ASTROFYRE

Having your interests mocked as a kid and general low self esteem will have you insulting the things you like even when they're generally considered very good. Because you like it, and historically when you like something it's stupid and not worth anyone's time. So you will say nonsense like "I recommend this book/game/film, but it's okay if you hate it, it sucks, I really enjoyed it but that's because I'm an idiot" and you are recommending them the Citizen fucking Kane of that particular media type. And importantly: you need to stop doing this it is killing you

interacting with the cool mutual while full of fear and anxiety

one trick to learn (and this is easier when you're older) is that absolutely no one is cool. there is no such thing as a cool person. anyone you think is cool is just anxious about things you haven't learned about them yet