ceo of my own oc lore

I'm just going to be more or less transcribing my discord rambles (skipping some conversational starters and stuff to distill the ramble down to an infodump) here lol because IIIIIIII don't really know how else to do this SO

here we go

Basically the entire idea behind this au (or honestly calling it a thought experiment would be more accurate because there's not a whole lot of solid plot going on, I just thought "hey what if we put these guys in a Situation" and ran with it) is that Caliban went to find Tahraim for the god meeting too early, walked into the confrontation between him and the Collector, and got soul-yoinking-knifed as a result (with a twist)

because what is the point of fanfiction if not to stab your favorite characters and see what happens :]

anyways yeah Caliban accidentally interrupted an Important Plot MomentTM and got stabbed for their troubles with one of those soul-stealing knives

EXCEPT - and here's the twist - it didn't work entirely as intended

(i'm pretty sure a lot of this isn't going to end up being canon-compliant in terms of the magic system btw, but hey it's fanfiction of fanfiction so I'm gonna not stress over it too much because the main point of the whole au was to put The Character in a Situation anyways and I sure did put them in a Situation lol so I'm happy)

my current working theory is that since the knife was made for Tahraim and not Caliban (as Feral Storm God has previously established, soul yoinking knives only really work for people that it's specifically tailored to), it only partially yoinked Caliban's soul instead of yoinking the entire thing

also because their domain is still intact so that's also a thing

and what this basically amounts to is that Caliban is stuck in an incarnation with access to ZERO of their god powers

i'm imagining the situation as kind of like an overchannel; Caliban could, theoretically, use their god powers since they're still connected to their divine oversoul, but it would be Very Bad and also probably not very healthy for their incarnation (and considering that nobody knows what would happen if they disincarnate in this state, whether or not their consciousness would return to their oversoul or if it would just dissipate... yeah nobody really wants to find out). and maybe in time the soul channel would heal and they can slowly access more of their powers (wink wink nudge nudge this will be relevant later) but for now they are essentially powerless

as you may be able to imagine, they don't like this very much

which, honestly, fair

but they can't really do anything about it

and you may be wondering, okay all that happened, what now

and this is the real fun part:

The way i'm imagining the start of the au right now is a) Caliban interrupts the God Taker trying to God Take Tahraim (forgive my unacademic language), b) idk cool fight scene or something, c) Caliban nearly gets God Taken by the God Taker, and d) in some sort of last-ditch effort to save Caliban from getting entirely God Taken, Tahraim forces Caliban out of his little pocket realm – yeeting them straight into the middle of the Floof Squad's adventure

yup, the floof squad is now stuck with a depowered god who is very very unhappy about being depowered and would really much rather be up and at it trying to solve the god taker problem except oops, they physically cannot do that because of the getting-depowered thing

and honestly i think getting into this situation is really interesting for Feral Storm God Caliban especially because one of their main things in that fic is that they're trying to overcome the inherent inability of gods to comprehend/understand mortal perspectives

and oops, now they are literally stuck in what is honestly as close to a mortal perspective as they are ever going to get, how do they deal with this

and while i don't know if this is more or less narratively satisfying than Caliban figuring it out through natural story progression you've gotta at least agree that it's certainly an interesting situation for them to be in

there's also a whole lot of logistics about how this entire situation is going to work that i am very very interested in discussing

because Caliban's incarnation is built VERY different from Vash's

and that has a lot of very fun Implications to explore (shoutout to Implications gotta be one of my favorite genders) especially if we contrast their experience with Kendal's

because first of all, Vash is heavily implied if not explicitly stated to be an outlier amongst gods in that he built his incarnation to last without him actively being in it

while Caliban, as both a god that is Not Vash and also especially as a trickster god, would have most likely built an incarnation that is more easily dissolvable and/or reshapable than usual for better shapeshifting purposes, and thus would have less internal structure and support

honestly i think Caliban's continued presence in said incarnation is probably the only thing keeping it together

there is basically no chance of a Kendal 2.0 happening even if Caliban did get entirely God Taken because the incarnation would just straight up fall apart. I imagine it to be essentially a hollow shell of sand with fire/soul inside lol

and as you can imagine, that's probably not very structurally stable

and what i'm basically getting at is that at the moment, they are a Glass Cannon without the cannon

which honestly sucks a lot for them because with the way i read Feral Storm God Caliban, they seem to be a very actions-oriented character

they like meddling, they like pranking, they're impatient and generally they prefer to be the one doing things instead of being the one who's sitting back, twiddling their thumbs and watching other people be the ones doing the things (unless they're watching the results of their hard work, either for a prank or a plan. like they stay in the background but they're not passive, if that makes sense)

And here I will pull up an excerpt from my Premeditated Infodump notes file because there's a lot of logistics regarding this whole situation that I think I summed up more or less pretty well the first time I wrote it all down:

okay but this Caliban thought experiment is actually very interesting especially in the context of the Tahraim Adopts A Feral Storm God au in that au specifically Caliban is trying to find a way to understand and connect with their mortals so what if they get stuck in an essentially mortal body and forced to deal with it how would they react what might be some circumstances that will arise and this is where i take the Implications (which is one of my favorite genders) and run with them fully into angst territory because Implication 1: Vash is considered an outlier amongst gods, for making his incarnation stable on its own. Caliban, for example, makes their incarnations out of *sand* and as first Tynan then the Collector then Kendal kindly demonstrated for us, sand incarnations does not seem to hold up well against physical force you can get a whole lot of Implications just thinking about the logistics of Caliban's incarnation in mortal ish form like, for one I don't think they possess most bodily functions, nor do they have a need for them. all they need is a vessel for their soul to sit in so Caliban wouldn't need to like eat or sleep they just need to be able to hold their body together they also likely will not have ANY pain receptors because why would they do that to themselves (edit: also their reaction to Kendal literally breaking their arm was "rude >:(" unlike when certain other gods were injured (Vash, Tynan to some degree, Zuurith) so yeah no definitely no pain receptors there) generally pain is a good indicator of if something's wrong so you can fix it but if you don't plan for your body to stick around long term then there is literally no point to giving yourself any since you'll literally take it apart within the next hour anyways so Caliban could get like stabbed and they just would not notice which could be both a blessing and a curse depending on the situation

and as you can imagine the above "blessing and a curse" becomes a bit more of a curse now that keeping their incarnation stable and functioning has become a bit more of a priority for them

But also in regards to this quote

"and maybe in time the soul channel would heal and they can slowly access more of their powers (wink wink nudge nudge this will be relevant later)"

from earlier:

kendal connects with vash better when he's holding the sword does caliban have any sort of object/place that's intrinsically connected with their divine characterization? some kind of *weapon,* perhaps?

and this is another reason why i think this au works so much better in the context of Feral Storm God

because in Feral Storm God Dainix is explicitly meant to be some sort of divine champion/weapon/thingy for Caliban and is thus linked to their divine characterization the same way Kendal the Sword is to Vash

now there's a whole slew of possibilities for what happens when Dainix and Caliban collaborate in this au, but my current thought process is a) Caliban gets to access more of their god powers b) maybe Dainix gets a power-up (although if this does end up happening it'll probably be later on in the au considering Caliban's connection with their divine oversoul wasn't exactly the most stable at the beginning)

I'm especially thinking about this panel from the comic:

In this sense, Dainix as Caliban's Champion with a capital C would be pretty important to helping their soul "find its way back" to their incarnation which they are currently stuck in

like there are definitely things we could do with this god-incarnation-divine weapon relationship and honestly i'm having a lot of fun with all the possibilities

oh also i drew a quick thing for the au^2 as kind of like a i guess character design reference? but i put lore in it on accident

anyways i think something that'll be a real kicker for Caliban and Caliban specifically in this situation is that now that they are essentially entirely dependent on this ragtag gaggle of mortals for like, staying alive and stuff, they actually have to learn to be honest and ask for help

two things that i don't think comes very naturally to them especially in the Feral Storm God universe

like sure, they've promised to keep Dainix in the loop about god stuff and sure, they've sought out assisstance from Tahraim about Dainix, but those situations are different

the first one, it's an effort to build trust with Dainix and to try and get closer to overcoming the inherent god perspective issue, plus it's all official god stuff, it's not personal

and for the second one, it's Tahraim, he doesn't count

but now it's more personal. if there's a problem with their incarnation, they can't fix it themselves. if they don't know something, they have to ask about it. they've been thrown headfirst into the deep end on navigating a world that they are not made for, at the complete mercy of fate and whatever other forces are in play with little means to change anything

so yeah they're not having a good time. as ive mentioned before they like doing stuff (even if it's mostly in the background) and they don't like being passive but now they can't really be much else other than passive

or well that's what they feel like at least

and i do think that they end up unconsciously slipping back into old habits a bit in response to all the uncertainty and unfamiliarity

they definitely tried to pull the "i'm your god so listen to me" thing a couple of times

except Dainix have been getting character development over the course of the fic so he actually recognizes what Caliban's behavior actually means and responds with something along the lines of "yes, but i'm also your Champion, so tell me what's wrong"

and i don't think Caliban realizes it immediately but thinking back on the interaction later they do end up having a bit of a revelation that, "oh, he's not just the little kid that i've watched grow up anymore. he's actually matured a whole lot without me"

it's like that one scene in Feral Storm God where Tahraim was like "yeah he's not going to serve a god that falls short of his standards so you need to get working on that" except I think seeing it in person as basically a mortal really hits differently

the perspective is different

speaking of Dainix and his relationship to Caliban:

if this au is going to have any semblance of a plot, i'm absolutely sure that I want this whole experience of being essentially mortal to shape Caliban in some way and get them closer to their goal

because like, character development

the events of the au is essentially pushing Caliban out of the bird nest into Scary Uncertain Territory Full Of Character Development Potential and watching them figure out how to fly in real time

but looking at it with a different metaphor, in Feral Storm God, Caliban is essentially trying to reshape themselves - think metalworking/blacksmithing metaphors/imagery, something that Tahraim and the Feral Storm God fic is very very fond of (and honestly same; it's a very versatile and useful analogy especially in terms of talking about character development)

so in the vein of that metaphor, this au would be chucking Caliban into a forge to melt and watching them build the mold that they wanted to be casted in

and guess what's the thing used in metalworking to hold melted metals until they're ready to be casted

a CRUCIBLE

AKA DAINIX

literally look at this passage from the original fic

there is SOME sort of metaphor here and I am VERY interested in thinking about the Implications

like in canon aurora the word Crucible likely just refers to the ability of fire/soulfire to transmute elements and stuff

but in Feral Storm God, Dainix is explicitly meant to be some sort of weapon/tool to help Caliban overcome the inability of gods to properly listen to/understand mortals, amongst other things, and in the process he has also been the inciting incident/motivating force/cause for Caliban's own character development

think these passages in particular:

and in the au i want him to be a similar kind of guiding force to Caliban just by existing as he is – "the crucible itself can take the heat without changing", in Tahraim's words

He's already proven himself capable of standing his ground against his god and even pushing against them to advocate for his own boundaries and needs; he's also been shown to be pretty adept at pushing Caliban's own limits both directly (giving suggestions and offering a different perspective on problems) and indirectly (motivating Caliban to change to become a god that he would be proud to call his patron)

he is going to do soooooo much Championing in this au and honestly i'm really excited to see it (i say, as if i'm not the one writing the dang thing)

he is literally. literally a crucible oh my goodness

Caliban's experiences during their Collector-induced mortality is the forge that unmade the god. Dainix is the crucible that holds the melted metal and the Champion that gives them the space and guidance they need to pick up the pieces and reshape themselves. ough

anyways pivoting for a quick moment here

something i've noticed is that the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known seems to be something that Feral Storm God Caliban struggles with

they don't like to be perceived, they don't like to be known, they don't like to be seen, I guess is the closest way I can put it

some relevant excerpts below:

I find it really interesting how they care a lot but deliberately doesn't show it to the people they care for (with the exception of Tahraim, but i suspect it may be because Tahraim is also a god and also their friend so their relationship is different from the relationship Caliban has with their mortals)

their pride as a god probably contributed to that a little bit too; although I do wonder if there's some sort of self-image thing going on – see that whole convo they had with Tynan about Vash, for example – that could be a reason why they choose to hide themselves from their mortals, if not the entire reason (because at least a part of it would just be their trickster personality & characterization; you won't be a very effective trickster if people could see right through you)

anyways it sure sucks that I'm putting them in a situation where a) they have to depend on other people and thus be honest about Important Things Pertaining To Themselves b) they can't stop people from Perceiving them by disincarnating or trickster-god-ing their way out of situations and c) oh boy is that the ex-vessel of Vash (who Feral Storm God Caliban seems to feel at least a little bit inferior to in the guardian god aspect) i sure do hope that there's no potential for interpersonal conflict there (also it's not like Caliban has historically had problems with seeing people-weapons as people (see "No, I can be a person and maybe also a weapon" conversation with Dainix) and hoo boy it's not like Kendal's Whole Arc Thus Far has been learning to see himself as a person and not a weapon, nope I'm sure that's all going to be fine and dandy)

and also on another change of topic that is still somewhat related:

Caliban behaves differently in front of gods compared to in front of mortals.

they seem to be more genuine around other gods, being more openly emotional and straightforward about their thoughts and feelings – and more importantly, insecurities and flaws (see: conversations with Tahraim, that one conversation with Tynan about Vash, etc)

but around mortals they act with all the pride and bluster of a trickster-guardian god, always self-assured and Knows Better Than You; I'm thinking back on that Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known thing I talked about earlier plus that conversation with Tynan about Vash (I'm sure getting a lot of mileage out of that one scene huh) – Caliban said it themselves that they're more impressive to mortals when they can't be seen (at least that's what they believe), and thus it's reasonable to assume that this is their way of keeping that up when they do have to show themselves. They want mortals – and especially their mortals (and that is something else that i'm interested in diving into although maybe not right now; i've got a short fic idea about that whole shebang that I'm maybe going to write (depends on how confident i feel in my writing skills really, i'm terrible at writing descriptive prose)) to respect them and this seems to be their way of getting that respect (especially if, in their perspective, their more genuine behavior that they display around Tahraim and probably at least some of the other gods isn't going to impress their mortals – circling back to that Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known thing)

anyways where I'm going with this is that now that they're stuck in this incarnation with no way of Trickster-God-ing their way out of it, they have 2 options:

Keep up the act. (Now I feel like it would be disingenuous to boil it down to a simple "True Caliban Deep Down" vs "False Caliban That They Present To Others But Isn't Actually Who They Are" situation; lying and acting is very much a central part of who they are, and although some parts of their behavior in front of mortals could stem from the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known it is very possible that part of it is also just because they like to mess with people. Instead, I like to think of it as Caliban deliberately picking and choosing what aspects of themselves to present to others, kind of like code-switching. Anyways point is that there's nuance)

The thing about the above option, though, is that without their Trickster God powers and ability to Trickster God their way out of situations they don't want to be in, I genuinely don't see that lasting very long. Of course they're probably going to try anyways (taps "Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known" sign) but the sheer dissonance between the amount of Trickster God required to keep that up compared to the amount of Trickster God that they're actually capable of at the moment would mean that no matter how hard they try to stay in this persona, sooner or later something is going to have to go and at that point it'll be way easier to peel apart the layers and see the sides of themself that they've deliberately kept away from mortal eyes for hundreds if not thousands of years

and when that happens, I'm not sure if they'll have much of a choice other than to commit to the second option:

Get Perceived

something that, as we have previously established, they really don't seem to like

but ironically, this Getting Percieved is probably going to be HUGELY important to both their character development AND the development of their relationship with Dainix (which is also very important to them and their character development)

Getting Perceived instead of being the only one doing the Perceiving places them on even ground with the Floof Squad; it'll be easier for the Floof Squad to communicate with them and more importantly understand them, instead of Caliban always observing and learning things about others but never letting others learn things about themself. It repositions Caliban and the Floof Squad as equals, and this balancing in power means that it'll be easier for them to get on the same page, to communicate, to understand each other – it's the exact perspective shift that Caliban was trying to achieve through their project with Dainix. In their own godly sort of way, Caliban is a lot more human than they give themselves credit for; and it's this same humanity that they've been hiding that will allow them to connect with the mortals that they're now traveling with, even if it's not the exact same as their humanity (after all, Caliban is still a god with a unique divine perspective; but that doesn't mean that they can't also be a person, if that makes sense)

Their previous behavior may have commanded respect from mortals, but it was a distant kind of respect; the kind you give to a god and not someone you know personally (which, to be fair, they are a god)

But as we've seen in Feral Storm God, Dainix has been slowly closing that distance, with his whole alliance thing with Caliban (see above excerpts of Dainix doing Champion Things); if Caliban wants Dainix to trust them, then they have to be someone he knows he can rely on and work with and communicate with, not just a force of nature or a power working in the background – they need to be someone that Dainix can respect as a person and not just a god, and, crucially, they need to be able to show him that: this is where the Getting Perceived part comes in.

In order to decide if someone is worthy of your respect as a person and not a god, you actually have to see what they're like as a person first; with Caliban always deliberately presenting themself to mortals as a god and not a person that you could get to know, this was pretty much impossible (Tahraim even commented on this: "if Dainix knew about this protective streak of yours, you'd be halfway done already")

But now they don't have much else of a choice but to act like a person (even if they don't want to) both because the alternative choice doesn't hold water anymore but also because of the previously mentioned "they have to depend on other people and thus be honest about Important Things Pertaining To Themselves" thing

and basically what I'm getting at is that while Caliban deals with The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, Dainix is going to get to see an entirely different side of his god that he probably didn't even know about the existence of – and I think as time goes on and he gets to know Caliban as a person better.

He'll see how they can get frustrated and angry and impatient, but will still keep trying anyway, even when things seem hard or even impossible: trying to stay afloat in their new, uncertain predicament, trying to understand and collaborate with mortals, trying to become a better person and god.

He'll see how they care. Not just saying it through their words ("I basically made an oath that I care. Sort of.") but through their actions. The way they're fiercely loyal and protective even if they don't want people to see it, the way they refuse to sit back and do nothing even if the most they can do is change things from the sidelines or in the background.

and as Caliban learns to navigate their newfound near-mortality and grows as a person from their experiences with the Floof Squad, I think he would finally see a god that he, in Tahraim's words, "would find it an honor to call his patron."

Extra Things:

a quick doodle in case you were wondering what Tahraim's up to in this au (aka basically the same thing as Feral Storm God Canon)

(forgive me Dainix fans because i do not know now to draw nor write him, the hyperfixation is pretty localized to Caliban at the moment TwT)

Also here's another thing that isn't canon to the au but would be really funny if it was