a girlfag

Top photo is a before and after. On the left is Day #1 and the right is Day #600 of my therapy. The photo on the bottom is from today, with no make up. I have been testing to see if I could still grow out some scruff, and I can. <3

Day one I was freshly shaved. So, as you can tell I had COURSE and DARK facial hair, that couldn’t be covered with just a touch of make up. Foundation and concealer would just make that part of my face look dried out and flaky, unless I wore an actual layer of concealer to the point where my skin couldn’t breath. So, I just didn’t wear make up and tried to have the healthiest skin I possibly could. 

Day six hundred I was freshly shaved. I have had no laser treatments or permanent hair removal at all. I simply shaved, and applied a very light layer of concealer, no foundation. We are talking less than a dime size amount mostly under my eyes, chin and jaw. Applied with a sponge that absorbed half that dime size amount, lol. I did put on mascara, lip gloss and light blue eye liner on my bottom lash line. I also shaped my brows in both pics with a brow wax/gel combo. 

So… I would 100% say that HRT has completely eliminated ANY dysphoria I once had over my facial hair. Being me, I wanted to know how long it would take for me to look scruffy, as my facial hair is both lighter, softer and grows very slowly now almost 2 years into my therapy. It took me 4 days just to grow out what you see in the bottom picture, and to be honest I fucking LOVE that if I damn well please, he can still grow a beard!

Living my best genderfluid life! 

sapphic spotify playlist / mlm spotify playlist

best friends

bestie by sizzy rocket

boyfriend by tegan and sara

hmu by spacegirl gemmy

iilwmbf by salen

jenny by studio killers

kari equals hottie by the dollyrots

no kings by the total bettys

sleepover by hayley kiyoko

two little girls by ani difranco

breakups - wlw 

0108 by nakala

always this way by laura marling

bad at love by halsey

come on in my kitchen by larkin poe

conversations by lauren sanderson 

cruise freestyle by nakala

curious by hayley kiyoko

deleted you by be steadwell

good girl by domo wilson

in my blood by ji nilson

let me go by be steadwell

like me by chely wright

me & her by heavens to betsy 

new girl by be steadwell

now i’m all messed up by tegan & sara

she’s not you by grace petrie

strangers by halsey

talia by king princess 

breakups - mlm

better off just friends by pansy division

closure by ieuan

fighting for by brendan maclean

glenview by pansy division

it doesnt matter to him by john grant 

ramona by ieuan

stephen by brayton bowman

straight boy by shamir 

the day u left me by ieuan

too much to ask by pansy division

bisexuality

b.i.g by caitlyn scarlett

bad at love by halsey

bi by alicia champion

bi by alizee 

bi by living colour

bisexual by grlwood 

blinders by phem

boys by maris

boys/girls by torrey mercer

do not disturb by halestorm

gettin’ bi by crazy ex gf cast

girls/girls/boys by panic! at the disco

i do both jay and jane by postman

i wanna bf with a car by kate nash

in or out by ani difranco

not myself tonight by christina aguilera 

pretty boys and pretty girls-book of love

swings both ways by robbie williams 

cheating - wlw 

all the girls love alice by emeli sande

boyfriend by marika hackman

girlfriend by kitty

greatness by jen foster

i kissed a girl by jill sobule

cheating - mlm

all american boy by steve grand

billy brown by mika

deadahh by lil ph*g

girlfriend by mnek

i kissed a boy by jupither

im still your f*g by broken social scene 

life lovers by pansy division

to be alone with you by sufjan stevens 

christmas 

12 gays of christmas-bubba love sponge

a dirty gay christmas-jonny mcgovern

homo christmas by pansy division

i saw daddy kissing santa-rupaul

itsa very queer christmas-erin mckeown

river by sam smith

rudy the big booty reindeer-big freedia

santa baby by rupaul

santa is a gay man-big freedia

crushes & love - wlw 

all day and all of the night - kate nash

and then she kissed me by st. vincent

aquafina by cj run

beautiful girl by sophie b. hawkins

boys aside by sofya wang

bwu by tegan and sara 

california friends by the regrettes

cardigan sweater by jasmine kennedy

caroline by girlyman

cherry by rina sawayama

come what may by daisy o’connor

daisy by zedd

girl by the internet

hometown by maddie ross 

honey by kehlani

i love you, sadie by wyvern lingo

if it isnt her by ani difranco

know your name by mary lambert

mad about the girl by valerie june

marian by julian weldon

marry me by tender forever

proud by ji nilson

radiant warmth by miki ratsula

rebel girl by bikini kill

red by miki ratsula

runway by kodie shane 

she by jen foster

she says by ani difranco

she keeps me warm by mary lambert

sing to her by kodie shane

sunshine by grace petrie

watercolor roses by ness nite

wild by molly burch

with a girl like you by thao & the get down stay down

crushes & love - mlm

all american boy by steve grand 

american boyfriend by kevin abstract

and i love him by benjamin gibbard

caramel by john grant 

denny by pansy division

garden boy by boy blue 

handsome man by matt alber

hold each other by a great big world

i met a man by romanovsky and phillips

just some guy by anthony rapp

love came along by pansy division

mannequin by leon markcus

michael by franz ferdinand 

my guy by kele okereke 

too beautiful by pansy division

two men in love by the irrepresibles

what a beautiful day by brett every 

gay & lesbian culture 

bears by tom goss

blue collar sex kitten-lauren ruth ward

boys wear pink by todrick hall

butch in the streets by tribe 8

closet femme by kate reid

drag king bar by bitch and animal

dyke bars never last by sapphic lasers

elderly lesbians by sara renberg

everyone is gay by a great big world

femme bitch top by tribe 8

gay bash by melange lavonne

gay parenting by melange lavonne

gay sex by be steadwell

girls like girls by hayley kiyoko

i can be a lesbian by judy small

i don’t do boys by elektra

i’ll never want a bf by bec sandridge

influenced by queers by judy small

lesbian chic by judy small

lgbt by lowell

lgbt by rupaul

like boys by hyphen hyphen

qda by god is my co-pilot

queer by frankie simone

queer for you by the degenerettes

the chapstick lesbian song by cassendre xavier 

the ellen page by partner

only dyke at the open mic-kate reid

the only gay person by sara renberg

the queer song by two nice girls

twinkie twinkie little star-pansy division

twinks by matt fishel

vaccines made me gay by grlwood

war paint by frankie simone 

homophobia & coming out 

american boyfriend by kevin abstract

apple pie by todrick hall

becoming myself by domo wilson

behind closed doors by matt fishel

boys in the street by greg holden

checking out your babe by tribe 8

compulsive liar by ezra furman

dumb by todrick hall

feminist housewives-bitch and animal

forbidden by todrick hall

g.d.m.m.l. grls by tyler glenn

gay thoughts by the growlers 

gay sex by be steadwell

heaven sent by parker millsap

hold your hand by nicolette forte

homo song by mara levi

lezbophobia by tribe 8

love is love by naz & ella

love is love by starley

married in london by janis ian

miserable america by kevin abstract

not worth hiding by alex the astronaut

pride by grace petrie

radio friendly pop song by matt fishel

she keeps me warm by mary lambert

since when are you gay? by childbirth 

some of my best friends-pansy division

thats so gay by pansy division

the village by wrabel

this is me by jen foster

whats expected of you-lipstick homicide

who wears the pants?? by soko

you can’t pray the gay away-laura bell bundy

pining - wlw

1950 by king princess

better anyway by lauren sanderson

boyfriend by marika hackman

boyfriend by tegan and sara

carrie (i want a girl) by moaning lisa

done deal by grace petrie

explosion by zolita

flirting with her by sir babygirl

girls by girl in red

girlfriend by kitty

girlfriend by ria mae

i need a woman to love by kesha

i wanna bf with a car by kate nash

i want her by blind fury

i wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red 

jenny by studio killers

jessie’s girl by mary lambert

pretty girls by sequin sally

sister by kate nash

sleepover by hayley kiyoko

pining - mlm

boys that dance by ieuan

girl crush by harry styles

good guys by mika 

good wife by mika 

guy.exe by superfruit

him by geo louis

homie lova friend by anye elite 

i love you by woodkid

i really wanted you by pansy division

i wanna boi by pwr bttm

i wanted him by lontalius

im the friend by pansy division

my heart aches for you by pansy division

need a man blues by bronski beat

preppy boy by john grant 

the art teacher by rufus wainwright

the man i love by chester lockhart

sex - wlw

bestie by sizzy rocket

bitches by tove lo

boinked the bride by ember swift 

box by siya

dive by tiffany gouche

dreamboat by mirah

flowers for anna by ames

girls by beatrice eli

hefner by tana mongeau

holy by king princess

i didnt just kiss her by jen foster

kissing pink by kodie shane

lick it by god-des & she

pussy mine by bella thorne 

pynk by janelle monae 

sweet girl by nicole dollanganger

tangerine by cj run

true love cafe by nicole dollanganger 

sex - mlm

20 years of cock by pansy division

beercan boy by pansy division

bloom by troye sivan

chanel by frank ocean

daddy by sakima

dick of death by pansy division

groovy underwear by pansy division

he’s got his mothers hips-john grant 

he’s trippi by sakima

i lost my innocence by ezra furman

iced out dick by lil ph*g

its just a job by pansy division

james bondage by pansy division

new pleasures by pansy division

rachbottomoff by pansy division

seventeen by troye sivan

snug slacks by john grant 

t.h.u.g (trade) by todrick hall

tease by tyra b 

the cocksucker club by pansy division

tinted windows by pansy division

wet by anye elite

transitioning & dysphoria

a guy named joe by joe stevens

boy in a dress by namoli brennet

daughter by ryan cassata

daughterson by joe stevens

dysphoria by saint wellesley

f*gette by athens boys choir

ftm at the dmv by schmekel

genderless by jonesin and the hurt

genderqueer love song by schmekel 

girl or boy by dani shay

my lgbt story by itsbambii

new men with old man names-schmekel

second puberty by jake edwards

sex:male;gender:whatever-human kitten

tell me a story by skylar kergil

the village by wrabel

trans is love by marissa kay

trans punx by size of sadness

transgender dysphoria blues-against me 

true trans soul rebel by against me 

they/them/theirs by worriers

you cant tell me by jake edwards

youth

carla williams kissed me-jamie anderson

compulsive liar by ezra furman

diplomats son by vampire weekend

first time he kissed a boy by kadie elder

grace by jamie anderson

i lost my innocence by ezra furman

kiss the boy by keiynan lonsdale

loners by maddie ross

mr, peterson by perfume genius

pat me on the ass by pansy division

room by palehound

seventeen by troye sivan

seventeen by kevin abstract

son of a preacher man by tom goss

Songs specifically about being queer/gay/lesbian/trans/ect:

Lesbian

1950 by King Princess

An old fashioned love story by Alix Korey

Blue collar sex kitten - Lauren Ruth Ward

Drag king bar by Bitch and Animal

Dyke bars never last by Sapphic Lasers

Elderly lesbians by Sara Renberg

Girls like girls by Hayley Kiyoko

Homo song by Mara Levi

I can be a lesbian by Judy Small

I don’t do boys by Elektra

Lesbica Futurista by GA31

Like boys by Hyphen Hyphen

Not worth hiding by Alex the Astronaut

The only dyke at the open mic by Kate Reid

The only gay person by Sara Renberg

Gay

20 years of cock by Pansy Division

All American boy by Steve Grand

American Boyfriend by Kevin Abstract

Boys wear pink by Todrick Hall

Everyone is gay by A Great Big World

F*ggots getting money by Anye Elite

First time he kissed a boy by Kadie Elder

Gay Pirates by Cosmo Jarvis

G.D.M.M.L GRLS by Tyler Glenn

Heaven sent by Parker Millsap

Ok 2 b gay by Tomboy

Radio friendly pop song by Matt Fishel

You’re gay by Sebastian Castro

Bisexual

Bad at love by Halsey

Bets by Chynna

B.I.G by Caitlyn Scarlett 

Bi by Alicia Champion

Bi by Living Colour

Boys by Maris

Boys/girls by Torrey Mercer

Chanel by Frank Ocean

Gettin bi by Crazy Ex Girlfriend Cast

Girl crush by Harry Styles

Girls by Rita Ora

Girls/girls/boys by Panic! At the Disco

I kissed a girl by Katy Perry

I wanna boyfriend with a car by Kate Nash

She’s not him by Miley Cyrus 

Swing both ways by Robbie Williams

Tangerine by CJ Run

Trans men

A guy named Joe by Joe Stevens

Before you go by Laith Ashley

Daughter by Ryan Cassata

Daughterson by Joe Stevens

F*gette by Athens Boys Choir

FTM at the DMV by Schmekel

I’m your man by Lucas Silveria

New men with old man names- Schmekel

Second puberty by Jake Edwards

Tell me a story by Skylar Kergil

The Village by Wrabel

Trans women

Boy in a dress by Namoli Brennet

Delicate, petie & other things I’ll never be by Against me!

I am her by Shea Diamond

Gender Armageddon by Shawna Virago 

Girl it’s your time by Vivek Shraya

G.L.O.S.S (We’re the future) by G.L.O.S.S

Trans woman dies of old age by The Hirs Collective

True trans soul rebel by Against Me

Transgender dysphoria blues-Against Me

Queen of this shit by Quay Dash

Nonbinary

Gender bronoun by Human Kitten

Genderless by Jonesin and the Hurt

Genderqueer love song by Schmekel

Gender queer by Lip Shit Queers

Girl or boy by Dani Shay

Sex: male; Gender: whatever by Human Kitten

They/them by Atlas

They/them/theirs by Worriers

Queer

QDA by God is my Copilot

QUEER by BROCKHAMPTON

Queer by Frankie Simone

Queer as in fuck you-Dog Park Dissidents

Queer clubbing by Ste Mccabe

Queer for you by The Degenerettes

The queer gospel by Erin Mckeown

You know what made me figure out that I’m trans though? Gender euphoria. The minute I got called a ‘sir’ is the moment that I realized, “shit this feels right.” And at that point I realized that I could no longer deny the fact that I’m not a woman and that I couldn’t keep living as one.

Me: *sees a pretty girl* o lordy i’m gay

My dear lgbt+ kid, 

Thankyou for sharing this, that’s a really interesting strategy! <3 

With all my love, 

I do it too^^

I’m so proud of you.

You are valid.

You are beautiful.

Your feelings are precious and important.

I hope with all my heart you are happy.

With all my love,

At first, she was just very confused so I tried to explain it but she didn't even listen and just made that "This is weird. I don't understand it. Is she serious right now?"-face.

And because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable and stuff, I eventually just said "But if you prefer that, just think of me as any normal girl." and the second I said that, I heard my heart break... But she seemed relieved and just went on with a happy "Okay" and changed the topic. Outch…

I regret saying this so much rn…

Also I forgot to get my clothes for sports class today so I had to grab any Shirt I found before I had to hurry to school but it turned out to be a very girly one and I had to wear that for 3 hours…

You are not required to bind your chest. 

A lot of resources (and even positivity) for trans boys focus on binding. That’s not bad in itself - it’s important that you know that it’s an option and to talk about safety rules if you decide for that option. 

But sadly, this focus on binding can make you feel like every trans boy binds, like you need to bind to be a real boy. 

That’s not true at all. It’s optional! If you decide against it, you are still be a real boy. 

In fact, there are good reasons to not bind as it’s not 100% safe. There are unsafe ways and safer alternatives, yes - but “safer” doesn’t mean “absolutely no risks whatsoever”. (This is something people may not mention because “binding has risks” doesn’t sound positive or uplifting, and I get that. But putting a lot of pressure on your chest (and so by default on your lungs, your ribs etc) naturally comes with risks. For some people, the benefits outweigh the risks but that doesn’t mean the risks don’t exist.)

If you decide against it because of those risks, you’re still a real boy. 

If you decide against it for any other reason, you’re still a real boy. 

If you simply don’t want to, guess what? You’re still a real boy. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

New merch on my redbubble for all your TERF punching needs. Avalible both in trans flag and lesbian flag colors! All profits go towards helping a trans boy (me) pay his medical bills.

Tf is this? This. This is why we will never be able to solve problems like that.

It's literally like back in kindergarden, when this mean kid stole our shovel that we needed to build our awesome caste in the sand. We were kids and didn't know what else to do to this meany so we grapped a handfull of sand and threw it in their face. Then the kid got mad and threw sand too so we grapped full two hands of sand to throw. This went on until somebody stopped us or one of us was seriously hurt and ran away crying.

This merch is basically a handfull of sand! Of course what terfs do is.. not nice to stay all polite but the solution is NOT telling people to punch them!

I do know that it is not meant literally but honestly, this is childish and most of all very stupid. When somebody hurts you the solution is never ever to hurt this person too!

God, I sound like my preschool teacher but things like this just... muah! It is so stupid.

So y'all enjoy throwing sand while I am the kid in the corner that tells the two fighters to calm down but nobody listens to me anyway. Just know that I do not agree with this. Voilence out of anger is nothing I can support. Neither do I support terfs but I support humans. And by that I mean that everybody should be able to live in peace.

Well a) I love meeting new people, learning about their struggles and Problems, seeing how we’re somehow all the same.

b) I found one good friend there but we never know when the other one will have time to be online so I just try to be online as long as possible^^

and c) Whenever I talk to someone, they eventually ask about my gender.Then I just tell them and it’s either “cool”, “sexy”, “non existent" or I don’t get a reply at all. Mostly I actually meet people that are 100% supportive (could be because I’m in an lgbtq+ room all the time xD).

But the most important thing for me is when they just assume my gender. I use "girlfag” as a name there but since nobody knows what that means, they just assume. My profile pic is an anime boy but I know myself, that he looks kinda female which is why I chose him (thanks Yurio^^)

Funny thing is that they usually just go with the gender that they are attracted to the most. Like, most men go with girl, every single lesbian I met there assumes that too but all the gay men just naturally go with boy. Only know one straight woman there and try to avoid her as much as possible because she scares me xD 

Anyway, whenever somebody doesn’t ask what gender I have, I always have to somehow find out what they think I am (only met one person that just didn’t care at all) which can be kinda tricky but it always end with the same situation: I have to correct them.

If they think I’m a girl, I feel uncomfortable and just have to correct them. If they think I’m a boy, I feel bad because I know very well, that I am not physically and I am kinda lying to the person I’m talking to. So I have to say something as well.

This way I learned how to politely correct them. By now, I went from

“Hey.. uhm… you know.. I have to tell you something… I mean.. You probably think that I’m a boy/girl but actually I (only) have a female body but identify as a boy too so… Would you mind not to call me a girl?/ Thought you would want to know that even though I like that you call me a boy.”

to

“Yeah, that was funny! xD Also could you please not call me a girl? Feels weird since I’m kinda trans lol.”

Only “correcting” people that automatically call me a boy is still weird because I’m afraid they’re gonna leave then and I often think “Do they even have to know? We’ll probably never see each other anyway… But what if we do? What if we keep in touch for a while and our whole relationshop is a lie?! Damnit, have to tell them…" 

Also it’s strange that I have to "correct” people that for once don’t misgender me xD

Anyway, the best part is definitely when I get the amazing “asl?” question and I just sit there like. “Oh look, in a few seconds we’ll have another confused man.”

Btw, at the beginning my answer to that was pretty long too like “Well uhm… I am a boy and a girl. But only mentally. Physically I’m a girl but that bothers me so please don’t say that..” etc. 

Until I realized that that’s stupid and I just said “bigender” for sex.

Most people stop messaging me then so it’s my number one strategy for pervs xD

I just found out that for some reason, women kinda scare me now and right when I thought that, a woman suddenly messaged me and I almost had a heart attack xD

So I told to myself that I have to man up and for some reason I decided to tell her that I'm male (to feel stronger I guess) even though I knew that that was wrong.

But it turned out that she was a lesbian and totally not interested in men and OH MY GOSH my bigenderness just saved me!

Oh boy, am I being little? Naaah