mostly void, partially stars

RULE NO. 1 OF WOUND CARE: ignore itttt :33

DO NOT

RULE NO. 2 OF WOUND CARE: go swimming!! in a pond or especially a public pool :)

WHO TF ARE YOU?!?!?!

And of course the second part of the tragedy, which is: which quadrant did you think you were in vs. which one you were really in

Bean, Bean, the wonderful cat, the more he eats the more he fat, the more he fat the louder he yells, so feed the Bean or go to hell

i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

As far as Pokemon trainers go I'm basically a huge badass. Any kid who enters my line of sight is going to get destroyed by my Pidgey. And if that doesn’t work? I have a second Pidgey with the exact same move set.

did u guys hear abt that intern fired from that law firm bc she bit like 10 people. im kinda obsessed with her god i wish there was footage

It's Autumn, which means if I make a Big Pot of Soup it will Fix Everything. No one fact check me on this. We need to let the soup speak for itself.

I really appreciate houseplants that communicate clearly. If you are thirsty you should perk up when I water you. If you want more light you should grow when I give you more sun. If you have too much light you should start to shrivel and brown. I’ve known too many houseplants that keep their cards close to their chests like oh ho ho riddle me this you’ll never guess what I’m dying of now!!!!