your honor you must understand i was penis delirious

when i was little i was obsessed with pickles like i would eat a whole jar of pickles and my parents were like you need to stop doing that and i threw a tantrum bc i couldn’t eat pickles but i did start rationing them or sneaking extra pickles at night. and sometimes i would take little nibbles of the pickle and put them on a paper towel and press out the juice and pretend the juiceless pickles were some sort of mollusk bc i read a book about a girl who was stranded on an island and she ate beach creatures and snails to survive and the process made the pickles really chewy which is what i imagined these foods to be like and then i would suck the pickle juice out of the paper towel.

Slay

This never happened. I don’t even live in your state.

… Its an anonymous message…

I order my food online.

bad and lazy design: having a couple have kids and the son(s) look exactly like the dad and the daughter(s) look exactly like the mom

i mean one of them is human

😂😂😂💋

thank you for your input, tumblr user thekinkstress

😏You are most welcome, beloved. 💋