To me, it was not about recognizing a "lack" of something in myself. Because I do crave emotional intimacy, a lot! And I thought that "romance" as defined by society was the only way to get it.
But the older I get, the more my eyes have opened to the possibilities of other types of love. Love that transcends labels, boundaries. Softer, quieter, safer.
So, now I say I am aromantic. But to me the aromantic label feels less like an orientation and more of a rebuttal. It's a refusal to exist in the parameters that society has set for me, and a radical acceptance that those parameters were doing me more harm than good. I want to take those expectations and throw them in the garbage, and just live and love freely.
As far as I am concerned, "romantic attraction" was always just a desire to participate in a type of relationship that has predetermined rules and expectations as a shortcut to getting emotional intimacy. And now that I've recognized that, I don't experience "romantic attraction" anymore.