aries: LISTEN. I FUCK.

taurus: I ate a burger with fries and cock for lunch, but only finished half of each

gemini: Sorry I don't smoke marriage iguana

cancer: can we PLEASE lengthen the max number of caps allowed in pets channel

leo: IM SORRY MAC BUT I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY UNCLE

virgo: some of y’all wearing them masks ab to die from y’all own breath ong

libra: Forgive me for being a thot tonight Jesus, but Britney is hitting too fucking hard

scorpio: if i reveal my feet people would beg to suck them

saggitarius: idk what y'all smell like when you're awake but when i normally smell you, you smell absolutely delicious

capricorn: i have the welcome rules tattooed on my ass

aquarius: i liked you better when you were gay

people on facebook: im racist and i love trump