Gakuen Fyodor Blog

Intimacy is a focal point for (Gakuen) Fyodor so you'll notice this is a main topic here.

The concept of if you're aroace who may be romance, sex, and/or sensual repulsed/neutral (+ cupio), you're basically mixed signals (even if they know you're cupio aroace). As our society is largely pro-romance/sex/sensual, people will always push romance/sex/sensuality onto you rather than assume not to do so (neutral people also suffer from lack of grayness in people's attitudes). I'm sure some of us are no stranger to becoming entangled in those type of situations whether in reality and/or online. Online in particular, say, extended to rps and your written works either in the past, present, and/or future. Reality's equivalent being forceful advances or even you engaging in it without force but something "compelled" you to, and you hadn't a reason why. That is simply the behavioral byproduct of indoctrination and acceptability.

It is a difficult concept for people to swallow that a romance/sex/sensual repulsed aroace can behave and/or have the sentiments for example of a yandere (just one example as it is "lovesick" so it's to the point). This is largely due to that person exhibiting emotional intensity and their outward behavior may appear quite like non-repulsed romance/sex aroace and allos. But their actual repulsed orientation begins to show once this boundary is trespassed (either themselves or another) hence they're mixed signals to people (sadly to themselves as well based on societal functions). Keep in mind, aroace (and favorable aroace) are allowed to this as well. Though their neutrality is squandered by our binary engineered world and so they along with favorables are often taken advantage of to where their aroace orientation is erased.

Emotions and the feelings that arise into form via those emotions themselves are not clear cut romantic, sexual, sensual, familial, or aesthetic. We've created categories of organization in an attempt to understand this abstraction within our minds that we neurologically feel. The issue is, we live in a society and so groupthink and groupfeel is prevalent. We associate X sentiments with romance/sexuality when it can either be a variation of the spectrum in love and/or platonicness even if it behaves exactly the way you'd see depicted in the construct of romance/sexuality.

Yes, it won't be easy to deprogram oneself due to our wiring of universality on some level but our innate inertia allows us what we call autonomy (whatever that may be. the contradiction that we are), by separating these concepts as moving parts of a whole in order get a bird's eye view of the actual human experience. What may describe X as romance and speak in words / act in manners that are labeled as romance. However, if they do not feel this fits them and they may or may not have another way to describe it, the "whole" of this is - you two are experiencing desire for connection no matter the description.

Shibusawa: "So did you seduce that Dazai fellow yet?"

Fyodor: "Not quite, no. But he did accept eternal chess partner. And Atsushi-kun?"

Shibusawa: "Not a dent. Looks like our boredom is here to stay"

Fyodor: "Hopefully not for long. I don't plan on keeping seated"

Hilariously, it has been implied twice Fyodor is a stalker (one with a Fyozai interaction and one with an NPC interaction). I've been saying, yes.

A fanon yet on the dot Gakuen Fyozai convo:

Dazai: "Hey wait a minute, you're at a golf club? Kunikida dragged me"

Fyodor: "Well happy little coincidences happen Dazai-kun. How blessed it is for us to meet again so soon"