Ask Cat Virgil

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you!  Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 

Lazily exposing belly - still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well. Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you. Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it.  I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!

Yes, the legends are true. Cats headbutt you to show their trust and affection. They also do it to show “hey look I see you as family.” Lions do it with members of their pride to say the same. It’s not just because they want food.

Cats nibbling is indeed literally cats grooming you. It’s what mom cats do to their kittens. If a cat is gently biting and/or licking you, they’re now your mom.

Meowing can simply be for the mere fact they want to say hello, want to play or be pet. Again, not just for food.

They barely meow at other cats (except for kittens, they meow at mom cat), mostly just humans. There are exceptions but overall, meowing is almost always for us.

Cats squinting/slow blinking is indeed basically the equivalent of us smiling and/or kissing.

Cats, like humans, prefer to get things without having to work for it- which isn’t very common within other animals.

Cat massages or making biscuits is because they happy! Kneading is another way of saying “hey I like this moment here I enjoy you and my life.”

Cats recognize us by smell, sound, taste, and touch. They recognize us after years as their long term memory is extremely good. This is why abused or neglected cats are so easily scared or hard to connect with. If your scent changes over the years or just in the day, your voice will them it’s really you. Also, they will only remember you if you had impact on their life. If you just existed in the same house, they obviously won’t care.

And yes, they know our patterns in the day. You notice it when it’s beneficial to them (feeding time!). They will often wait for you to come home as well.

To remember: cats think we are interesting as hell. They watch us do everything because we’re fascinating!!!

notice how when you’re unfamiliar but nonthreatening, they might loaf facing you and sorta halfway watch you. you’re not fully trusted, but you’re ok by them.

when you’re familiar and liked, they’ll often sit near you facing the same way. imitation of poses is a weird little way cats show solidarity. they do it to each other too. check out these bff’s:

they are doing this on purpose. it’s a buddy thing. so if you’re watching tv and a cat sits next to you and pretends to watch tv too, they are basically calling you bro and declaring friendship.

and if they really love and trust you, they’ll turn their back on you and go to sleep. they’ll sleep facing a wall in your presence, or lounge where they can’t see the room. this isn’t a snub, folks, this is true kitty love. they’re saying, “i feel safe when you’re around. i know nothing’s going to sneak up on me, because you’re here. i feel so safe i can stick my head under a pillow and snore with my butt pointed at you.”

A cat not using the litter box isn’t trying to upset you. There are a NUMBER of behavioral issues that might result in failure to use the box, ranging from medical issues, to territorial insecurities, to just plain you not cleaning the box often enough and your cat prefers not to step in its own excrement. Find and fix the problem and they’ll start using the box again,I promise. It’s an instinct for them, not something you have to train. 

A cat vomiting isn’t doing so to piss you off. I’ve literally seen examples of people who think this, but vomiting in cats is just as unnatural as vomiting in humans. It means something’s wrong. Maybe the food is upsetting their tummy; maybe they’re eating too fast. Maybe their food dish is gross (they need to be cleaned regularly too, especially if they’re plastic!). Or maybe there’s something else going on and the cat needs to visit a vet. Please don’t ignore cat vomiting as “just something cats do.” 

A cat hissing at you is terrified, not mad. It’s not angry, it’s scared. Scared cats try to appear as threatening as possible, but given a chance, a cat will always chose to retreat rather than attack you. Back off and give them that chance or things might end up badly for you both. (And a cat that continues to attack unprovoked may have something going on in their brain that needs to be addressed by a vet as well!).

Cats scratch to mark territory and to sharpen/shed their claws, not to piss you off. Cat scratching is very natural behavior. If your cat is scratching something you don’t want it to scratch, like a piece of furniture, there are ways you can encourage them to turn their attention to something more appropriate. Put a scratching post next to the spot. Find a way to make the spot less desirable (we put tape on the corner of our couch because our cats dislike the feel of the tape under their claws). Make the scratching post more enticing by sprinkling catnip on it (if your cats like catnip–verify that first, not all cats do). And if the behavior is still a problem, you can curb it by trimming your cat’s claws regularly, or applying Nail Caps to their claws (easy, durable, and harmless, plus you can get them in all sorts of fun colors. Mix and match, or paint your nails to match your kitty’s claws and be manicure buddies!). 

Please do not declaw your cat!!! Cats scratch. That’s a fact. If you cannot handle that fact you should not have a cat. Declawing is the literal amputation of the last joint of their toes. It hurts. It’s traumatic. It takes a long time to heal (longer than most people realize, because cats are really REALLY good at hiding their pain). They don’t understand why it happened. It changes the way they walk, their posture, and can lead to the development of arthritis. It leaves them defenseless, unable to climb to escape or defend themselves easily if they encounter another animal. It is literally being ruled as inhumane in more and more places–because it is. 

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! - haha I tricked you!  Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 

Lazily exposing belly - still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well. Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you. Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it.  I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!

Yes, the legends are true. Cats headbutt you to show their trust and affection. They also do it to show “hey look I see you as family.” Lions do it with members of their pride to say the same. It’s not just because they want food.

Cats nibbling is indeed literally cats grooming you. It’s what mom cats do to their kittens. If a cat is gently biting and/or licking you, they’re now your mom.

Meowing can simply be for the mere fact they want to say hello, want to play or be pet. Again, not just for food.

They barely meow at other cats (except for kittens, they meow at mom cat), mostly just humans. There are exceptions but overall, meowing is almost always for us.

Cats squinting/slow blinking is indeed basically the equivalent of us smiling and/or kissing.

Cats, like humans, prefer to get things without having to work for it- which isn’t very common within other animals.

Cat massages or making biscuits is because they happy! Kneading is another way of saying “hey I like this moment here I enjoy you and my life.”

Cats recognize us by smell, sound, taste, and touch. They recognize us after years as their long term memory is extremely good. This is why abused or neglected cats are so easily scared or hard to connect with. If your scent changes over the years or just in the day, your voice will them it’s really you. Also, they will only remember you if you had impact on their life. If you just existed in the same house, they obviously won’t care.

And yes, they know our patterns in the day. You notice it when it’s beneficial to them (feeding time!). They will often wait for you to come home as well.

To remember: cats think we are interesting as hell. They watch us do everything because we’re fascinating!!!

notice how when you’re unfamiliar but nonthreatening, they might loaf facing you and sorta halfway watch you. you’re not fully trusted, but you’re ok by them.

when you’re familiar and liked, they’ll often sit near you facing the same way. imitation of poses is a weird little way cats show solidarity. they do it to each other too. check out these bff’s:

they are doing this on purpose. it’s a buddy thing. so if you’re watching tv and a cat sits next to you and pretends to watch tv too, they are basically calling you bro and declaring friendship.

and if they really love and trust you, they’ll turn their back on you and go to sleep. they’ll sleep facing a wall in your presence, or lounge where they can’t see the room. this isn’t a snub, folks, this is true kitty love. they’re saying, “i feel safe when you’re around. i know nothing’s going to sneak up on me, because you’re here. i feel so safe i can stick my head under a pillow and snore with my butt pointed at you.”

Pet owners: yeah!!

Me: outdoor cats is just another way to say you neglect your cat and shirk your responsibilities when your cat gets hit by a car, poisoned, infected by parasites or disease, kills songbirds or is killed by predators

Having the ability to go outside allows domestic cats to indulge in natural behaviours which remain in the breed despite domestication (hunting for example) and provides them sensory benefits of a changing and complex environment. The act of hunting has been proven to release endorphins in cats; it’s not about hunger it’s about pleasure. Cats that go outside are also a proven method of pest control. They can also get much more exercise than indoor cats which helps keep them healthier for longer without the need for restrictive diets.

Yes there are risks, but no more risks than there are in letting your teenage child go outside unsupervised. As long as your cat is microchipped, neutered/spayed, vaccinated, and treated for worms/fleas regularly.

What’s irresponsible is letting your cat out into the world to slaughter their way through the native wildlife while exposing them to the dangers posed by the modern world. Cats don’t understand cars, or poison, or dangerous dogs, wildlife or dangerous people. That’s why you find them smeared on the side of the road, or ripped up by the neighbour’s territorial Dobie, or dying of antifreeze poisoning or a venomous animal’s bite. That’s why you get panic cases like the “Croydon Cat Killer”, the loon who was supposedly gutting people’s cats and leaving their heads in the front garden. There was no such thing, it was just foxes catching, dismembering and eating people’s beloved pets.

And I can tell you with absolute certainty that outdoor cats ARE NOWHERE NEAR as healthy as indoor cats. I work at a rescue, and you know the outdoor cats by sight because of how messed up they look. They look like old cats by the time they reach the age of 10, all grizzled up and scarred and scabbed, usually coming in heaving with ticks and fleas. They come in missing digits, missing eyes, with broken teeth and ulcers that haven’t healed and constant infections.

The indoor cats? You know someone was devoted to them. They come in all shiny-coated and bright-eyed, even the ancient old ones that are blind with age. They might be a bit grey round the whiskers, and maybe they’ve picked up an issue or two in their long life, but you wouldn’t know they were old unless you looked for it.

Additionally, many cats actually CAN be trained to walk on a leash. Get a harness that fits them nicely and let them wear it indoors for awhile to get used to it, then take them outside and let them enjoy the outside with you there to protect them! (Harness rather than just a collar because if you need to pick them up or tug them quickly away from danger that will let you do it without risking choking them). 

Like, tips to make it more comfortable for said cat?

Ive got an old 12-14 year old v cuddly v docile furbaby who, to my knowledge, doesnt clean herself at all, or?? Doesnt know how to clean herself at all?? (In the two years ive had her ive never even seen her lick even a front paw) and is generally chill and doesnt freak out in water(tho she meows unhappily)

Since she getting up there in age and fragility, I'm having to be careful. Shes probably in her last year or two so I just wanna make sure shes as comfortable as I can help her be.

Just because you haven’t witnessed her grooming doesn’t mean she doesn’t do it. Unless she’s developed mats in her fur, a scent, or skin irritation of some kind, the evidence would suggest she does clean herself, and if that is the case, then bathing her is actually going to strip her of natural oils that help protect her skin. 

Of course if you’ve already done so, don’t mind me!! :) 

For the bath, use warm water (not hot, but warm) and be very gentle when you lift her in and out of the tub, as being picked up is probably painful for her (which I’m sure you probably knew already, I’m just being an overly-cautious cat lover!). Make sure to be very gentle when you rub her down as well, and make sure you help her dry off so she doesn’t get chilled. 

Here’s an awesome video from Cole and Marmalade that’s a good visual tutorial!