superepicbadluck

Imma start a tag game cuz I’ve never done this before.

I got Neutral Good.

Oh this is fun! I got like right in the corner of lawful good lol

Idk my moral compass is weird and doesn't always point north

ill never get to "experiment" with other boys who make me curious

ill never be seen as a player or a jock

ill never got to parties and play spin the bottle and watch the girls around me get flustered

ill never make other boys confused

ill never have any of that because i grew up a sensitive little girl

ill never have any of that because boys would catcall and abuse me

ill never have any of that because I was a weird outcast

ill never have any of that because instead of going to parties i stay home and get drunk all by myself like a fucking sad idiot because i feel that bad about myself

ill never have that because all boys want from me is photos and once they have those they're satiated

ok so I finally figured out the south park x saw AU here it is

(it's kinda a mix between canon South Park, post covid, and some of my own headcanons. butters is almost entirely based on his victor chaos persona in post covid)

Saw I: The story of two men, photographer Stan Marsh and oncologist Kyle Brovlofski, who wake up chained to pipes in a dingy old bathroom. Meanwhile, a woman named Heidi Turner is found at the scene of a saw trap with scars on her face. Ultimately, Kyle saws his own foot off and manages to escape and Stan is left to die

Saw II: A detective named Pete Thelman must apprehend the Jigsaw Killer to rescue eight people in a rigged house full of nerve gas, including previous victim Heidi Turner, as well as Detective Thelman's close friend Henrietta Biggle.

Saw III: Dr. Bebe Stevens is kidnapped and taken to a warehouse where the Jigsaw Killer- revealed to be Eric Cartman- lays dying. She must keep him alive while fellow victim Clyde Donovan must complete his tasks. However, both are unaware of each other and their respective challenges.

Saw IV: During the autopsy of Eric Cartman, a cassette tape is found inside of him. Meanwhile, SWAT Lieutenant Wendy Testaburger has a growing obsession with the gruesome killer and is stopping at nothing to figure out who he is. However, two FBI agents, siblings Kenny McCormick and Karen McCormick begin to investigate the police as they believe someone may be hiding out on the inside.

Saw V: FBI Agent Kenny McCormick is slowly drawn deeper and deeper into the mystery of Jigsaw, all while police officer Butters Stotch (or his secret Jigsaw identity, Victor Chaos) continues to carry on the legacy of Jigsaw, initiating a life and death cat and mouse game between the two.

Saw VI: We continue to follow Butters as he creates traps as Victor Chaos, specifically targeting Tolkein Black, a rich executive at a company that denied Cartman treatment. Meanwhile, the FBI continues to investigate the suspicious circumstances of Kenny's death. (side note: Kenny is still immortal in this canon he's just lying at home rn)

Saw 3D: Comedian Jimmy Valmer begins to spread the lie that he is a Jigsaw survivor in order to become a bigger celebrity but realizes that lying about this has consequences when Dr. Brovlofski shows up after several years. Meanwhile, Cartman's ex-wife Yentl begins to lead a manhunt for Victor Chaos, seeking vengeance for Cartman.

I'm still deciding what to do with Jigsaw and Saw X respectively as both movies are more origin stories than continuations of the current stories in the series (and god knows I'm not touch spiral with a ten foot pole) so that's about it.

In case you're wondering where Tweek and Craig might be, I decided to have them be pintshipping (Brit Stevenson and Mallick Scott) because those two are genuinely just cute and end up getting a happy ending.