Dead Dreams

just remember, one day you're going to open tumblr and the crabs will be raving like they never have before

We will meet here again on that day. This is my sacred promise to you.

As someone who's had to bake gluten free for several years, watching ppl do shit like this with regular bread feels like literal space age magic to me. Gluten free dough is a consumptive Victorian child who must be coddled and wrapped in silk and prayed over night and day if he stands half a chance of making it to adulthood as anything but a slab of featureless rice mush, and regular bread bakers are out here making whole ass sculptures and quilts and shit. Screw riches and eternal youth, baby, if the devil was real i'd sell my soul in a heartbeat just to be able to rip apart one of these loaves like a feral hog. If you're intestinally capable of digesting gluten I need you to do something for me right now and close your eyes and spend a moment treasuring this fact. and then go and deep-throat a baguette in my honor

Kitty!... long leg kitty!.. uh, creechur?... OUPPY

I WAS NOT FUCKING PREPARED

Shadow flooff

Bringing him back for spooky day

WHAT-

who tf is looking at the foam

some of you bitches deserve a nap and a milkshake tbh

um maybe stfu and accept that u are lovable and life owes u a bagel