hela odinsdottir

“  hm  .  ”  she doesn’t really get that joke  ,  but she’ll let it slide  .  she’s heard a little here and there about mutants  ,  but she didn’t expect them to be so ordinary  .  maybe because she’s too used to asgard  ,  where people flaunt their abilities  (  though most don’t possess anything out of the ordinary  )  .  “  they’d really do all that  ?  good grief  ,  humans really haven’t gotten any better in the last thousand or so years  ,  have they  .  ”  it does sound like he’s catastrophising a little  ,  but she doesn’t know for sure  .  “  what powers do you have  ?  ”  she adds  ,  curiously  .

living with him  ?  oh dear  ,  that’s hardly her area of expertise  .  “  i met my brothers for all of five minutes before we started trying to kill each other  ,  i don’t think i’m the ideal person to turn to for advice  .  ”

if there is one thing hela has noticed about new york, it is that this city is full of spirits  .  it makes sense  ,  she thinks  —  america was built on the back of violence  ,  and in a place full of people with so many different beliefs  ,  the number of souls with no afterlife to head to would naturally be higher  .  “  i didn’t hear it  ,  though that doesn’t always mean anything  ,  ”  hela says  .  “  being as you are  ,  you might be more in tune with any ghosts or lost souls around here  .  ”  she could look more carefully  ,  but  —  well  ,  no dead thing  ,  no matter how malicious  ,  would be stupid enough to try something with hela around  .

“  oh  ,  but they do that anyway  ,  don’t they  ?  ”  she’s not especially familiar with the organisation  ,  but from what she’s seen  ...  well  ,  hela’s never been very pro-establishment  ,  and it’s really not helping matters  .  “  why would you say to kiss you if you were wrong  ,  then  ?  ”

“  it’s the sheer blind stupidity  ,  ”  hela says  .  “  coupled with an unhealthy dose of arrogance  .  ”  she’s thinking of odin at this exact second  .  “  that  ,  or they’ve been told they’re right by so many people all the time that they assume everything they think to be true  .  ”

“  hm  ,  no  .  doesn’t sound right  .  try again  .  ”

“  ooh  ,  knives  .  am i supposed to be impressed  ?  ”

“  cute outfit  ,  where’d you get it  ?  ”  funnily enough  ,  it is a blue moon today  —  though hela’s mood isn’t connected to that  .  they’re just having a good day for once  .  hence initiating a conversation without immediate cause  .  also  —  her outfit is cute  .

at the mention of officers of the law  ,  hela’s face scrunches in disgust  .  “  ew  ,  cops  ?  ”  she pauses to think  ,  though it’s more of an act  ,  having already made her mind up  .  “  i’m guessing that they wanted to arrest you  ,  rather than get an autograph  ?  ”  it’s a rhetorical question  —  the young person does not strike hela as the type to get on the good side of the new york police  .  “  you can stay until they leave  .  or  ,  if you’d prefer  ,  there’s half a dozen different weapons in the drawer to your left  ,  you could always give their chase a more permanent end  ...  don’t worry  ,  nobody would be able to pin it on you  .  ”

“  brave  ,  ”  she comments  .  “  not many mortals are stupid enough to accuse me of  ‘  ruining the vibe  ’  ,  least of all whilst not even holding a weapon to defend themselves with  .  ”  hela is kidding  —  mostly  .  she just wants to see what buttons she needs to push to get the human she’s heard so much about to actually look up  .  it’s rare that she finds someone who isn’t overwhelmed by her presence or at least wary  —  but  ,  well  .  this is the man who went toe-to-toe with thanos  ,  naturally he’s going to be a little less fragile than the rest of his ilk  .  “  for the record  ,  there are no weird tension things going on with me  ,  i think you must be projecting  .  ”

“  i wouldn’t put anything past them  ,  these days  ,  ”  she replies  .  “  though i’d lie to your face sooner than kiss you  .  don’t take it personally  ,  i’m just not into guys  .  ”

“  wow  .  the cloak of levitation has rather awful taste  ,  it seems  .  ”

“  you’re really pessimistic  ,  huh  ...  ”  hela mutters  .  “  what’s the worst that can happen  ,  anyway  ?  ”  maybe she doesn’t quite understand  .  she’s often been called naïve  ,  childish  ;  side effects of having to grow up too fast  ,  of being taught to excel at combat but nothing else  —  social interaction  ,  consequently  ,  is a weakness of hers  .  “  you’ve got to learn to stand up for yourself against those people  ,  then  .  you can’t just  ...  roll over whenever they tell you to  .  ”

“  it seems you came prepared  ,  ”  hela says  ,  raising an eyebrow at how quickly and easily wanda counters her arguments  .  “  unfortunately  ,  you’ve missed a key factor here  :  you are by far the most interesting  .  ”  she shrugs  .  “  it’s not every day i meet someone that odin would be more scared of than he was of me  .  ”

“  to what do i owe the pleasure  ?  ”  she’ll give the intruder a few seconds to explain themselves before she starts trying to kill them  .

hela is all too familiar with prejudiced governments  ,  the catty remarks of odin’s advisors in relation to her parentage inked into her memory  .  suddenly  ,  she understands his trepidation  —  though she herself has no fear of persecution  ,  being capable of defeating even the entire valkyrie corps  ,  she knows that not everyone is so lucky  .  “  hm  ,  yes  ,  that would complicate matters  ,  ”  she says  .  “  i’m not familiar with any of the non-governmental organisations around here  ,  but surely there are some of those that can help  ?  ”