Jupiter Ascending Fans Unite

“My character had had his larynx ripped out by this wolf man, and so I made the slightly bold choice—which I thought was right—of talking like this,” Redmayne says, putting on the breathy, choked affectation he uses throughout the film. He adds that at the time he thought the voice suited the costume and elaborate sci-fi world of the film, but in retrospect can see that it may have been a bit much. “I won a prize for it for the worst performance of the year,” Redmayne adds, referring to his 2016 Razzie award for Worst Supporting Actor. “So, yeah, it was a pretty bad performance by all accounts.”

“My character had had his larynx ripped out by this wolf man, and so I made the slightly bold choice—which I thought was right—of talking like this,” Redmayne says, putting on the breathy, choked affectation he uses throughout the film.

THE ENTITLED WHOSE THROAT CAINE RIPPED OUT WAS BALEM THE WHOLE TIME

so jupiter ascending actually goes hard on the infodumping (which is why I get really annoyed by criticism that it’s hard to follow - if anything, the criticism should be that too much is explained and not enough is left to the audience), but there is one thing that’s never fully resolved (but it’s not plot relevant so it’s not the biggest deal)

anyway, this is what we know about caine:

he was born genetically defective and was sold to the Skyjackers (like, Space Air Force? with rocket boots and angel wings?) by his creator for cheap

he managed to rise to be a great Skyjacker anyway, despite his genetic deficiency

~something~ happened where he ripped the throat out of an Entitled. WHY he did it or WHO the Entitled was is never explained in canon.

he himself has no idea why he randomly went berserk and tried to kill someone, but everyone blamed it on his genetic defects and he believes them

his belief in his own inferiority and inherently violent nature is why he tries to avoid a relationship with jupiter. this is the context for the “I have more in common with a dog than I do with you”/ “I love dogs, I’ve always loved dogs” scene and THAT’S WHY IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE IN THE TEXT, FOLKS

also there’s that whole romantic scene after jupiter becomes an entitled where she’s like “so I’m an entitled now, does that mean you want to bite me?” and caine’s like “uhhh no? ….actually maybe” and she’s like “go ahead ;) ;) ;)”

for this he was stripped of his angel wings and exiled to a hostile prison colony planet until the events of the movie

so the fan theory for a long time was that balem was the entitled who caine attacked, and there’s an extension of that fan theory where one of his siblings - either kalique or titus, probably kalique because she’s way smarter - somehow mind-controlled or otherwise forced caine to attack balem as an assassination attempt, which is why he doesn’t remember why he did it

Every time she comes to my house, she runs to my brother’s room and asks him new questions about space and stars and planets and cosmos.

She doesn’t want to be an astronaut because she says she doesn’t like their suits, she doesn’t want to be an astrophysics because she says she doesn’t know what to do. She wants to work in space. That’s what she says.

Today when she came, I was watching Jupiter Ascending and even though it was in english and she is still learning to read fast, she sat down and watched because it has space.

I explained to her what was happening every time she asked and gave her of my popcorn and listened every time she explained what planet she thought they were in or how a sun works.

When the movie was over, she went downstairs and jumped in front of her mother, saying she knows now what she wants to do when she is older.

She is going to be a space queen like Jupiter Jones and will save Earth.

Thanks for the question! I have no problem with a question like this - you’re being very polite and respectful.

I adore Jupiter Ascending but it certainly has problems, and Jupiter is clearly no Ridley or Sarah Connor. For me, though, that’s almost part of the charm. Jupiter is lethargic and disinterested, and the nature of her upbringing and her financial circumstances mean she has little ambition and no ideas about where she wants her life to go. She’s then drawn into an outrageous space adventure (if you haven’t seen it, Jupiter learns she is the genetic reincarnation of the former queen of the universe - really!) that completely turns her life on its head - she’s overwhelmed and has to either just go with it or have a complete nervous breakdown. She just goes with it and that means she’s rather passive for much of the film, but that - for me - makes it more powerful when she finally does make a stand in the final act and basically decides to sacrifice her life for the sake of Earth. For me, it’s the story of a young woman whose sphere goes from very small and enclosed to vast and all-encompassing. While she’s not an action heroine, she’s principled and good and makes the right choice when push comes to shove. She embodies a very humble kind of bravery that I appreciate.

Beyond Jupiter herself, I love Jupiter Ascending for many reasons. I love the expansive and imaginative world it creates. I love the quasi-Shakespearean interpersonal drama between the millennia-old siblings. I love that so many of the interactions on screen are between women, and that women dominate in Jupiter’s household. I love that it’s shameless girly wish fulfilment, complete with shirtless Channing Tatum roller-blading through the corridors of a palace.

so what do they do with everyone elses money, and if they have so much of it, why did margaery pay anime hair and featherhawk in soylent?

it strongly suggests that credits do represent a soylent standard, and that the abrasaxi run effectively a barter economy, making them kingmakers and power brokers to whom all are indebted for their longevity

which is a good source for simmering resentment and a tiered series of impending rebellions from the bourgeousie down to the proles

wait wait but like Advocate Bob pays off the bureaucrat using credits though!! and he fires a little credit card like thing. So there IS some sort of cash system going on and we just didn’t see very much of it

which begs the question, what do those credits //represent//? is it just an abstraction like dollars, or is it tied to the soylent blue standard, one credit is worth one cc or whatnot of soylent, ala the fremen’s water economy?

probably most people don’t have immortality money, but if you work your whole life and save up to buy a rejuvenation treatment, do you just have to go back to work? margaery is fourteen thousand years old, and her family //makes// the stuff, but is that common? we don’t know how old anyone else in the film is, not the plebs or the grumpy brazil dudes or the rad burnt out space cop

if only the richest of the rich can afford space yachts and people juice, does this mean the abrasax life economy exists as a pyramid on top of the normal capitalist pyramid, a vampire economy preying on the normal robber barons?

if, say, peter weyland and eldon tyrell are putting the lions share of their income - and by extension the labor of all of weyland-yutani and the tyrell corporation - into abrasax industries in exchange for people juice, can anyone else at those companies afford any?

and is that level of royal elitism sustainable, on a millennia long timeline? i had thought sean bean would be drafting jupiter into a rebellion against the system, but apparently most people are fine with it

… Are you telling me…

… Jupiter Ascending…

… Wasn’t crazy?

-space furries -royalty kink -zero gravity orgies -incest -biting kink -Oedipus complex -furry kink -vore kink -bondage -bees? -space scalies

Pointless, plotless Jupiter Ascending ficlet, just to get it out of the way.  Note: angst, low-level torture, sensory deprivation, me doing dreadful things to Caine again, happy ending of course.  

There were times when Caine was certain it had all been a dream.

Balem Abrasax from Jupiter: Ascending 

I LOVE it, unironically my friend! And no, not like Sharknado. I went into the movie expecting nothing, and got EVERYTHING! Here are posts that can better explain why I love Jupiter Ascending! 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  (i’ll be reblogging these shortly)

They were going for a Fifth Element vibe to the universe, and in that I think they succeeded, but the awkward pacing thwarted the film. Yes, it was long, but on my 3 theater viewings (I NEVER view a movie more than twice in theaters usually), it never seemed long enough. It’s not a Serious Film To Be Taken Seriously. It clearly doesn’t claim to be from the get-go. Just like the original Star Wars films aren’t serious. JA is a fun story with a vast, lavish universe–a universe that, unfortunately, came on too strongly to some (pacing!). It’s a space opera for women, and damn, I wanna explore that universe so BAD!!!! You can really tell that this film was a labor of love, down to every rich detail, and that’s something I appreciated on the first watch and continue to appreciate. It’s a film made of pure joy, my friend. 

Honestly though, a lot of the JA hate seems to come from people thinking it should have been super serious gritty sci-fi, just like some people thought Pacific Rim was silly and frivolous–sci-fi isn’t often allowed to just be fun. Especially sci-fi with women leads. 🤔

Happy holidays @alienfromsirius from your Jupiter Ascending secret santa!  I hope you enjoy this poem I wrote for you (be sure to click through the cut for the whole thing).

***

‘Twas the night before Harvest, all quiet and nice Not a creature was stirring, not even a splice Seraphi had tucked in Balem, her dear son Kissed him and promised tomorrow’s great fun

“Harvest Day is such a wonderful time To celebrate life – the extension of mine, And yours my sweet child, for when you have grown You’ll stay ever young; death will be postponed.

"Abrasax RegenX is top of the line. It’s made us our fortune, for all our bloodline. Someday, my son, you’ll be in my place And manage the worlds that preserve our whole race.”