Two of Swords and Nine of Pentacles
You're not in a mood to hear about the lifestyle secrets of people who can afford large private estates.
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@artsandcraps
Two of Swords and Nine of Pentacles
You're not in a mood to hear about the lifestyle secrets of people who can afford large private estates.

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The even more sinister thing about the Heated Rivalry recasting (from fat character to a Black character of average size) is that you know they would never have cast a fat Black man because all the white woman gooners would have called the fucking cops because they saw a Big Bad Black Man on their yaoi fetish show.
I said from the beginning that this shit was fetish material for and by straight women; I don't care if they got a gay director; the source material was goddamn rotten to the motherfucking core.
I'll tell you what, if Jim Gaffigan ever did a Q&A, they'd have to stuff a rag in my mouth because my question would be, "Now, Jim, in one of your stand-ups, you say that having a fifth child is like drowning and having someone hand you a baby. My question is, how the fuck would you know when you didn't raise any of them?"
Then, as they'd drag me away, probably in a straitjacket, *definitely* with about seven pending restraining orders, I'd scream, "How do you feel, knowing that the mental load you made your wife carry was so overwhelming that she didn't realize she had a brain tumor until *a pediatrician pointed out her hearing loss at her child's appointment*?"
Edit: I just realized that his wife writes a lot of his material, and that was probably her joke. Oh my god.
what the fuck do you mean, "we can always tell"? I can't even tell if it's a male or female voice on like eight of my favorite songs
what the fuck was everyone freaking out about why they called Lindsey Graham "Ladybug"? He just had fucking moles on his ass. Who gives a fuck? I thought it was some scat play shit. No disrespect if you're into that, I just thought from everybody's reactions that it was some extreme sex shit (literally). jesus h.

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I swear the sexualization and objectification of actually effective politicians is a psyop.
Zohran Mamdani balanced NYC's budget, laid out plans for municipal grocery stores, and implemented a pied-a-tierre tax; but ooh so handsome and haha he always wears a suit.
Jon Ossoff is one of the only people in Congress who is cutting through fascist bullshitting, yet the discourse is "ooh slutty little glasses", "Senator My Boo", and comparisons to Gregory Peck in To Kill A Mockingbird. No. Let's hear more about his close relationship with the late John "Good Trouble" Lewis and how that informs his politics. Let's talk about how he's actually damn showing up for the constituents of Georgia, especially Black voters, who undergo consistent voter disenfranchisement to this day.
I hope for a brighter future, but stupid shit like this makes me lose a little hope that we're actually going to make any meaningful change.
Holy god and fuck I am SO fucking tired of "haha JD Vance fucked a couch". Can we just talk about how he's an absolute fucking disaster of a human being? The embodiment of a Chuck. E. Cheese that serves pizza directly into the ball pit? Thank you for your attention to this matter.
I love Jakob Dylan's voice. I haven't heard much of his discography but I've listened to Studebaker from the Warren Zevon tribute album Enjoy Every Sandwich, where Jakob contributes backup vocals for Warren's son Jordan, approximately 75,000 times. I think Jakob's voice is like Warren Zevon's on the Transverse City album, only rounder/smoother and with a little more twang, with a little Bob Seger punch to it.
gilbert blythe can eat my entire ass. anybody read Anne of Ingleside where she's realized he's straight up just ignored her for like months on end (because he was stressed about an experimental treatment he pushed for on a patient and didn't have the brain to tell his own goddamn wife)? and they go to a dinner with his old flame Christine and he talks to her the entire time about their old memories (at one point she asks him if he remembers something in particular and he says "do you suppose I could forget it"), and they go on an intimate little walk together and end up sitting at a bench and talking and talking?
AND THEN finally he gets the letter that his patient is better and he's all smiles and happy and anne-girl and says "I didn't think you needed words to know [that I love you]". And then he's like "ew lol Christine's face is hard now and she looks ten years older than you and she got fat. I'm so glad you haven't gotten fat ". I'm quoting almost verbatim. what a fucking loser lmao.
I fucking hated Gilbert Blythe from the moment he pulled her hair and called her carrots. I would have beaten his ass, not spent years writing moony lover letters to him like a fucking loser.
tom petty is so fucking sexy

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@unhelpfultarot a snack for you. Which would you eat first?
I would start with Temperance, to gain the power of combining several different opposing ingredients into a balanced meal.
Threads is like a combination of "who can be the biggest bully" and "who can be the smuggest virtue-signaler"
As someone who's been baking for twenty years, I love when fucking idiots think "ooh American desserts are way too sweet. I, an Enlightened Individual, shall cut the sugar in half" and then the recipe turns out a total disaster because surprise! Sugar is a structural component.
Gen Z gets a lot of shit for calling attention to age gaps, but I think it's justifiable. If anything, I think it's a normal overcorrection to what we know now about the behavior of people of our parents' and grandparents' generation.
People excuse Elvis when he "dated" 16-year-old Priscilla Presley. "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis was in a recent movie when he married his 13-year-old cousin. A shit ton of 70s rockers have sexual assault allegations, often from people who were minors at the time. Steven Tyler. Mick Jagger. David Bowie. Someone on the Golden Bachelor was raped by Frankie Valli at sixteen, and he'd known her when she was six. Kid "If There's Grass On The Field, Play Ball" Rock. Kid "You Say It's Statutory, I Say It's Mandatory" Rock.
The culture of sexualizing very, very young girls in media. Brooke Shields at 12. Alicia Silverstone at 17. Phoebe Cates, when she was 17 and 19. Have you ever seen that photo of the day they filmed the scene where she flashes one of the characters in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and the set is CHOKED with men trying to ogle a 19-year-old girl's breasts?
We saw people villainizing Courtney Stoddard for being the victim of a predator at 17. We saw the "countdowns to 18" for Emma Watson and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Grown men our fathers' ages slavering over girls who could be our sisters.
So before you join the throng calling Gen Z "puritanical" and "weird about age gaps", maybe think about the culture that caused it.
any fellow mentally ills want to predict the next clinical term that people are going to bastardize and ruin? As someone with PTSD, I wish they didn't take "triggered" from us😫

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My mom and dad were so abusive that every time I hear about someone else's parent dying, I react like I didn't get a raffle prize I really wanted.
Another one of my friends just lost their beloved parent and I acted like those people in 90s sitcoms who get upset and stressed that they're going to be the last friend who gets married.
I'm jumping in on my knockoff Substack re the influencer couple who had an abortion for a fetus with Downs Syndrome.
I'm glad they had the option to make the decision that was right for them, and to quote atheist activist Promise Backlund, "I don't care if it's a full-term baby or a grown ass man. No one has the right to my body without my consent". I'm also glad they shared it because it helps destigmatize this and opens a dialogue.
I'm a disabled person. My disabilities are invisible, and more saliently, largely unfetishizable and unexploitable for masturbatory virtue-signalling Facebook posts. No one is calling me "such a joy" or "the light of my life". I am unable to access support outside of my communities and I experience job discrimination because my disabilities are heavily stigmatized. They call my people evil; they use my disability as an insult; they imply that my people shouldn't exist.
I think people view persons with disabilities like they view puppies or kittens. Everyone wants the perfectly "cute" person with Downs Syndrome who Always Smiles And Is So Happy. Well, guess what? People are legally allowed to pay your perfect little prop sub-minimum wage because of their disability. Disabled people don't have marriage equality, as they lose their government benefits due to the change in income.
You don't want to be there for the ugly stuff. God forbid you're there for the day-to-day. You brag about your goodness on Facebook while their caregivers drown in 24/7 care, burnout, endless doctor visits, medical emergencies, worries about what will happen to them if their caregivers pass, and a long, long list of other issues that pop up. You don't fight for their right to exist in society. You don't fight for universal healthcare and the bolstering of professional caregivers and facilities and easy, no-cost access to them. You don't fight for marriage equality. You don't give a damn beyond seeing their Cute Lil Smiles.
So shut the fuck up.