#mental load

💙 Any guy can be babygirl, but it takes a man to be a wife 👠

And Fives is not only a wife, he's the most perfect trad wife you would ever have longed and feared! ❤️‍🔥 As I drew him, he insisted on keeping pauldrons, gear belt, kama and heels for... efficiency. Hehe 😎

For all the cheese socks out there, THIS is the picture of stable masculinity 😎 And guess what, I'm a woman who likes men with leather, boots and beard as well as men with mascara, nails and heels and we're many 😽✨

The sparkling credits for the inspiration to draw this piece go with a lot of love to @bunny7567 🫶 You got me cackling again with your awesome clone trooper memes! 🤩

Have a close up on the diva wife husband material of the GAR 🪭

If the Kaminoans chose Jango Fett also to defang all the weak fleshed enemies more easily? Smart move. Mean.

Taglist: @lezz-agna @returnofthepineapple @sunshinesdaydream @vrycurious @chaicilatte @ladylucksrogue @freesia-writes @bittybug-sunflower-blog @littlebitofeverything-lass @thecoffeelorian

My Chaos vode💥 @sabaccsniper @lonewolflupe Get your man! 💙 @wings-and-beskargam @eclec-tech

SOURCE: the guardian “I admit I may have rewatched it more than once,” she said. “It’s super sexy. They’re fabulous to look at. There’s a huge amount of consent. I’d really like to get that back in my life – that feeling of ‘I can’t keep my hands off you.’”

------ While watching for the first time, I immediately clocked the wealth part as something soooooo relaxing.

So dreamy and idealistic, this is what normal life is lacking a lot...

Does that sounds like the bar is in hell? Well...

Just my opinion and observations:

1. Being and/or living with cis het men in hetero presenting relationships as a woman and they let you do all or at least most of that work is so endlessly exhausting.

2. And many opt out and choose not to join households and are happier for it. Especially the neurodivergent folks I know.

3. This struggle is a constant topic in friendships or for therapy.

4. Mix chronic or mental illness into it and you might be better off alone… to feel good, relaxed, desired, calm, inspired, whatever, you would need a lot of things removed.

5. Romance between two men seems like escapism. I am fine with that.

All of the struggle outside and inside does one thing: it kills the vibes, iykyk!

This, this does not:

“It’s extra fun and escapist for me to watch a relationship that is hard to possibly project myself into,” said Annie Vought, a 34-year-old bisexual woman from Seattle. “There is zero room for me personally to be like, ‘Wish that was me.’ I’m just like, ‘Get it, boys!’” ----------------

Same! And I like this term from the article a lot:

"imaginary space free of gendered hierarchy"

------- I used to read lesbian romances when I was a young queer woman and I would have to agree, at least the ones I got my hands on, the patriarchy always got to the protagonists in one way or another.

Two men benefit from patriarchy while also being exploited due to it partially. I am aware of that.

Doesn't ruin the fun for me, they are superstars, super wealthy, IT IS A FANTASY, through and through.

Let me have it. 😇 Life sucks enough all the rest of the time... ------

“What do we need from the store?” We NEED laundry soap and milk. Other than that, get food for the week

Comes home from the store with cans of speghetti (ready for the microwave. Quick simple lunch meals while kids are on the go. I get it. Kids love them!) and ground beef, speghetti noodles and speghetti sauce

🤔Do you expect them to have speghetti for lunch and dinner all week?

“I don’t know what they like and you didn’t tell me! It’s your fault. You should have been specific”

Well, they are of talking age. You could have simply asked him what him and his siblings would eat while you took them out with you.

You know what they eat and like on weekends when you are home. So how do you not know what they would eat when you are not home?

Or do you simply think we just don’t eat at all…

Now everyday I make sure they eat their dinner before he is home as his schedule is unpredictable so maybe it’s my job and I should do the shopping..

But you would still think you would know what your children will and will not eat.

You are not gone for weeks or months at a time. You are home every single evening. Every single weekend and occasional days off and you’re telling me you have no idea what food the house will be happy with?

Some years ago, I had gotten a part time job.  I’d commented to my husband that I could be a full-time homemaker or I could have a job and do some homemaking stuff, but not all of it on my day off.

Since I had written a notebook that outlined chores and routines and what was needed quite clearly, the transition to making sure Stuff Got Done was easy – especially because we also decided that we’d own the document together and discuss changes as Life Changes happened.

All well and good.

Today, as I was bringing home groceries, my husband was looking at the notebook to see what detail cleaning stuff was scheduled for the week.  I realized something:

Many parts of the detail cleaning had become invisible to me.

Not out of malice, not out of laziness, but because he works from home and I don’t, he was doing a lot of these things on breaks or while thinking out a problem.  I had not once looked at the schedule for this week. If I had, I would have noticed something else – I needed to wipe down the fridge before I got the groceries. 

I’m proud of myself for not asking why in hell my husband hadn’t wiped down the fridge before grocery time. I also admit that a few years ago, if I’d kept my mouth shut, it would have been a narrow miss.

I say this to point out how easy it is for work you don’t currently do or keep track if can become invisible.  It can Just Happen and you don’t think much about it. 

The takeaway?

Look for structural work being done.  Do you walk into an office and only think about the cleaners when something is missed?  Do you only notice a bridge when construction work makes you late? 

I’m not saying this to accuse.  It’s perfectly natural to fall into the habit of seamless things not being noticed. 

What I am saying is:  Try to make a practice of noticing!

In my house?  The kitchen counters are regularly clean and the dish drainer never has anything gungy and no, I wasn’t thinking about it.  That’s just the way the kitchen looks.

But it looked that way because my husband was following a cleaning schedule I’d initially written five years ago and… I forgot it.  Because I wasn’t the one doing it.

Universe: *hits me with the Eldest Child/daughter beam*

Not every problem is yours to carry, and not every person is yours to save.

Your energy is sacred, your boundaries are valid, and protecting your peace is not selfish—it's essential.