anyways

Driving a car is like microdosing zombie apocalypse. Whenever you see something human-shaped walking around, you have to keep an eye on it because sometimes it's a survivor who has made it this far by being sharp enough to anticipate potential risks and know how to stay out of harm's way, and sometimes it's a two-legged walking lump of meat with zero concept of self-preservation.

The entire range of human skin tones varies from so pale white that it's almost kind of blue, to so deep black that it's almost kind of blue, and I think that's beautiful. Do you love the colour of the guy.

badminton is dont hit the fucking ground you stupid disgusting baby bird

Hockey is I’m gonna launch this peppermint patty at you and the only way to stop me is violence

curling is my two friends and i really want to put a watermelon in that exact spot, but the floor disagrees

relay racing is "here, you take this leek"

Wait WHAT?? Our heart is mostly a flat strap of muscle curled up in a knot?? It can be unrolled and straightened out!!????

Missouri shares it's two major cities with neighboring states because Missouri loves company.

I've always thought Margarita would be a beautiful name for a little girl

And her beautiful sister Cosmopolitan

Rum & The Eyeless One

We have always been human.

@onenicebugperday

"Mmm bug. Hey the floor is more papery today and the walls are gone. But more important, mmm bug."