can i come over and stare at you for hours while you get slightly weirded out
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@artificialgingersnap
can i come over and stare at you for hours while you get slightly weirded out

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ngl I miss having anons crushing on me...where did u guys go
The Forgotten Dialect of the Heart
by Jack Gilbert
How astonishing it is that language can almost mean, and frightening that it does not quite. Love, we say, God, we say, Rome and Michiko, we write, and the words get it all wrong. We say bread and it means according to which nation. French has no word for home, and we have no word for strict pleasure. A people in northern India is dying out because their ancient tongue has no words for endearment. I dream of lost vocabularies that might express some of what we no longer can. Maybe the Etruscan texts would finally explain why the couples on their tombs are smiling. And maybe not. When the thousands of mysterious Sumerian tablets were translated, they seemed to be business records. But what if they are poems or psalms? My joy is the same as twelve Ethiopian goats standing silent in the morning light. O Lord, thou art slabs of salt and ingots of copper, as grand as ripe barley lithe under the wind’s labor. Her breasts are six white oxen loaded with bolts of long-fibered Egyptian cotton. My love is a hundred pitchers of honey. Shiploads of thuya are what my body wants to say to your body. Giraffes are this desire in the dark. Perhaps the spiral Minoan script is not language but a map. What we feel most has no name but amber, archers, cinnamon, horses, and birds.
Ain’t nothing wrong with eating some bread dipped in olive oil, balsamic vinegar and various herbs

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??? someone broke into my grandmas house while she was gone & shaved the matted fur off her cat
i want to emphasize that the cat was the only thing altered here
would also like to add that this occcurred sometime between 11 pm & 9 am. we have no leads. the cat is fine & probably appreciates not having a huge mat on his neck, but, like, that’s a really weird kind of vigilante justice, still
chaotic good
my gf REFUSES to squeeze her titties together so i can swipe a debit card through her cleavage like a card reader so romance is dead i guess
We’ve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!
Because it’s important to celebrate the little victories in life.
Beats the 4/20 memes.

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nobody:
common house spider: can i die of malnutrition in your bedroom please?
Just reminding you all that this is the best scene in cinematic history.

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someone on r/legaladvice was sick of their coworker stealing their food out of the fridge so they started labeling it “POISON - DO NOT EAT” in sharpie on both the bag and the food’s wrapper every day and the person still kept stealing it so after a week they added a bunch of laxatives to their food and the thief had to go to the hospital and could possibly sue OP. the general consensus was that OP was technically objectively in the wrong from a legal standpoint but there is 0% chance of them being convicted in criminal court because that would require finding 12 jurors who would rule in favor of someone stealing food labeled “POISON - DO NOT EAT” and then getting poisoned
That’s the life