cami

I like control, I love a routine, I try to make sure at least 90% of my steps carry meaning, even me thinking theres certain requirements for a passion might still be me living in a rigid box. I often feel like an actress, like someone or something is watching me, yet I don’t know who I’m performing for what I am so scared for people to find out about me, but oddly enough it’s kind of nice feeling like an actress sometimes, I’m the only one who knows what drives me, what makes me want to be better, what makes me lose control and give into spontaneity, the downside to all of this though, is I don’t fully know either. I’ve yet to fully figure out what makes my heart beat and my soul yearn for more, but that confusion and lack of understanding for who I am is comforting, while others may try to figure out my image, I’m able to figure out my soul, i like knowing both parties will never fully understand me, never be able to fully figure it out, it keeps life interesting.

Something ive learned to discover about myself is that my passion isn’t necessarily a hobby or something physical but rather a feeling of discovery, knowledge , & understanding and how those feelings can morph and be created into some many different things, at least for now that’s exactly what makes my heart flutter.