I think I’ve seen this film before

Like now, for instance- as you stand at the corner of a bustling street somewhere in the depths of Seoul, waiting as a kind-faced street vendor to prepares your tteokbokki. Around you, the world spares no time for anyone. People brush past as they go about their afternoons, hoping to get home before the first snow fall of the year. It’s only the beginning of December, yet the weather forecasts predict light snow in the city any day now.

Like now, for instance- as you stand at the corner of a bustling street somewhere in the depths of Seoul, waiting as a kind-faced street vendor to prepares your tteokbokki. Around you, the world spares no time for anyone. People brush past as they go about their afternoons, hoping to get home before the first snow fall of the year. It’s only the beginning of December, yet the weather forecasts predict light snow in the city any day now.

Like now, for instance- as you stand at the corner of a bustling street somewhere in the depths of Seoul, waiting as a kind-faced street vendor to prepares your tteokbokki. Around you, the world spares no time for anyone. People brush past as they go about their afternoons, hoping to get home before the first snow fall of the year. It’s only the beginning of December, yet the weather forecasts predict light snow in the city any day now.

If anyone was excited for it, it was you.

Standing where you are, with the inviting smell of food wafting towards you as you watch couples interlocking hands and children tug their coats on a little tighter, you’re reminded of what winter was like as a little girl in your hometown. Sitting cross legged by the fireplace with a mug of warm milk and gazing out of the window, where white begins to dust the fence in your yard. You always loved the snow, especially when you had your best friend with you to play in it.

-

‘Y/n, get away from the window and drink your milk please’.

Your mom looks at you in exasperation as you turn to her with pleading eyes. You’d been told countless times to sit down, but her words hardly registered in your mind.

‘Mom please PLEASE, just five minutes? I want to play now before the snow goes away!’.

‘That’s not how snow works, dummy. Sit down, you’re splashing milk on my sweater.’

‘I do too.’ God, you think to yourself, does he always have to be so snooty?

‘Fine. Wanna have a competition?’

‘Sure, why not? It’s not like you’re going to win’.

Doyoung lifts his empty mug in the air as if to show off, rushing to place it in the sink. When your mom ruffles his hair in praise and turns back to the oven, he sticks his tongue out at you. Then, to go the extra mile, he wiggles his fingers on his nose. You’re positively fuming, determined to wipe the smugness off his face.

Which is how you end up in your back garden only ten minutes later, wrapped up warm in your padded coats and woolly scarves. The two of you don matching hats, pink and orange with bear ears that Doyoung’s mom had bought last Christmas. You stand across him in the middle of the yard where the snow has piled up most, as if you’re about to win a fight (which in your eyes, you technically are).

Doyoung’s eyes glint, a cheeky smile spreading across his face that has you scrunching your nose. He may be your best friend, the nerdy boy next door who’s attached to your hip, but right now he’s your enemy; and you’re about to take him down with your epic sculpting skills.

‘Ready, set, GO!!’

Only thirty minutes has passed when the two of you collapse on the ground, out of breath as if you’d just run a marathon instead of building snowmen. The snow has almost slowed to a stop by now, and what’s left of it in your garden has turned brown and muddy from your footprints that litter the ground. Your nose is red and your ears are positively frozen, but none of that matters. Besides you Doyoung sniffles and then huffs as you use his shoulder to push yourself up.

‘I think.. I think we should call it a draw’ You chew your lip as you look between the two snowmen or rather, Doyoung’s snowman and your sad excuse of a pile of snow. Perhaps you’d overestimated yourself. Your comment makes Doyoung shoot up from where he’d been becoming one with the ground next to you, moving forward to shove his finger in your face in protest.

‘Nuh uh! I clearly won. Yours isn’t even standing up. Look, the nose is falling already!’ You can’t help but stare in defeat as the carrot you’d snatched from the kitchen slides slowly down the side of your snowman’s face before plopping to the ground. It’s really quite a sorry sight. In your defence, it honestly wasn’t a fair game. Doyoung’s snow had to have been different to yours, since yours kept melting in your hands.

As you try to think of another excuse of how you should definitely just call it a draw so you won’t have to admit you sucked, you hear a menacing giggle from behind you. A beat too late, you turn around just as Doyoung launches a tiny, dirt filled snowball right at your nose. For a moment you can only huff in disbelief, feeling whatever warmth was left in your face disappear from your body. Across you, Doyoung presses a hand to his mouth to suppress his laughter only to fail and flop to the ground in giggles. He thinks he’s won, of course. You wipe the snow off your face and flash him the evilest grin you can muster.

‘Oh it is SO on.’

-

You chuckle softly to yourself as you recall the remainder of that day. After another hour of screaming and chasing each other around the yard the two of you had ended up huddled around the fireplace trying not to look as though you’d succumbed to the cold. You still remember quite fondly, how the very next day neither of you could get out of bed. It’s safe to say your mom was VERY annoyed- yet not at all surprised. Your thoughts linger on Doyoung for a moment longer, but you’re shaken out of your reverie by a sweet voice.

‘Here’s your tteokbeokki dear, eat well!’ You smile warmly at the old lady, gratefully accepting the white polystyrene box and moving to the side. You consider finding a bench somewhere to eat but when you look around and find the streets getting busier by the second, decide to head on home instead.

By the time you reach you apartment the weather has turned so frosty that if you look down at your feet and realis some of your toes had gone missing, you’re positive you’d hardly feel a difference. Still, the bitter coldness of the outside air only makes the warmth of your home more inviting. Flicking the lights on as you come inside, you're thankful for turning the heating on before leaving earlier. The heat of the apartment wraps you in an embrace, tugging you away from the frost. Soft orange hues spill out over your front room, cozy and inviting in contrast to outside.

You’re just placing the now-cold tteokbeokki into a bowl to heat up when your cat makes himself known in your presence, sneaking up from behind you to curl around your ankles.

‘Milo, you wanna share with me?’ You say teasingly, looking down at the black mop of fur nestled between your feet. He stares up at you with a look that can only be translated to ‘you think I won’t snatch the bowl out of your hands? Try me’. Despite this he moves out of your way when you shift to take your meal into the living room.

It’s evenings like this that you like the most. Calm ones, when you have a sliver of time to yourself; to sit on the couch in front of the tv, relaxing as you eat or watch the city view from your window. It’s even better in the winter because the apartment is toasty, and you have the luxury of watching snow fall outside whilst you snuggle up with a blanket and occasionally Milo in your lap- he’s not much of a cuddler. There’s beauty you think, in being able to sit back and exist purely as an observer, appreciating everything in the comfort of your own zone.

The silence is what you crave- so why does it feel like something is missing?

You heave a deep sigh as you shovel the rest of your food into your mouth, not bothering to acknowledge the way Milo stares at you in disgust.

Although it’s hard to admit aloud, you can’t deny that you’re quite lonely. You screw your eyes shut at the thought, feeling a tinge of sadness in your chest. Moving away from your hometown to the city to study hadn’t been easy, especially for someone as easily emotionally attached as you. But you’d like to think you’ve done well for yourself; you’ve started to go out more with the people you’ve met in the time you’ve spent here and have grown close to a handful of people who you’ve made valuable memories with. You may have a decent social life and enough things in the city to entice you but still, there’s a hole in your heart that yearns to be filled. One that perhaps only a certain person could fill, but you shake away the thought of that now.

Doyoung may have been your best friend back home, but life and time had drifted you apart. Fate had separate paths for two of you, because while you decided to continue to university after school, Doyoung decided to chase his own dreams- and his dreams were worlds apart from yours. Maybe it still hurt that your friendship hadn’t been strong enough to keep you together despite your different ambitions, but you can only hope the best for him, wherever he may be now. It's past time for you to move on.

At first he had been nothing short of thrilled at the prospect of coming to America- or more importantly, the chance to visit his home city Vancouver. He smiles fondly when he remembers introducing the members to his family and childhood friends, feeling as though both his worlds had finally united in the best way possible.

At first he had been nothing short of thrilled at the prospect of coming to America- or more importantly, the chance to visit his home city Vancouver. He smiles fondly when he remembers introducing the members to his family and childhood friends, feeling as though both his worlds had finally united in the best way possible.

At first he had been nothing short of thrilled at the prospect of coming to America- or more importantly, the chance to visit his home city Vancouver. He smiles fondly when he remembers introducing the members to his family and childhood friends, feeling as though both his worlds had finally united in the best way possible.

Once on board, he takes his seat next to Ten, who smiles warmly at him before slipping on a pair of fluffy earmuffs. ‘You gonna go back to sleep?’ He asks as he settles comfortably in his seat. Mark shakes his head, ‘I think I’m gonna kill some time first, hyung. Watch a movie or something’

‘Wake me if you need anything, okay?’ He nods in response, then turns to his screen as Ten closes his eyes and rests his head against his travel pillow.

He makes it half way through a thriller kdrama that had come out recently before he gives up and switches off the screen. Somehow he feels calm and jittery at the same time, as if he’d just downed one of Jaemin’s Starbucks venti iced Americanos. Maybe it’s because he feels relieved that he’ll no longer have to share beds with Taemin (who has an infernal tendency to throw his limbs every which way in his sleep), but Mark really can’t wait to be home. He’s started to miss the ever changing, bustling streets of Seoul- or more specifically the hectic life at the 127 dorms.

He thinks back to the view he sees every morning from his shared room, overlooking the Han river. And spring is just around the corner, meaning there’ll be a litter of pink blossom trees lining the streets of the city very soon. bc

A sweet memory appears in his mind, of Donghyuck bursting into his room last year and forcing him to wake up at 7 in the morning.

‘Mark. Mark. Mark lee. Lee minhyung. Makkeuri. No jam 2-‘

‘Maybe if I stop breathing he’ll think I’m dead and leave me alone or something’ Mark thinks to himself, resisting the urge to kick Donghyuck onto the floor. He stays quiet, vainly hoping Donghyuck will give up and leave.

‘Mork bee. Watermelon boy. Seagull eyebrows-‘

Never mind. Clearly he’ll have to add homicide to his morning routine.

Mark opens his eyes begrudgingly, glaring straight into Donghyuck’s own eyes which are now inches away from his face.

‘Get up, get dressed, and sort out that god awful mop on your head that you call hair.’ He says, a mischievous grin plastered on his face. He retreats a little further down the bed as Mark sits up, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

‘It’s 7 am, hyuck. What the hell do you want to d-‘

‘Ah ah ah- no questions markly. Hurry up, I’ll be waiting by the door in twenty minutes’. With that, he scrambles off the bed and skips off down the hallway giving Mark no chance to protest.

He sits there for a few minutes, contemplating if he should just go back to bed, then decides it’ll take him far too long to fall asleep now anyway. Groaning out loud he throws off the covers and makes his way into the bathroom, cursing Donghyuck the entire time.

True to his word, when Mark emerges from his room around twenty minutes later the younger boy is stood at the door, tapping his feet impatiently against the worn carpet. When he sees Mark he gives him a once over, and the latter can just SEE him wondering if he should insult his outfit or not. He decides against it clearly, as he wordlessly takes Mark’s hand and pulls him down the corridor and into the lift.

‘We’ll grab breakfast on the way Mark, don’t look so grouchy’.

He rolls his eyes and slumps against the wall. ‘On the way to WHERE hyuck? It’s a Saturday, everything will still be closed’ Donghyuck’s eyes shine knowingly as he flashes Mark a grin.

‘Not everything, just trust me’ Mark heaves a sigh (which he does quite a lot when Donghyuck is around), and closes his mouth, opting to simply let hyuck lead him along.

Donghyuck ends up dragging him to Yeouido Hangang Park, and true to his word they stop at a cosy little cafe tucked into the corner of a street on the way. He seems to come here often, visible in the way he knows exactly what to order for the two of them. Newly caffeinated and munching on a freshly baked muffin, Mark perks up a little as he continues to follow Donghyuck towards the park.

He can’t help but wonder why exactly he seems so adamant on coming out here, especially when they could be enjoying their weekend sleeping instead. His questions are answered when Donghyuck begins to tug his arm a little more persistently, forcing the older boys attention onto him.

‘Look up, Mark. Look around you’ he says, excitement lacing his tone. Mark tilts his head upwards, breath hitching a little in awe. Here, in the middle of the path that Donghyuck had stopped them on, the pair are surrounded by cherry blossom trees, tall and thriving in vigor.

‘Isn’t it pretty?’ He turns in the direction of Donghyuck’s voice, but the latter isn’t paying any actual attention to him. His brown doe eyes swirl with something deeper than fascination at the pink petals raining down around him. Mark finds himself mirroring the expression, although he’s captivated more by the boy beside him than the blossom trees. His heart swells as Donghyuck lets out a soft giggle when he finally looks at Mark and sees the petals that have nested in his unkempt hair.

In that moment, as the two of them stand alone in the sea of pastel pink that blankets them, Mark decides he doesn’t hate that he had to leave the comfort of his bed anymore.

Perhaps he’d never hated it at all.

Mark find himself drifting off like that, a mirage of rosy petals and honey brown eyes coaxing him into deep slumber.

When he wakes once again, it’s to the familiar chime of the announcement bell, informing him of their arrival at Incheon airport. For a moment he screws his eyes shut again and tries to shake away the sleep as he feels Ten slowly rouse next to him. He looks out the window and sees the airport sign outside, welcoming him back. He helps Ten collect their things as the group start to leave the plane, fatigue slightly dampening each of the members’ enthusiasm to finally be on Korean land.

Their manager guides them to their van, urging them in as the brisk morning breeze of the city bites at their tired bodies. Around him, Mark can feel the members slowly come around- they must’ve all just woken up too. Lucas smiles tiredly at him from across the van, then settles comfortably against Baekhyun’s shoulder, ready to take yet another nap. Mark wills himself to sit up a little straighter, wanting to stay awake and find his bearings before they arrive at the dorms.

He leans his head against the window as they start to pass familiar scenery, the city coming to life as the sun climbs its way out from behind the mountain tops in the distance. Hues of amber and marigold spill across the land, announcing the arrival of a new day. Just like he’d anticipated, budding blossom trees line the streets, a blur of white and pink as they pass by. Mark takes the time to enjoy the sight of nature rejuvenating the city with an aura of bliss. It isn't long before the calm and scenic roads transition into the full blown morning hubbub of Seoul in its waking hours.

As they approach the streets leading the dorms Mark begins to grow a tad bit impatient; because he knows who will be waiting for him. He always is, and today is no different. Though Donghyuck doesn’t exactly stand outside waving around a huge glittery sign that reads ‘welcome home!’, Mark can immediately sense that the younger has been up bright and early when he sees him by the door.

He pretends not to be aware of how hyuck tries to act nonchalant about their arrival, but doesn’t miss the way the corners of his mouth tilt upwards slightly when he spots Mark clambering out of the van. He knows deep down that the bored expression Donghyuck greets him with slips away when Mark slumps against his shoulders in a warm hug. In the same way, he doesn’t need to say much either. Donghyuck feels the tension in Mark’s limbs begin to slowly melt when the familiar scent of the brunette’s lavender soap envelops him.

Mark lets Donghyuck pull him upstairs to the room he shares with Johnny, who they pass in the hallway- the taller boy claps Mark on the back affectionately before making his way down to greet the others. Once inside he drops his bags at the door and falls unceremoniously into the centre in Donghyuck’s unmade bed. He waits for the latter to join him, humming in warm satisfaction when hyuck tangles their limbs together under the thick blanket.

As the younger boy shuffles about to find a comfortable position, Mark turns his head slightly to gaze out the window. The sun is still making its way into the sky, rays of light spilling through the half drawn blinds to coat them in a warm ambience. He shivers when Donghyuck’s breath fans across his neck when he parts his lips to speak.

‘The blossom trees are starting to bloom again y’know’. Mark exhales slightly. ‘Mmh’ is all he says in response. He’s sure they’re both thinking the same thing.

A comforting silence washes over them, and for the first time in a while Mark allows himself to relax, a hearty sigh of contentment leaving him as he shuffles further in the blanket. Jet lag begins to claim him, but he doesn’t mind. He knows how this goes.