all or nothing; @arteriuss - Tumblr Blog

oooh I get it it’s always gonna be because of the environment I grew up in

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homunculus-argument

"Problematic height gap" was a concept made up by people who have never seen the kind of short people who go out to interact with the public. Those fucking gnomes fear nothing. If they're at the exact right height to bite you in the nuts, they will.

And insanely tall people come in two categories: If they're merely tall, and not large, they're just skittish fragile giraffes. The most dangerous thing they can do to you is stand up too fast, faint because their blood pressure dropped, and hit you on the way down like a felled tree.

The tall people who are also large are mostly chill in my experience. Sure some of them must be assholes just out of statistical inevitability, but it takes some edge out of life knowing that someone could try to hit you with a tank and all they're going to find out is whether or not a Leopard 2A7 has a crumple zone. And most importantly they are never tactically prepared for getting bit in the nuts.

redstonedust

i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.

ryebreadgf

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

thatbuddie

“omg why is no one talking about—”

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redstonedust

being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.

being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.

themysteriousmurasamecastle

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

wieniawskis

i was supposed to be practicing his face but the practice ended up… being the real thing?? 😭

innerchildabortionclinic

just saw the phrase "abortionable amount of weeks pregnant"

killuazedykee

pankendev

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

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boringkate

When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.

c4f3rzb

hatchet leon :p

first time posting on here im kinda nervous 🫠🫠🫠

evidently-endless

being offered ai at every turn

monkeywiki

28 year old tumblr users will look at you and say do you remember thwomp day of 2013 when everyone was posting thwomp from mario 64 in different audio

dykecinema

there should be a jesus on the cross emoji. not for any religious reasons. just so I can use it for every slight inconvenience.

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bucketofcrows

first base is ripping each other's throats out second base is fucking and then pretending it didn't happen after it's over. third base is falling unconscious from blood loss in the other's arms

bucketofcrows

fourth base is talking about your feelings

monster2003

I’m putting in my too weak notice.

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