Genuinely why is everyone 12 now.

The worst part is that everyone else being 12 is making me more 12 out of necessity. Like what do you mean my most very strongly held and controversial beliefs now include "cover your mouth when you cough that's yucky" and "it's good to be nice and bad to be mean. You shouldn't be mean to people." That's the shit they used to get mad at me on the playground for.

They teach you this shit on carebears man. They teach you this shit on the smurfs.

fulfills my narrative destiny when my oddly-shaped penis is the perfect fit for the lock on a tiny magic door

normal sized magic door

I like loosening important looking screws and bolts from various vehicles and buildings whenever I go outside.

Does this have any negative consequences?

Believe it or not, yes.

I asked my niece what her favourite song was and she said Lalala 🎵