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Rappers being like "Got 12 bathrooms, I could shit all day" is so funny cause it's also irrelevant. Nothing really prevents a person from shitting all day in one bathroom. Unless you have roommates. And even then, roommates have to WAIT till you're OUT OF THE BATHROOM.

Me, on my Burger King shift (I hate my job) giddily announcing extra sauces are free

When I discover reading aloud a week before my thesis is due (it was recommended to me many, many times)

My thesis director: We could probably finish this in a week if we have to.

Me, feeling stupid for getting bitten by a stray cat I kinda catnapped: 😰

Being autistic as a Burger King crewmember feels like high stakes Among Us.

Tyriom : I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel -

Robert Baratheon made his own grave from whoring and drinking himself into oblivion and had the selfishness to bring Ned Stark into.

So much could have been avoided if the Lannister twins weren't trifling enough to bring a secret they'd literally killed people over into someone else's home.

The Dothraki guy when Khaleesi says she doesn't want her brother killed

I love how even in Joffrey lie about being ganged up on by Arya, the direwolf and the butcher boy, he still looked pathetic.