Roy Harper

          Donna’s eyes followed Roy as he fell to his knees before her. He was a mess but other than the lack of color in his skin, he looked good - much better than before he had disappeared to who knows where. She still had no answers but by the look of him, Roy hadn’t been on the bender she had assumed her ran off on. It was an easy assumption at the time. It gave her closure when he disappeared for weeks that had turned into a month without a word. Standing over him felt wrong so she knelt with him. Reaching out to touch his cheek, she looked over his face, searching for all the differences made in the past month. “I don’t hate you.” She whispered. “Where were you? You didn’t even say anything. You just disappeared.” 

Roy lifted his head when he felt her hand on his face. It was one of the first human touches he felt in weeks and his eyes involuntarily closed a moment. He winced when she said she didn’t hate him. Of course she didn’t. She was too good. Everything he never could be.  “You should. I hate me. You should be throwing me through a building.” he sighed. “Jade caught wind of my bender not too long after you saw me...she’s had me in an....intense rehab.” he said not wanting to worry her. “I didn’t have a way to contact you. i was hoping dinah would have mentioned it.”

“Of course I will, I love that little girl with all my heart. I’ll speak with Jade. Perhaps I can have her for a couple of nights as well.” she told him. “Are you keeping hydrated? You know its important to flush out your system.” she went into mom mode digging around her bag for the water bottle she put in there earlier. “Here, small sips. Get your rest - I say this in the most heartfelt and motherly way, you look like shit my love.” 

“Di..if you wouldn’t mind. I just wanna be alone.” he said not wanting to be coddled right now. Without another word he walked away from the door. He could hear her leave something, he was sure Jade would give it to him if she deemed in necessary. 

A few weeks later...

Roy’s knuckles rapped against Dinah’s door. He held a bouquet for her, a way to apologize and thank her for checking in on him. He was pretty sure Jade may have actually murdered her if she hadn’t been. It been  along month. “hey mom.” he smiled when she opened the door. Jade loosened the chains on me.

Her heart broke just looking at him. “My sweet boy.” she reached her hand out. Dinah would have preferred to check him into an actual rehab in the posh part of Gotham but Jade had refused and took matters into her own hands. “You’re not a failure Roy, that’s not how I see you. We’re all human we make mistakes, what’s important is picking ourselves back up and trying again.” She just wanted to hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright. She was cursing Ollie for not being here for support. She loved Roy like he was her own son and she hated to see him like this. 

Roy took her hand, the touch comforting. He listened to her words, but in the mind state he was in, it was practically one ear and out the other. There was nothing in the world he hated more than himself right now. “Can you, can you check on Lian for me? Jade’s been having her stay with her mother. Make sure she’s ok?”

☹  @arsenalsarrow​

       Donna had been avoiding Roy since the night she caught him with the strangers on a bender. She had been trying to collect her thoughts, to gather the courage to talk to him after everything. Instead, she had just been spending her time drowning in responsibilities, letting herself be consumed by her work instead of dealing with how she was feeling because it was easier. Nothing about loving Roy had ever been easy, but seeing him like that again had thrown her into overdrive. She didn’t know what to do or how to help other than by sending him to rehab, but then what happened to Lian? There were so many things to take into consideration, not to mention the fact that addicts would only get help when they wanted it. It was useless if Roy didn’t want to face the reality of what was going on. Coming around the corner, she stopped just in time to stop herself from running into Roy. “H-” before she could greet him, his lips were on hers and they were kissing. Pulling away quickly, she looked at him. “I can’t.” She told him softly. 

It been weeks. His skin was pale from lack of sun, but it was healthier. The bags around his eyes gone as he’d finally been getting some sleep. Even if it was cause Jade was dosing him. At First anyway. Now he could get through the night at least. Jade was still making him check in every hour, but at least he was out the house. He could be pissed at her but, her method worked. At least enough to get the shakes out his system. Give him a clear head. Then he saw Donna. She hadn’t come to see him once. But he didn’t blame her. How could he? He practically pushed her away. But seeing her in that moment, he lost grip on the chains of control. Wanting nothing more than to just kiss her. She pulled away and right there he dropped to his knees in front of her. “Donna…I’m….I’m so sorry. And I know it doesn’t mean anything to you and you probably hate me. But I am so fucking sorry Don.” He repeated. He was slapped with more shame than he realized.

Roy listened to his daughter and nodded. He was a fucking disgrace. Lian deserved so much better than him. She deserved a normal safe life. Her parents may have loved her, but they weren’t good for her. He could see that by how she spoke. “You’re so smart for your age. Too smart. The kind of wisdom that only comes from having too much experience.” he said to her through the door. “I am..so so sorry Lian. I make stupid decisions. But I’m going to do better. For you. I swear it.” he said to her, voice breaking as tears welled up in his eyes. “I love you more than anything else in this whole universe. You know that right?”

“I don’t want you to see me like this. For anyone to really. I feel like an animal on display.” He sighed placing his head on the door. It was degrading. But at the same time, I think that way Jade’s point. Making him face the consequences of his actions. Rehab was “easier” when you were thousands of miles away and didn’t have to look at the faces of the people you let down. The guilt was worse than any other withdrawal symptom. “I think I’m coming off the other side of it. I still get shakes sometimes though.” He sighed. “How’s Lian? Has she noticed? Is she okay?” he asked.

Roy looked at Dinah through the quite literal bars Jade had installed in the windows. He felt like there were bugs all over skin. He absent-mindedly rubbed his arm as he listened to her. “I’m sorry…” he forced out, voice weak from screaming days prior. His voice was flat and devoid of any fight. He was ashamed of himself. He thought he could out smart this monster inside of him, but he was wrong. Jade was right to put him in a cage. He felt like an animal. Tears pricked at his eyes and he turned from Dinah so she couldn’t see. “I’m a failure mom. I don’t deserve your sympathy...” @dinahhlance​

     “Exactly” he chuckled gently. “Oh you did?” There was a momentary panic as Roy’s words settled in before he realized that he didn’t seem all that bothered by it. It’s not like he was ever going to actually act on anything, anyways. That would just be a little too weird for him and Lian. “She is pretty hot” he laughed, shaking his head. “I bet Mar’i would probably go if I asked her..” he nodded. “Of course he did” Jake snorted. He was starting to discover that he was a lot more like his father than he had ever realized. 

“no no.I can say that. You don’t get to say that.” Roy warned when Jake called Jade hot. It was for the kid’s own good. Nothing good ever came from thinking Jade was hot. Well...other than Lian. “See there you go!” he encouraged. He wanted their next generation to be kids as long as they could, even if they were mostly out of their teens. “Oh yeah. He also got us to dress up as mario kart characters one year to do a Gotham wide go kart race. Your dad was always thinking up crazy ideas.”

❝ are you flirting with me or offering me to join fight club? ❞ @arsenalsarrow​ 

“Would you believe me if I told you neither?” Tim asked. He knew Roy was a close friend of both the Robins before him and he figured he might as well get to know him a little better himself. “I just wanted to know if you wanted to join me on patrol. You know, since we’re both out already and all.” It was a friendly offer. As if he was extending his hand to a possibly friendship. Tim leaped down from his perch and landed gracefully on the street with the other man. “Unless you’re busy of course. You look kinda tired…” That was coming from him. 

Roy took a moment looking at tim. He didn’t spend much time with the other robins, aside from Dick and Jason of course. “fuck it why not.” he shrugged. His blood was pumping and he could use the outlet. “You’re one to talk. Aren’t you the one that like lives off caffeine and power naps?”

     Wally listened carefully, wanting to full hear him out before he sprang to any conclusions on his own. How had he been so wrapped up in his own life that he hadn’t even noticed his friend slipping again? “I don’t want you to slip off of the wagon entirely again, Roy” he frowned. “But I also don’t want to pull you away from Lian…she needs you right now” he sighed. “How can I know that you’re really clean? You’ve lied before…” Anything for the high. He was careful to keep his tone gentle, not wanting to scare the other away. “I wanna take you to your meetings” he decided. They had all been struggling but that didn’t absolve Wally of the guilt he felt for not being there to catch Roy before things got bad. “I won’t go in…I know it’s a safe space for you, I just- I need to know you’re doing okay, man”

“Do I look that bent out of shape right now?” Roy said to his friend, unknowing of what he’d look like in just a few weeks. “Come on Wall- I don’t need a babysitter.” He muttered. “That and …I’ve already been going with Cassandra Cain. She’s the only other person who knows.” He told him. “But if it matters that much to you fine. We can make it an outing. Eggs and AA every Saturday.” he shrugged. “Thanks for listening Wall...it means alot.”

“Roy Harper - I was worried sick about you.” Dinah said basically kicking down the door. Her body trembled with pure anger. Not days ago she was just praising him with how much he had grown and how great of a father he was to Lian. “Get up. We’re going home.” she grit her teeth. Where the fuck was Oliver when they needed him. “I said get up. Your daughter is wondering where her father is and I don’t have the heart to tell her.” She was beyond disappointed. 

“Why? I’m fine.” Roy asked confused. He didn’t move at first, hoping she’d calm down a bit. Well that and he wasn’t sure if his legs were working. She snapped again and he got up. The last thing he wanted was to her to start yelling. “What do you mean? Jade was supposed to come get her. It’s her weekend with Lian.” He said. “I’m not doing anything. Letting off some steam. You’re acting like you caught me with a needle in my veins!”

-

Lois snorted softly as Roy spoke, looking up at him. “Yeah, he really should have thought of that before he jetted off to whatever galaxy he’s in,” she said dryly. She smiled as Lian came into the room, though a soft sigh left her lips a moment later. “Honey, did you lock them in a cabinet again? We talked about that.” She sighed, wandering into the kitchen. “The boys aren’t pots and pans, you can’t just put them – there they are.” She sighed as she let them out.

“This was a talk you had to have with her?” Roy said embarrassed. “I’m sorry Lois. I’m trying my best here but her mom didn’t teach her much self control. And her uncle Jason just undermines any discipline I try to put on her.” He sighed and followed her. He tried not to chuckle when the twin’s climbed out the cabinet. “Didn’t you mention Jon started developing his strength already?” he asked wondering why the stayed in the cabinet.