(*a search)

              it feels intrusive, approaching with near silent steps and lingering on the outskirts of vision. it’s habit, though. he’s grown used to moving this way, weaving through a vampire city without trying to draw any more attention than he already did as the queen’s favorite pet. delicacy made up for amplified senses. he’s surprised he’s noticed at all, even if it isn’t right away.

              “ just a walk. ” his answer comes quiet, almost reluctant, and he stays fixed in place. doesn’t move to close the awkward distance between them. talking to anyone from the group one-on-one still remains an unfamiliar activity. “ everyone else is sleeping. ” it’s an unspoken question. why aren’t you?

A HYMN BREAKS THE WIND — why are you awake ?  is it the fear of the darkness gripping your heart ?  the same one readying its threads in shredding your very being while in a most vulnerable state ?  the snickers of shadows prove an enemy in lingering weakness,  an undesirable trait so  (  hated  ) loved under wounded vessels.  yet the facade stays,  only a mock of the being you wish to be,  the perfection of a person carefully loved by all. 

‘ oh !  i just didn’t. . . didn’t feel like sleeping,  walking under a nice night such as this makes me feel calm. ’

the cracked yet polished smile is one normally easy to fool another in the apathetic gaze yet the moment loses grip,  voice caged under your own failure and the pain worsens.  hesitence guides your body to bring an advance of the space untouched to presence,  the strings between him and the puppet shortening.  your voice is upheld once more in a rush of a cover,  evading the territory past the mask desperately forged.

although he doesn’t speak of it to anyone, yoichi is very much aware of his bpd. undiagnosed and without care, he has to cope with methods he can find. it’s difficult for him to properly take care of himself.

throughout his childhood and teenage years he struggled with friendship and bonds in general; despite wishing for friends he couldn’t connect with anyone emotionally. he acted as he would, he acted with good intentions—he acted for a positive opinion from others. but he could never gain many strong bonds, everyone felt like static in his life, there but never clear. 

there were a few he’d become close to but they’d quickly leave him, a mess once every time it hit. every time he’d feel a rush, static would run through him and he’d cling to them yet no one would stay around. one after another, he’d be left for others better than him but yoichi understood that despite all the love he’d give, no one would want him. friendly and one to approach others, yet never liked enough to become one tied to another. simply floating around in hopes of filling the emptiness in him. 

then came yuu, a figure of hope. 

he saved yoichi.

not only saving him from others, he saved yoichi from himself. the once lack of a will to continue became a strengthened courage to fight for his friends. truly one who should prevail, with him as a dear follower.

              “ I’m sorry, this is an Idol Agency — did you need something? ”

          forfeit to the gods as you fall under their gaze of mischief, once and then twice—a toy in the midst.  they whisper sweet   (   vile   )   words of nothings, a shiver and a drum in the heart. little boy the crackle in you rises oh so very light, oh so very little.  laughable tangents shrivel your heart to nothing but a faint cling onto a shred of hope.  yet the path only continues, one which hastens the beat within you.

ripples flood the walls of the unknown within the DEPTHS of the pillars in which your eyes can see the hold within the stature of pride. in the ease of nothingness you step upon the stones beholding the dark natured history of the ticking world. 

oh if only the world weren’t so cruel. you can feel it, the touch of mockery within the canvas of black—but it no longer matters. you become infatuated with love of the auras existing around you, no longer held with blood drawing strings and more powerful than ever   (   although who were you could stray if you wished to, you’d be BROKEN without them after all.   )

the mist of trance unveils, freeing you once more yet never completely gone, only a disfigured shadow in a repeat process of a snickering creep within you. but it’s okay, you’re strong after all. YOU HAD TO BE. if the little boy from months ago were to stand in this moment they would question the essence of the weakling’s life as they’d unravel a tale of a disgustingly shredded coward.

a lost cause.

but your vile string and corrupted arrows unsheathe a new ending as they become a disillusioned creature of uncertainty bringing a path of strength. and in that path you were saved—bathed in sincerity by the instrumentals of the one who stands ahead.

          ‘   ah ! !  yuu, what was it that you needed help with ?   ’ 

yes. they brought you a god’s chance within the unfortunate game of life. a glitch in the system, the one who rose you to aspire the resolve that had aged through a slow tick of clocks. 

VELVETEEN WHISPS DANCE IN A BALLET reminiscent to the land of cold stone as the sky’s letters deliver pieces of time. heart touches the TIP of crystal as you long for the silver platter of inked pages—a scholars life grip in which the pages GLOW an aroma of the forest wood and quiet tea. sheet notes begin a fool’s brightly lit hope, the instruments leading the path of sincerity.

          ‘ oh, mika ! !  what are you up to ? ’

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When happy:

When sad:

Seeing something they want:

When their berserk button is pushed:

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Tagged by: @ofmacabre