Dick Grayson, age 9: Bruce it’s parent night at school. Do you remember? You have to meet with my teacher at 7:15.
(Battinson) Bruce, standing very still because one of the bats landed on his head and he’s not sure what do to: 7:15?
Bruce: …do you need a babysitter? Alfred is in New York.
Dick: yeah you should probably get someone to watch me? I’m only nine. *holds up nine fingers* I’m little, Bruce.
Bruce, still frozen with the bat nestling into his hair: clark I need your help
Dick: Bruce you can’t wear a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt and sunglasses to the parent teacher conference. And you need to wash your hair. There was a bat in it earlier.
Clark, with Dick climbing all over him like a jungle gym: What’s his bed time?
Bruce, pulling on his woolen coat, ready to walk out the door: bed time?
Clark: Yeah, the time he needs to be in bed? Because he’s a child?
Dick: I usually sleep at 8:00, Clark.
Clark: Oh good, I was worried—
Dick: Unless it’s the weekend, then B lets me go out and beat up bad guys with him and we get McDonalds at 4 AM!!!! And he got me a booster seat so I can drive the Batmobile now!!!!
Clark: Bruce I think we need to talk—
Bruce, sitting down in the small kid-sized chair opposite Ms. Wilson, Dick’s teacher: hi I’m Bruce
Ms. Wilson: Hello, Bruce. Thanks for coming. I just wanted to check in and let you know how Dick is doing academically and socially. I know he’s has a rough couple of years, but I want to start by saying that he’s a remarkably well-adjusted boy overall. He hasn’t gotten into any fights in five months!
Bruce, overjoyed, bursting with happiness: hn
Meanwhile, Clark and Dick are snacking on some pizza and watching Encanto. Dick is leaning against Clark’s arm.
Dick: I know you’re Bruce’s boyfriend.
Clark, pizza halfway to his mouth: ???
Dick: I saw you kiss him last week.
Dick: You shoved him real hard against the wall.
Clark, blushing at maximum levels, because darn it Bruce you and your got-dang strength kink: Dick, this isn’t appropriate…
Dick, not taking his eyes off the movie: if you hurt him I’ll find a way to hurt you.
Later that night, Bruce gets home and sees Dick asleep and drooling on Clark’s shoulder. Clark is watching Homeward Bound and crying a little.
Clark: Good. He’s great. :)
Bruce: is something wrong
Clark: I think a nine year old just gave me a shovel talk.
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