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New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where Minneapolis

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waltzinbmajor

im sorry churro please spare me

arjusct

this is beautiful

tuna pie: you’re being suspicious

peach mango pie: what? why

tuna pie: i don’t know, i just had a fishy filling

#jollibee #bad jokes

sneez

highlights from dostoevsky's notebooks for the idiot

purereads

daily affirmations:

1) I am not a flop.

2) I am not chopped.

3) I exist. In thousands of agonies — I exist. I’m tormented on the rack — but I exist! Though I sit alone in a pillar — I exist! I see the sun, and if I don’t see the sun, I know it’s there. And there’s a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there.

isa-isfruity

and 4) I am still unc!

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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laelepuc

arjusct

THIS IS AMAZING

sgshake

The music industry sucks, man!

I feel quite happy with this one, yay! Just like the last one of 20XX, Red, and Funky I made :)

queequeg-offical

yall ever heard someone say "gaslight gatekeep girlboss"? well i believe in "manipulate mansplain manwhore". therefore i bring you this:

ahab = manipulate

stubb = mansplain (purely vibes)

starbuck = manwhore (this ones just plain obvious)

i rest my case.

What fruit has killed the most whales?

A pea pod.

Get it? Cus pea pod sounds like the Pequod, which is a whaling ship from Herman Melville’s Moby Dick.

This joke sucks. I thought of it while taking a shit.

#moby dick #herman melville #pequod #dad jokes #bad jokes #jokes #literature #white whale

your-sister-karamazov

Crime and Punishment oversimplified -

Everyone: You’re just a normal guy

Raskolnikov: No I’m not

Everyone: Yes, you are

Raskolnikov, smugly: Well, could a normal guy do this? *kills two old women and goes batshit insane for 800 pages*

arjusct

THIS IS IT

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artechna

Crime and Pumpkinment….

this is my jack o lantern I carved this year 😈

butchraskolnikov

top 3 Raskolnikov moments

1. that time when he’s about to kill himself by jumping off a bridge. then he sees a woman try to do that and fail. he then gets so much second hand embarrassment he decides to live

2. when he goes to Razumikhin’s flat and then gets annoyed when Razumikhin is there

3. his whole detective speech after the scene at Mermeladov’s funeral dinner (did not get involved at all when it was actually important)

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