shiny rock collection

This is hands down the best tik tok ever made.

“she’s so needy and fluffy and other stuff you should know”

“yup! we’ll see you saturday! unpacking the truth” i-

‘love you xxx a critical look at the english language’ AGAHAHAHAHA

‘Maybe. It’s something to look into: A Six Part Series.’ Bit boring tbh

Come and make the drinks: A Message From Extraterrestrials?

Please Don’t Die: History’s Best Kept Secret

Also Kudos to Me That For Once I Did Remember That I Had to Remind You For Something But You Already Did It So I Didn’t Have To: Unpacking the Truth

Endlich, ein neues wort für flitzen

the most painful social interactions are when you miscalculate someone’s meme literacy and reference something and the person/group doesn’t get it and u have to half-heartedly explain it knowing FULL well it’s 0% funny if people don’t have the full convoluted context of the joke and u feel the flames of hell start to lick at ur feet as they all give u a pity laugh 

[sic] is such a callout

waiting for millennials to get blamed for killing black friday

This 13 year old is funnier than I will ever be

if u think im annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

but if i don’t hyperfixate i’ll get depressed and die

*runs out of hyperfixations* oh god oh fuck *lies in bed feeling empty and useless for 48 hours*

did cinderella ever talk to her man about his faceblindness

#'i met the perfect woman but it was a special occasion'#'so now wherever she is her makeup and hair are probably different'#'this is my nightmare'

rip prince charming, who had to let the whole kingdom make jokes about his foot fetish for the rest of his life because every blonde with an updo looks basically the same as far as he can tell

they call him prince charming because he’s always really polite to strangers to cover for the fact that he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to recognize them from somewhere and when you’re a prince that shit starts wars

Thank you this is the first post about self love that hasn’t made me want to throw things

Charles Darwin: unexpected depression hero.

My favorite Darwinism: “I am dying by inches, from not having any body to talk to about insects”.  Hits me right at the center of my hyperfixated soul.