I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@areiofhope

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this is so delightful
Ohhhh I see, so when YOU rearrange someone's guts its "Hot" and "Sexy", but when I do it, it's "medical malpractice" and "the act of a deeply disturbed individual"

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This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.
Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

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I agree 100%. And they should have to have a real job back home like it used to be
I've seen a lot of people reblogging this as a shitpost but it actually is ~technically~ true, if you're willing to give the literal text "lentils.com" a bit of leeway. The modern DNS or "Domain Name System" wasn't established until 1985, and was created to establish human-readable addresses for IP addresses, so you didn't have to know the actual IP address of the website you wanted to visit. In other words, you don't need to call up the world carrot museum and ask for their IP address in order to visit their website, you can just go to worldcarrotmuseum.co.uk.
HOWEVER, the DNS system wasn't created whole-cloth, it was based on a library topic-categorization system that predated the dewey decimal system and was widely used across private and government libraries in england and, later, the united states. The system was called the Index Dominiorum, or "Register of Domains," and was pioneered by the Library of Oxford in 1731. It's first ever use was for the tracking and maintenance of agricultural records for major staple crops, with the list distinguishing between commercial and independently-grown crops, as subsistence farming was still how a lot of people got their food in england at the time. In this register of crop reports, one of the first (not the actual first first) records added to the list was a report on the production of commercial lentils, labeled "lentils, com." Because that same core registration system was used as the basis for the DNS nearly 3 centuries later, it can be argued that "lentils.com" was one of the first domains ever registered, along with similar commercial crop names like "barley.com", "rye.com", and "bulgur-wheat.com". Unfortunately, none of this is true, and i did just make it all up.
you might have convinced me if you hadn't used bulgur-wheat and if you hadn't used "com" qua "com", because it wouldn't have been shortened in that particular way
if, instead, you said it was a misinterpretation of "corn," it would have been more believable
"but Siobhán," you say, "none of those are corn!"
while "corn" is generally interpreted to mean maize in modern English, historically it was the word for a single kernel of a cereal grain, and also meant anything small in roughly the same general size as a kernel of grain, thus, for example, peppercorns or barleycorns
I don't know off the top of my head if it was ever used for lentils or other legumes
but it's similar to how "apple" was a generic term for a firm round tree fruit that didn't have a specific name established rather than the fruit of Malus domestica specifically
it's why we call them pineapples; originally, "pine apple" (two words) referred to pinecones, for at least a couple hundred years before Westerners were even aware the Americas existed, but John Smith (yes, the John Smith associated with the Jamestown colony) used it to refer to the yellow-fleshed tropical fruit (which, I learned recently, is a cluster of berries that become one big fruit), perhaps because of the Spanish word, piña, or the French phrase that Gonzalo Hernández Oviedo (whose use of "piña" is the oldest attested) also used, pomme de pin, i.e., pine apple, to describe it
and all of that is true, because I enjoy shitposts, I love explaining stuff like the above even more

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