postsecret archive

When I was 7, I found a Playboy magazine in my uncle’s bathroom. My uncle masturbated beside me in bed and i pretended to sleep. I was curious about the Playboy girls and I lifted my shirt. I let him look at me as I ‘slept’. This happened several times. I stayed away from him after that. Fast-forward 20 years later, I still have this urge to let him look at my body. I want to tell my aunt but I can’t break her heart. I don’t know if he broke me or if I was broken to begin with.

My husband and I eloped and very few people know we’re married. I am so happy with my husband, but my very intense ex (who doesn’t know I’m married) and I still email each other really sexual things. He tells me I own him and that he is totally devoted to me. I don’t want to keep it up, but I keep doing it because I’m scared he will find me and beat the shit out of me. He scares me and I can’t confide in anyone about it. 

I’m unsure of several things: my sexual orientation, what I’m doing with my life, and why I’m even here. But I’m sure of one thing: I’m utterly and madly in love with my best friend who is of the same gender as I. 

I Slept with two brothers, finished it with them...broke one of their hearts...and what they don't know is it was all because i couldn't accept I was a lesbian. Now I feel lonely and broken.

Trigger Boy, please don't do it. It ain't over til it's over. You can make your life anything you want. I'm not telling you what to do, or just saying it because I saw your post and want to appease my conscience. Seriously, I have been there, in the same place you are, and somebody saved me. I can barely think about how awful it would have been if nobody had, because my reality then wasn't real, it was depression taking over. I'm sorry for what you go through. Please start taking the meds again.