Commander in Chief

“Oh, it’s definitely her loss.” A waved hand—water under the bridge—despite the laugh that momentarily shakes shoulders, and her look turns thoughtful before heels click, carefully crossing the distance, a soft swoosh of fabric as she sits down next to her on a small little wobbly sliver of wood, arms still crossed. “And, no, you can’t. That doesn’t make it easier when it happens. I’ve—”

The chin tips backwards, eyes skimming along the ceiling, and the laughter fades.

“Had my fair share of close-calls, here. Near-deaths. More than I can count, anymore, all of which I can remember. I’ve been told I can be a little…reckless, and I doubt that’s changed from planet to planet. But, hmm…every time,” Those arms drop, chin dipping back down to watch that jaw and those eyes and those familiar lips, sincere: “Do you know what goes through my mind? My sons. My mother. You. Kara. The people who I’m leaving behind—who would be a little lost without me. I’m not scared of dying. I’ve accepted it, it’s…an inevitability. Especially now that I’m, oh, fine—older.”

A huff.

Quieter:

“I don’t want it, but it’s going to happen, someday. And someday someone won’t be fast enough. Kara. Jimmy. Clark. You.” Her tongue darts over lips, “I’ve never blamed anyone for being slow unless they’re bringing me my coffee. Maybe I’ll snipe or gripe or roll my eyes—maybe I’ll be a little scared underneath it all—I…know it won’t make it easier. I know I’m not…her. But I’ve never blamed anyone. The only thing I’ve ever hoped—the only thing I ever want in that last moment is…for everyone I love to be alright. To keep fighting. To press on. I’d want you to do what you’re doing right now, because you have a job to do. And I’d be proud of you. And…love you.” A sucked in breath, turning back forward, humming. Shrugging a shoulder that brushes against Olivia’s as she drawls:

“And I’d want you to actually talk to a therapist instead of pushing yourself onto another earth and getting—admittedly fantastic—but wholly unsolicited life advice from me. Have you?” Serious, “Talked to anyone about that little nugget at the end there. How long were you together?”

“How can you be from completely different Earth, be completely different people but still so similar?” She chuckled under her breath, it was unbelievable really, she could easily have pictured her cat giving the same speech. She knew she was right, she knew that moving forward, doing her job was what she would have wanted. She would want her to take care of herself too but she had never been very good at that. Everyone else first, then herself. It was just the way she was. “Boys? You have children? Not..not with Joe?” she questioned, face crinkling up at the thought of Cat having children with him. She never liked him and vowed she never would.

Olivia hummed as Cat kissed her shoulder and ran her hand over her back. She would be the first to admit she was stressed. Taking over from Lockwood as Secretary of Alien Affairs was proving much more difficult than she thought. She was expecting resistance but she wasn’t expecting so much resistance from within the department it’s self. Even after the President did a clean out of staff. “I have to get this paper work finished babe” she muttered, clearly exhausted. 

An eyebrow slowly hikes higher and higher until—

“Oh.” It rounds out her mouth in a circle, the other eyebrow raising with it, before both brows lower and she hums. A light laugh—breathy—something buried deep inside it that might not seep into the noise, but certainly bubbles up, up and away into her eyes. That explains it a little bit more—a few more puzzle pieces. And a few less slotting out of alignment in Cat’s own life. “No.” The laugh drops into a smile. Soft. A little sad, although, if pressed, she’d say it’s for what Olivia’s clearly lost— “We’re not. But, well…I guess I can’t say I’m surprised. Not that much surprises me, anymore. Maybe you being a republican,” Her hand rolls—tucks up an elbow in front of her chest as she leans forward, almost conspiratorially, “If just because there would be a version of you out there so deluded that you’d think trickle-down economics is a feasible plan. I wouldn’t be able to take you outside, I have a reputation to uphold.”

There’s that tease, again. Familiar, but quieter. Gentler, as she steps a little closer, eyes flicking up from the handkerchief to wet eyes. But there’s a lot more to love than marriage, wasn’t there? Cat would know, since she’s had four loveless ones. 

No use beating around the bush. Clearly no one else in this broody hunk of city metal was going to ask.

“How long ago was it? Since you lost…her.”

“Yeah” Olivia replied, eyes darting away from her briefly before returning to Cat. A smile spread across her face, relaxing a little more into the situation. “Well, that’s her loss I guess” she laughed lightly, folding her arms across her chest. She rolled her eyes at Cat leaning back against something -a desk she presumed. “I don’t think there would ever be a world where I could be a republican. If i ever was you could only assume it would be at gun point” 

Olivia shifted uncomfortably and looked away from Cat. She clenched her jaw as memories of that day flashing before her eyes, the image of racing to save her only to be too late, carrying her wife into the Tower, completely lifeless. “Couple of years” She said through gritted teeth, eyes dropping to the floor. “She had been kidnapped, they wanted me to do something in exchange for her life. I thought I could save her. I tried, We tried.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know.” It’s a hum of admittance—a hint of that journalistic habit sneaking underneath the lilt of her voice. But there’s no lack of familiarity here that she’s reaching across a gap to fabricate. It’s sincere, and a small shrug showcases this. “I don’t know you. But…I can’t imagine a world where I don’t, either. You can’t be that different–not if you’re spending your free time saving the world and fighting to give everyone the best possible future you can. And I’m not about to sit here wasting my time being unnecessarily analytical over nature versus nurture like some mary-jane toting philosophy major in a coffee shop.”

Lips still curve and she leaves the handkerchief in good hands, her own raising up to curl around Olivia’s shoulder. To squeeze, just for a moment, because what else can she do when she looks like that? “And, oh, I’m sure you don’t. See? You’re still a politician at heart—the lies just keep piling on.” It’s a tease, “A natural.”

A beat, voice dropping lower, eyes barely slitting: “You are still a democrat, right?”

“I have to ask.... you and I..I mean, her and you.. are you two? a...married?” It didn’t sound like words coming from a Radcliffe graduate nor someone with a doctorate but she wasn’t quite sure how to ask. It seemed so personal to ask but she couldn’t imagine a world where she wasn’t completely head over heals with Cat. 

Her head jerks up at the sound of the familiar voice, and she turns quickly, her eyes widening when she spots her across the room. ‘Olivia!’ She doesn’t care that she’s surrounded by people who are suspicious of her, doesn’t care that she’s making an emotional display in public, because her friend is alive, and that’s all that matters. 

She dashes across the room, and throws her arms around Olivia’s shoulders, holding her tightly as a relieved laugh bubbles up in her throat. ‘You made it’, she breathes, ‘you’re safe’. 

Her heart skips a beat as Lilian dashes across the room and wraps her in a hug. Her breath is shaky as she hugs her back tightly, for the first time in years. The last time she saw her was the night before she died. She never forgave Lionel for what he did and she let him know it at every chance she got. “It’s you” Olivia muttered into her shoulder, “I can’t believe you are here”

New world full of familiar faces. Even at the DEO there were agents whose faces she recognised from the watch tower, names that felt so familiar but in reality she knew none of them. They were version, doppelgangers of those she knew or knew of. It seemed even her doppelganger was well known, by the reactions of those around her as she strolled through the DEO with her suit on. The confused reactions of those around her made her giggle, clearly she was no Wonder Woman on this Earth. “You’d think they would have never seen somewhere in their hero uniform before.” Olivia commented to someone, her trademark smile plaster over her face. “But I assume it isn’t because of  that?”

Olivia allows Cat to pull her away from the hall into a quiet room by themselves. It was for the best. She didn’t know what this version of Cat was like or how this Earth tolerated things. It wasn’t a problem on her Earth, for as long as she could remember you could marry anyone regardless of gender. It brought her great comfort to know, no matter the situation, the Olivia on this Earth still had Cat at her side. 

“You have no idea” Olivia smiled softly, as a few tear slipping down her face. She hadn’t mourned her wife properly, she buried her hand into her work and became too caught up in the battles that came after to properly grieve her. Seeing someone who looked exactly like her, sounded exactly like her but wasn’t her opened wounds that never really closed. She let out a light laugh, taking the handkerchief, wiping away the tears on her cheek. “I take it your Olivia and I have more in common than just looks?” 

WE’RE THE SAME HEIGHT

nickname  : Nik

real  name  : My actual actual one or the one i consider to be my real name? cause those aren’t the same thing XD

zodiac  :  Scorpio!

height  :  4′9″ (aka standing next to reign would make me feel v v v v v v v tiny)

what  time  is  it  ?  :  8.51pm.

favourite  musician/group  :  anything from the 50s/60s/70s.

favourite  sports  team  :  Boston Red Sox. 

other  blogs  :  @coragrant​, @mciraqueen​, a multi i should pay more attention to.

do  i  get  asks  ?  :  Maybe one or every few days or so. 

how  many  blogs  do  i  follow  ?  :  300 and something

any  tumblr  crushes  ?  :  everybody. every-fucking-body.

lucky  number :  7

what  am  i  wearing  right   now  ? :  harvard PJs and a black wife beater because what is fashion. 

dream  vacation :  ooooooooo a vacation where i can snuggle as many friends as possible! 

dream  car :  Like realistic dream car? or if i won the lottery dream car? 2019 Ford Mustang Bullitt would be my if i won the lottery car otherwise i really love the new range of subaru imprezza

favourite  food  :  potatoes, every kind of potatoes (unless those fuckers are steamed)

drink  of  choice :  ummm usually anything fizzy

languages  :  english.

instruments  :  Drums, Piano, played a bit of the Saxaphone in high school. 

celebrity  crushes  ?  :  *points to my icon* and susanna thompson