What did you expect?

for a second he was terrified - as she tugged on his wrist, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was the part that she stormed off and left him in the dust - he wasn’t really someone who had been equipped with a life time of knowledge on upset woman - but as she laced their hands back together, he felt himself let out the breath that he had unknowingly been holding. “it is–” he admitted, a small laugh slipping as he agreed, “but it’s not the only thing that’s important to me - i don’t want it to be–” you’re important to me - i don’t want to disappoint you, those words seemed too soon for him to utter, but he was hoping that implying it would be enough. 

“that first game was brutal to watch –” the uneasiness slipping in, digging in to his gut like a vice that he couldn’t rid himself of, “amos is just as good - i can’t afford to lose” first game wasn’t the end of a season, but it set the bar - he wanted to set it high, he’d rather be constantly reaching than falling into a pit of not being enough. “i do –” he hadn’t wanted to interrupt her, but they needed to set things straight - if this was going to work, then maybe they did need to talk about it. “i do need to explain myself –” he corrected, shrugging as he watched her with the sort of shyness that he wasn’t accustomed too, “dorcas – you’re allowed to expect things of me – we kind of did this backwards, didn’t we?” he sighed, soft chuckle slipping from his lips as he thought about how they dove right in, without any rules but rules are what usually kept people sane and on par with a routine. “i like you –” saying that out loud felt right, he pressed a quick kiss against her forehead as he continued, “– and i’m not going anywhere so, what would you say if i said lets do this? be steady –” teeth sinking into his lip as he let go of her and gave her the space to make a decision. she had told him right from the start that she wasn’t much of a relationship person - that things hadn’t worked out with sirius for a reason and yet here he was putting it right on her step, but what else could he do? neither of them were happy with the ambiguity - no he wanted more and he hadn’t realized till he had seen her a mess over him. “if you need time to think about it - i understand, i can be the one waiting for you this time –” 

“It was an intense game - for sure.” An intense game that came out in favour of her - and Alice’s - side, so she knew she didn’t really know what he’d experienced watching the game. “Well, you’re good to. And you’ve been working really hard. I’m sure Amos is too, but if you put too much pressure on yourself you’re just going to make it harder. Not... that I think you should take a step back from Quidditch. Just, don’t beat yourself up.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself though - we’ve never - we’re not...” She let herself trail off as he continued. Doe hated this needy feeling that she had - like she did have expectations for him. She didn’t know what to do with it. Her lips twisted into a smile, they had done things rather backwards. But it wasn’t like Doe had any forward experiences to compare it to. The only relationship she’d ever had was with Sirius and it could certainly have been considered backwards. She let out a breath and let her eyes flutter closed as her pressed a kiss to her forehead, the words I like you too primed and ready on her lips. At his next words however, her lips opened onto nothing, eyes flying open and widening as he took a step back from her. “Oh-” She hadn’t been expecting it. And perhaps she should have been - this was probably a NORMAL next step, but she was caught by surprise. She could feel the urge to run right there at the front of her mind. Just - walk away and find some way to avoid him... forever. But it was a dumb impulse and she fought to keep her feat steady, eyes trained on him. She didn’t want to run.

maybe this was why he had been avoiding her – he wasn’t ready for a reminder that he needed to be better. looking at her - that was what came roaring to him and merlin, was he disgusted by himself. she couldn’t even look at him and to think that he had caused this – it wasn’t a great feeling. he had people who relied on him - he had a team that did that, he was no stranger to the feeling of being needed - but this was different. this wasn’t quidditch - he was doing what he swore he wouldn’t do - give her a reason to doubt him. 

“dorcas–” he murmured, shaking his head as he set his bag aside and cupped her face carefully, “it’s not stupid –” he muttered. she had thought they were something – “we are –” words out of his lips before he could really think about it. he didn’t know what they were - he still didn’t think he was boyfriend material, he was barely a good something, but having her there doubting that was also not something that sat right with him. “i’m sorry – i’ve been distant” he admitted quietly, “it has nothing to do with you. love, you did nothing wrong – i’ve just been stressed, first game of the season - i need to play well, or i’m not going to get recruited, if i’m not in class – i’m on the pitch and i should have told you, i just – i don’t know how to do this. i don’t want to make excuses - especially not with you, but what i can say is you’re my only something outside of the pitch –” he hadn’t grown tired of her - he had kept away because she had a tendency to consume him, “i can’t focus when i’m around you –” he admitted, teasing smile at his lips, “really - you’ve gotten under my skin, meadowes –” 

She took in a sharp breath as his hands cupped her face, but it was quickly let out in a sigh of relief as he affirmed that they were something. Not that Doe knew what something was. She closed her eyes for a moment, head tilting back against the wall. She lifted a hand to wrap around his wrist, pulling it off her face and lacing her fingers with his. “Of course. Quidditch is... your life. I wasn’t thinking about it.” She lifted her head back up to look at him. “Not that you need to be stressed - because I’m sure you’re going to crush Hufflepuff,” she gave him a tentative smile. “You don’t have to explain yourself.” Her eyes flicked back towards the ground. “I was afraid... you realized you didn’t like me. And I guess I’m just on edge because I don’t know what’s going on and I’m not used to feeling like this about... anyone. Worried and stuff,” she let out a laugh. “I usually don’t give a shit whether or not people like me. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

@bravemeadowes​

“Doe!” Marlene called out in the common room. “Are you hiding from me?” She walked past a few first years and made a face at them. “Can you like, move? I’m trying to get over there.” She asked them, shoeing them away. “What are you doing?” She asked her friend. “I thought you were going to meet me outside?” 

Doe looked up from the book she’d picked up off of coffee table when she saw Marlene entering the common room. “Hey Marly! Hiding? Obviously not. I just got wrapped up in... You & Your Owl,” she said, glancing at the cover with a wince. “Lost track of time.”

mary liked sleep as much as the next person, but sometimes she felt it was a waste of time. why sleep for eight hours of the day when there was so much stuff to do, so much life to be lived? it was tragic, really. “it’s barely midnight and it’s high time we went on a midnight broomstick voyage, don’t you think? now get up before i pull you out of bed,” mary threatened. @bravemeadowes​

Doe groaned, flopping back down on her bed as she pulled on a stocking. “Mar, hate flying. I’m just gonna fall off my broom and you’re gonna have to explain to a very annoyed Minnie how I broke my legs in the middle of the night.”

Lily gave her friend a soft smile. “Yes, well it’s starting to look a whole lot more tempting now,” she said, only half-joking. “You should try me again.”  Truthfully, she knew that it was better for her that she was kept so bust, as it gave her less time to stew in her own head. over things best left forgotten. “And don’t say that you do practically the least, that’s hardly true. Like you said, you’re brilliant in Defense Against and I know you put more effort in there than you would ever admit.” Curling her legs up under her, she snuggled further into the couch and said, “Alright, besides classes, what else is new in the land of Dorcas Meadowes?”

“Lily Evans - would you like to completely slag off of your classes and become an incorrigible party girl with me? I cannot promise your teachers will approve - but I certainly will. And isn’t that all you really need?” Doe lifted her head back up, looking at her friend. She knew that there was no way that Lily would take her up on the offer, but it was fun to suggest anyway. “Well - maybe I don’t do the least, but we are certainly on different levels, you and I. And don’t ever let anyone else know I TRY in a class.” She sighed, pursing her lips. “I think I like someone. I mean I know I do - and not in a Dorcas Meadowes wants to sleep with a boy kind of way. I mean - she does. But-”

Eat, Quidditch, Sleep. that was on REPEAT at this moment, barely squeezing in time for studying - Iain was at his wits end, often the captain less likely to be overcome with anxiety, the first game of the season was really digging in. it was getting the best of him and especially after the most recent game - he couldn’t go down like that. he had a quidditch career on the line - he needed to be better. what he didn’t think was that being better would involve seeing less of dorcas. he wasn’t actively avoiding her or at least that’s what he told himself, she wouldn’t even notice - she didn’t want to be serious, right? that was what their first conversation had been all about and yet he couldn’t help the guilt that tugged at his gut. he just hadn’t been around as much as he would like and maybe it was because he had a tendency to get all fuzzy around her - his brain nearly mush as she drew him in - he was happy. unburdened and happy - he didn’t know what to do with that. 

he had slipped into the great hall quickly - merely grabbing a snack and then off he was to the pitch, he nearly tumbled as he felt a sharp tug. eyes widening as he found himself in the small alcove with none other than dorcas meadowes peering up at him – just about to say a quick hello before the apologies would simply slip out of his lips when her words silenced him, “WHAT?” he questioned startled as his brows furrowed, hands resting on the stone above her head as he peered down at her, gaze softening. “no–” he spluttered, shaking his head quickly– he was expecting an earful - maybe a lecture, but the doubt that tugged at her face - the disappointment there hurt his heart, “why would you think that?” maybe it was because he had been avoiding her like the plague, but maybe he needed to hear it. he was a prick and the girl he adored was just about to prove it. 

She looked down toward the floor rather than look up at him, feeling her cheeks flush slightly. This was not her. She did not do this, and she was embarrassed that she cared so much that she hadn’t seen him in so long. She kept her eyes trained on the ground as he asked the question, bringing her arms up to cross over her chest. “I just - I haven’t seen you in a while and... it’s not like we don’t live in the same castle and eat in the same room. I just... it’s stupid. I thought maybe there would be some warning when you decided... or realized... I don’t know this is stupid. You don’t have to see me. I just thought we were - I don’t know, something.”

@potterstagger​

closed for @bravemeadowes​

mary should be tired. after dedicating most of her day working on a history of magic essay using her maximum brain power before spending some time with a lonely seventh year ravenclaw in an empty classroom, the sixth year should have passed out the moment her head hit the pillow. however, mary laid in bed, antsy and unable to fall asleep – she’d been staring at her bed covering for over an hour while imagining her lips on a certain someone’s when mary decided she had enough. the girl ripped off the maroon covers and quietly threw on her muggle clothes, traipsing to dorcas’ bed and pulling the canopy open. “doe,” mary whispered, poking her friend in the face and grinned as her friend came back to the real world. “get your arse up and get dressed.”

Doe groaned at she felt the touch on her face, pushing the hand away as she blinked her eyes open. “Sleeping, Mar. Where’s the respect.” She glared at her friend before sighing and sitting up, running a hand across her face. She got up, pulling on some clothes before turning back to her friend, bleary look still in her eyes. “What time is it and why have you destroyed my good night’s sleep.”

Lily collapsed back onto the sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room with a groan. Stretching out like a cat, she then curled up on her side and peered over at the person sitting in the armchair next to her. “Remind me why I thought it was a good idea to keep on all my courses for N.E.W.T.’s in addition to prefect duties and all the other clubs I’m in?” she asked Dorcas with a heavy sigh. “I’m thinking about lugging a blanket and pillow down to the library, just so I don’t have to climb Gryffindor Tower at the end of every day to sleep.” Yawning, she sat up and stretched her arms above her head. “Enough about me; how are you doing, love? Classes going well?”

@bravemeadowes​

Doe was curled up in a chair, potions essay laying beside her, having been abandoned in favour of a magazine that had likely been forgotten by some second year. She closed the magazine as Lily settled on to the couch, lips quirking up slightly at her question. “It’s called being an overachiever, Lil. I’m fairly certain I tried to tempt you with my preferred method of doing practically the least, but you’re far too good for that.” Her head tilted back against the chair. “I mean, they’re classes. So they’re fine. Nothing to write home about - you know. I think that I’m acing Defense Against - and to be fair that’s the only one I really care that much about.”

She was COMPETITIVE to say the least - despite her often sweet nature and kind words, the girl was as ferocious as it came on the pitch, eyes always on the prize as the mischievous golden snitch fluttered in the air - driving her to win. FIRST MATCH AND IT WAS ALREADY A WIN – heart beating erratic as the girl allowed herself to step away from the crowd and breathe - it wasn’t too long till she felt herself nearly topple over with the weight of the person who flung themselves on her – “dorcas meadowes, light of my life - are you trying to kill me?” 

@bravemeadowes​

Perhaps Dorcas would be a fan of Quidditch regardless - she did enjoy the games in general - but more so she was a fan of Alice Lightwood and so she spent most of the game fully screaming at the top of her lungs and when Alice caught the snitch it was all she could do not to throw herself over the stands. When she finally got to her best friend, she practically tackled her with a hug. “ALLIE you fucking KILLED babes. Seriously - I can’t believe my best friend is the best chaser in the world.”

Where: Gryffindor Common Room

When: Post-Quidditch Party

Who: Anyone

“Alright you beautiful bastards, listen up.” Sirius’s voice magically amplified as he got up onto the coffee table, drink in one hand and his other arm tucked neatly away in a sling, courtesy of Regulus. One broken wrist, a slight concussion and one afternoon spent in the hospital wing later, he’d finally been able to join the celebrations. “I’m not sure how they managed to pull it off without their best beater, but we fucking won. So in honour of putting the Snakes in their place, there’s a lot of firewhiskey over there by the table – of-age wizards and witches only, thank you very much – so let’s celebrate, Gryffindor style. Oh– and ladies, I’m not sure if you saw my fall, but I’ll be over there if you’d like to try and make me feel better.” The room cheered and he was grinning as he hopped down off the table, heading right for the firewhiskey stash he spoke of where he discovered that he wasn’t alone. “Good speech, right? Think I’ve got a talent for it.” 

Dorcas Meadowes was a fan of parties, and there was no party quite like the one right after Gryffindor won a game. And Gryffindor hadn’t just won, they’d demolished Slytherin - which made the victory all that much sweeter. She cheered right along with the rest of the room and quickly made her way over to the firewhiskey. “Oh - great speech,” she said with a laugh and a roll of her eyes. “Maybe you should go into politics - just absolutely captivating, you are.” She reached out and tapped the sling he was wearing. “Rough tumble there, mate. I’m surprised that wench Poppy let you out of her sights.”

@iainwocd​

minerva knew that if she were to ask dorcas who (as in multiple who’s) was spreading the liquid joy, she’d get stonewalled. the students always banded together to go against the authority and minerva just wasn’t in the mood to deal with it tonight. was there a way they could even monitor all of them? no. she just wished that they would make the decision on their own to not drink themselves silly. 

minerva nodded, inspecting dorcas’ costume. “i saw frank walking around as godric – are you meant to be rowena?”

A wide smile overtook Doe’s face and she reached up to gently touch the diadem on her head. “I AM, thank you for noticing. Alice is Helga and Amos is Salazar.” She cocked her head to the side, lips pursing for a moment. “And you’re... I’m sure Rowena would have a guess but I do not.”

“i could have –” he trailed off, pouting rather thoughtfully, “robin hood would have lied - bloody hell” he grumbled, he couldn’t even get his costume right - the honesty really would be the end of him at this rate. but the smile at her lips - the way she tugged him back toward her, nearly stumbling right into her as he steadied himself with her waist, “i like that rule” he hummed, smile widening against her lips as he swept in for one last peck before he tugged away. 

“do you feel WISER?” he teased, his jokes were lame but if it got a laugh out of her, he wouldn’t care. 

“I don’t know who this Robin Hood is, but if he’s the reason that I get to see you in this, then I am a fan. It’s okay - I’ll give you lying lessons - you’re just not aloud to use them against me unless it’s for a good cause.” Doe’s bottom lip jutted out as he pulled away from her, but she let out a loud laugh at his question. “Oh - so much wiser. In fact - I don’t think Rowena has anything on me now that I’m a whole seventeen.”

“Are you a slutty princess who likes blue?” Remus retorted, taking a sip of his drink and raising his eyebrows at her. “Her madgesty already appears well and truly three sheets to the wind as she should be.” The playful scarcasm fell away from his face slowly, to reveal a soft little smile as he looked at her. Dorcas Meadowes, another year older but certainly not wiser. “Happy Birthday, Doe.” Remus said softly, clinking his drink with hers. “I’m sure it’ll be one you won’t remember.” He added before taking another sip. 

@bravemeadowes·

Doe hit his arm, making a noise of protest. “I’m clearly Rowena Ravenclaw.” She gestured to her head. “The diadem is lost and I don’t know what it looks like and I have zero responsibility for it’s resemblance to a tiara. Wait - actually - I forgot.” Doe cleared her voice, straightening up slightly.  “Take away the whole and some still remains - what is it?” Doe smiled as she tapped her glass with his. “Thank you - and if all goes well that is the plan. Though I think Minnie’s already on to me so act natural if she starts looking.”

even though minerva tried not to show it, there were several students she cared a lot about. their well-being, their futures. “i have my lemonade here, dorcas.” there weren’t many students that she called by their first name. “there’s not meant to be alcohol here and you know that. do you have it on you or is there someone else responsible for sending half of you into the bottle?” minerva told albus that he was too trustworthy of the students and that they’d find a way to get drunk at a school function, but someone wouldn’t listen. @bravemeadowes​

Dorcas huffed out a breath, arms crossing even tighter. “I don’t have anything on me, Professor.” True. “And I don’t know who has anything unfavorable.” Lie. There were plenty of people walking around the party with alcohol and who knows what else. Doe wasn’t even sure who’d supplied most of the drinks she’s taken. But, even if she did, she wasn’t about to rat anyone out - and McGonagall probably knew that. Still, it was her job to ask, wasn’t it. Doe’s shoulders lifted up in a shrug. “I hope you’re enjoying your lemonade at least.”

minerva wanted to believe dorcas. really, she did. but minerva was once 16 (albeit, a long time ago) and she knew how teenagers acted all too well. “i appreciate the compliment,” minnie responded, “i’m glad you seem to be enjoying your halloween, but dorcas – i know you know better.” dorcas was in her sixth year and since the beginning of her fourth, the girl had been different. minerva knew about the death of her parents and she didn’t want to make dorcas’ life any harder than it already was, but she didn’t want dorcas to go down a path of regret. @bravemeadowes​

Dorcas pressed her lips together tightly, looking at McGonagall steadily. As much as she liked and respected her, Dorcas sometimes wished she had a less OBSERVANT head of house. “Understood. But, really Professor, you’ve nothing to worry about. I’m super responsible. Besides, haven’t you heard? I’m seventeen now! Nothing but reasons to celebrate. In fact - maybe YOU should have a drink - for me of course.”