Archieved-Chaldea's Future

“My family’s perfectly normal.”

“It’s not you. I’m bad luck.”

“My t-shirt’s stuck to my sweater isn’t it?”

“I got divorced.”

“The first day of school was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur.”

“Is that your natural hair color?”

“Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die.”

“She asked me how to spell ‘orange’.”

“She’s totally rich because her dad invented toaster strudel.”

“Evil takes a form in ___.”

“One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.”

“So you’ve actually never been to a real school before?”

“Oh my god, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.”

“On Wednesdays we wear pink.”

“Why do you hate her? You seem to really hate her.”

“I just think it would be a fun little experiment.”

“Would you just do it? Please?”

“I mean, you wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking your friends if it looked good on you, would you?”

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

“If you need anything, don’t be shy, okay?”

“There are no rules in this house.”

“There are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil stuff, and people who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”

“Does that mean I’m morally obligated to burn that lady’s outfit?”

“Moderately prices soaps are my calling.”

“I strive for a world where all children are loved.”

“Don’t leave me alone.”

“Keep me warm.”

“No! You deserve to be loved too!”

“I’m so cold.”

“This stench is horrible.”

“Here children are but prey.”

“The world is ugly. Do you still want to live?”

“You’ve seen something ugly.”

“I saw the children die.”

“I was in hell, but they gave me love.”

“But then killing people is just repeating the cycle.”

“You saw, didn’t you? That’s how the world works.”

“If ten people build a world, two of those will be excluded. By sacrificing two, eight gain happiness. It’s the general law of the universe.”

“You are the victims here, to be pitied.”

“I can defeat you, but I cannot save you.”

“The mass of hatred and the despair of your victims changed you.”

“Cry out the Lord in your trouble, and he will lead you to life.”

“What are you trying to do?! They’re children! Children! They aren’t even evil! Just victims! Pitiful souls crushed by the system of the world!”

“If you want to kill them, I’ll take you instead!”

“Freeing their souls is salvation.”

“You wear a banner instead of a sword in battle. Why?! Wasn’t it so you wouldn’t kill? So that your hands won’t be bloodied?”

“My hands aren’t bloody because I don’t wield a sword? Please.”

“I was a part of that war. I decided to fight. My hands were tainted red the moment I decided that.”

“Don’t underestimate me. I won’t hesitate to destroy them.”

“You’re no saint!”

“I never considered myself a saint.”

“If I abandon them, who will love them? That God of yours?”

“Free their souls? You can’t sugarcoat murder!”

“Do you really want to kill us? Is there no other way?”

“You are heading to where you belong. That is nothing sad about it.”

“No matter what I say, you won’t listen.”

“We could’ve saved them!”

“I will never forgive you! You murdered innocent children!”

“You’re safe now that I’m here! This might be a trainwreck, but we’re in it together!”

“I’m really good at annoying people.”

“You imposter of a saint! I’ll never forgive you!”

“Please don’t judge people. Don’t give up by thinking their ways cannot be changed.”

“Being cold to people is easy. Hating them easier still. Loving people is extremely difficult.”

“After all the despair and disillusion you still didn’t give up?”

“Good and evil are complex. Depending on where you stand, your view will be different.”

“Just a few hours ago I thought the world was beautiful, but that hell will stay with me forever now.”

 “I think this is the turning point of whether you can become a mage or remain human.”

“Are you telling me to quit practicing magic?”

“You can’t stomach people dying.”

“You’re right. I might’ve hesitated too much.”

“That pie is beckoning me! Let’s try some!”

“If it becomes too much, take this. It will ease the pain.”

“Humans are humans. Messed up people who’ll do good or bad as the circumstances demand.”

“In the end humans are just animals who happen to be slightly smarter than the others. They’re driven by greed, always forget favors but never slights. They aren’t worth lifting a finger to protect.”

“What about you? What do you think of humans?”

“How am I supposed to tell you that? There’s no right or wrong choice here.” 

“I do what I want, how I want. That responsibility is mine alone.”

“Are you still not done bothering me?”

“I’m not kind. I just run away from reality and can’t even decide what step to take next. I’m a failure.”

“It’s the last fight. Let’s pull ourselves together.”

Change Names pronouns and plurals as necessary! Feel free to add more!

“So what are you the devil?”

“ He’s not pressing charges. I mean, that’s got to be the “you shot me” equivalent of not being mad.“

“I’m gonna have a bruise! It’s picture day!“

“Weddings are basically funerals with cake.”

“You’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut yet malleable.”

“He’s not a hot girl. He can’t just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else’s.”

“But those bad thoughts are the real you. The fact that you’re old, the fact that we’re all going to die one day, the fact that the universe is so big, nothing in it matters—those facts are who you are! “

“I wish that shotgun was my penis.”

“Here’s five hundred dollars cash in unmarked moneys. I’m just gonna put it on the floor and uh, kick it on over to ya. You guys go nuts.“

“We’ve been split for twenty minutes and your lives are already scattered to the quantum fucking wind!”

 “How long exactly do I have to wear this things? It’s really embarrassing.“

“If we’re gonna survive tonight, you’re gonna need to harness your repressed rage.”

“Well I’m sorry, I’m not the one that’s so fucking uncertain about everything!“

“2003 called, it wants its easy target back.“

“We all got pink eye because you won’t stop texting on the toilet.“

“Trust me you don’t wanna know how many answers that question has.”

“Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me. At least when I’m disgusting, it’s on purpose.“

“You think maybe I could get something from this place? Like a souvenir? Like just to have, like something cool, you know? “

“You can run, but you can’t hide, bitch!“

“In my culture this is considered a dick move.”

“Psyche! Just kidding, my new catchphrase is: “I don’t give a fu-u-uck!!“”

“What? What teenage girl has pictures of her family? It’s not like we’re mormon or dying.“

“You guys, we got to hurry. I just got back from Walmart. They’re selling Nintendo 3ds systems for $149.99 on sale, plus every time you buy one, you get a $50 gift card. Brings the total price down to $110 after tax. Now, listen, we can flip those sons of bitches for 230 bucks apiece easy! They’re all limited-edition “Zelda” ones. Hurry! Hurry! Come with me! We can be rich, and we also all get to keep one and we can play nintendo games! Nintendo, give me free stuff.“

“ Oh, wow. That’s an intense line of questioning“

“I’ve got about a thousand memories of your dumb, little ass and about six of them are pleasant. The rest is annoying garbage. “

Have you acquired creepy specific old stuff from a mysterious antique or thrift store that gives you powers, but fucks with you in unforeseeable ways? 

“I don’t want him to leave again, you dumb asshole!!“

*  A MIXTURE OF VIKINGS PROMPTS , CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS AS NEEDED .

‘ You’re crazy! You have the mind of a child. ‘

‘ We knew each other a long time. Since I was a boy. ‘

‘ I shall be an empty ship with no rudder set upon their endless sea. ‘

‘ My opinion is that we should take the land. ‘

‘ You are not like anybody else. Be yourself, [ NAME ]. ‘

‘ What are they doing? Where are they going? ‘

‘ Oh, you crippled bastard! You were right! You were right! ‘

‘ Oh, you bloody, mad genius. You were right! ‘

‘ Perhaps, instead of a narrow and small place, we should stretch the battlefield. ‘

‘ If it works, it is a good plan. If it doesn’t, then it is a bad plan. ‘

‘ If I do it it is for you, not for me. I am dead anyway. ‘

‘ Perhaps they will spare you. ‘

‘ So this is what the grunting of the little pigs was all about? ‘

‘ I’ve been told your god is a carpenter. And guess what? So am I. ‘

‘ No, it’s a truth. I just don’t know what the truth is. ‘

‘ I will establish the battle plans, and I will give the orders. Do you understand that? ‘

‘ You’re not behaving like a king anymore. ‘

‘ You’re distracted, you’re withdrawn, you seem unsure, hesitant. ‘

‘ Once you were firm, you were strong. ‘

‘ I have begun to believe that being firm and strong was the illusion. ‘

‘ I am unsure now because it is the most honest way to be. ‘

‘ Not in the face of a great heathen army that have come to destroy us. ‘

‘ I don’t remember you asking permission to kill my mother. ‘

‘ Us? You are no longer a part of us, [ NAME ]. ‘

‘ You should have killed him when you had the chance. ‘

‘ I have a bad feeling that he will reach more fame than any of you. ‘

‘ I’ve come here for justice. Everyone knows that you killed my mother for no reason. ‘

‘ I no longer know who I am, why I’m here, what my purpose is. ‘

‘ I feel like an empty vessel. I need something to fill me up. ‘

‘ He’s a viking. You made a huge mistake releasing him. ‘

‘ No more killing. Not in here, not in this place. I forbid it. ‘

‘ If you want to kill these people, you have to kill me first. ‘

‘ How the little piggies will grunt when they hear how the old boar suffered. ‘

‘ But don’t worry, I can see you [ NAME ]. I can see you. ‘

‘ Shut up and listen, idiot. You have many gifts, and anger is a gift. ‘

‘ You do not think like other men. You are unpredictable. That will serve you well. ‘

‘ You emerge from the womb with only one thing on your mind…how to die. ‘

‘ Oh, so you thought by killing all of my people, that was mutually beneficial? ’

‘ One woman against another. it doesn’t quite fit with your reputation. ‘

‘ The fact that you’re a woman is neither here nor there. ‘

‘ How long do you think you can keep us prisoner, traitor? ‘

‘ We left sixty ships outside your port, full of Vikings.  ‘

‘ Don’t you think they will come knocking soon if we don’t return? ‘

‘ How do we know that we are going the right direction? ‘

‘ Once you realize that, that is when greatness will happen. ‘

‘ I bet you wish you would’ve killed me when I was born. ‘

‘ Your mistakes are yours, and so are your successes.. ‘

‘ Then tell me this, what calamity will befall us? ‘

‘ You are not my brother. You never have been. One of us will die today. ‘

‘ I chose you as my companion. I accept that you might not love me. ‘

‘ I know that my being the son of [ NAME ] has little meaning to you. ‘

‘ Everything has changed, for both of us. You must get used to it. ‘

‘ Yes we had an alliance, as equals, but as you can plainly see we are no longer equals. ‘

‘ You know this weakens you. This weakens you in every way. ‘

‘ What have I done to you? I haven’t done anything to you. I love you. ‘

‘ How can you love me when you sleep with every woman in [ PLACE ]? ‘

‘ The space between life and death. That’s where we are the most alive. ‘

‘ When everyone wanted you dead, I kept you alive. You hurt me, brother. ‘

‘ You’ve never spoken to me of [ NAME ] death. It must have broken your heart. ‘

‘ Come to me and I will put an end to your suffering and heal you… and make you free. ‘

‘ I would never give you any cause to kill me. ‘

‘ You’re free to go with her. I won’t be jealous.  ‘

‘ Why didn’t they hide you better from such innocent eyes? ‘

‘ It’s about loyalty. And trust. Something you can’t understand. ‘

‘ If you were free to choose, what would give you the most pleasure and satisfaction? ‘

‘ You were incapacitated, I thought it was the right thing to do. ‘

‘ You betrayed me. You betrayed my trust and my love for you. ‘

‘ I thought it was power that I wanted, it’s not true. All I ever really wanted was you. ‘

below are starters based on/inspired by various sources. change the genders as you see fit ;)

❝ why do you keep lying to me? ❞

❝ have you ever considered the idea that maybe, this world doesn’t revolve around you & your problems? ❞

❝ love is love is love is love. ❞

❝ marriage is an absurd arrangement. one is sold as a fifteen-year-old child and makes a vow one does not understand and then regrets for thirty years or more, and which one can never undo again. ❞

❝ why are you crying this time? ❞

❝ you will never escape. ❞

❝ this isn’t what I wanted! ❞

❝ everything has its consequences. ❞

❝ this face bears the mission of heaven. ❞

❝ no, you shall dismantle the house of lies, but build the temple of the divine. ❞

❝ one copper coin for a bowl of noodles! ❞

❝ that one has the heart of a lion. ❞

❝ I needed to be summoned. ❞

❝ there’s no reason for this hostility! I come in peace. ❞

❝ they died screaming. ❞

❝ why fight anymore? what’s the point of fighting against destiny? ❞

❝ how long have you known? ❞

❝ I can only speak for myself. ❞

❝ the law can be changed. ❞

❝ are you sure you’re not pregnant? ❞

❝ your child is adorable! ❞

❝ you gave him a riddle for his birthday? ❞

❝ you have no fucking right to treat me this way. ❞

❝ your ambition blinds you. ❞

❝ he adores you. ❞

❝ I feel like I should be shocked that you two had sex there, but I’m not anymore. ❞

❝ she’s going to kill you. ❞

❝ have you ever tried the cakes? they’re actually quite delicious. ❞

❝ you’ll need to be punished. ❞

❝ you should learn to lie better. ❞

❝ sometimes I wonder if you’re real. ❞

❝ I will take back what is mine & kill anyone who stands in my way. ❞

❝ then kill me. ❞

❝ there’s no such thing as love. there is only lust. ❞

❝ you’re selfish. you never think about anyone but yourself. ❞

❝ i’m sorry, but they’re gone. ❞

❝ death is just another adventure. ❞

❝ stop! ❞

❝ let them watch. ❞

❝ you have no shame, do you? ❞

❝ I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now. ❞

❝ I need advice. sex advice. ❞

❝ alright, tell me the truth, is he good in bed? ❞

❝ she is the best thing in my life. ❞

❝ you love him? ❞

❝ do you love me at all? ❞

❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞

❝ please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kill anyone! ❞

❝ history is written by the victorious. ❞

❝ at least she has a heart! you have none. ❞

❝ isn’t it more important that they told you? ❞

❝ the king is displeased. ❞

❝ long live your majesty! ❞

❝ can you stop talking for just one moment & listen to me? ❞

❝ no matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay dead. ❞

❝ he’s a gold digger. he’ll screw anyone & marry them as long as they have money. ❞

❝ o! how sweet love must be! ❞

❝ do you really think that? ❞

❝ quick, you need to hide before they see you! ❞

❝ you taught me to never trust anyone. ❞

❝ this is extreme, even for you. ❞

❝ you guys were pretty loud last night. I guess it was good? ❞

❝ that wasn’t an apology & you know it. ❞

❝ are you a virgin? ❞

❝ I’m married. ❞

❝ best thing I ever did was marrying you. ❞

❝ red roses won’t erase the fact that you broke my heart. ❞

❝ stop taking all the ice cream! ❞

❝ has anyone told you that you’re sort of a little bitch? ❞

❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞

❝ do you want to fight for your land back or not? ❞

❝ I never realized how much of a coward you are. ❞

❝ there’s nothing worse than someone who isn’t willing to try new things. ❞

❝ haven’t you ever wanted to escape? to leave this place & explore the world? ❞

❝ i think you’ve had enough to drink. ❞

❝ your ancestors would be ashamed if they saw you. ❞

❝ one of the dolls is missing! ❞

❝ are we going to die here? ❞

❝ well looks like we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a dilemma. ❞

❝ I am no longer a child! ❞

❝ the baby won’t stop crying! i don’t know what to do anymore! ❞

❝ what if something happens to them? ❞

❝ once upon a time, I gave a damn about what people thought about me. ❞

❝ if he can get away with this, then so can i! ❞

❝ the dark shall come & take everything you love from you. ❞

❝ it’s the same story over & over again. you’d think people would know better by now. ❞

❝ there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. ❞

❝ you are what is wrong with this world. ❞

❝ shattered dreams can drive anyone mad. ❞

❝ I am a phoenix. burn me & I shall return, rising from the ashes. ❞

❝ this is my home. ❞

❝ home is where the heart is, where you feel safe & warm & loved. ❞

❝ running away has never solved a damn thing! ❞

❝ fuck me. ❞

❝ oh the things I’d do to you if we were alone. ❞

❝ stop, he’s not here, remember? he’s gone & he can’t hurt you anymore. ❞

❝ your husband/wife – is he/she good to you? ❞

❝ stop & think a moment, you have to stay & rest. there’s a child who needs you now, you can’t just run & be a fucking idiot. ❞

❝ once, I drank a whole bottle by myself. ❞

My muse is touch starved, send one for your muse to-

triggering  /  nsfw   may  be  present ,  these  are  taken  from  a  variety  of   different  sources.

​❝ Love your perfume. What is that? The stench of death? ❞

❝ Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape? ❞

❝ We’re bad guys. It’s what we do. ❞

​❝ I’m known to be quite vexing. I’m just forewarning you. ❞

❝ You’re cute. You want me? I’m all yours.  ❞

❝ Why, what’s wrong? You don’t like me? Fine. Don’t waste my time then.  ❞

​❝ You got all dressed up for me? ❞

​❝ Why do you eat people? Would you like to eat me? ❞

​❝ I’m bored! I need a victim, a mind to pry apart and spit in. ❞

​❝ You wanna tell me what the hell is going on, then? ❞

​❝ You ever been in love? ❞

​❝ Own that shit. Own it! What’d you think was gonna happen? Huh? ❞

​❝ I’m not much of a joiner, but… maybe we should. ❞

​❝ What’s the world ever done for us, anyway? It hates us. ❞

​❝ I gotta work on my cardio. ❞

​❝ I’ve never seen you laugh before! I don’t think I like it! ❞

​❝ You give ‘em twenty minutes of naughty fun time and they think they own ya! ❞

❝ You think I’m just some dizzy airhead that don’t know nothin’. ❞

​❝ You’re gonna make me do it, aren’t you? ❞

​❝ Anyone who throws boomerangs has some real issues letting go. ❞

​❝ I’m fine. We’re done. He’s a jerk. Whatever. ❞

​❝ I got an itch I thought you could help me scratch, cowboy… ❞

​❝ Oh well, at least I’m going out on a joke.  ❞

❝ I’m sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over or blow me up! ❞

❝ Get your own hostage! ❞

❝ You thought I was just another bubble-headed blond bimbo! ❞

❝ Well, the joke’s on you, 'cause I’m not even a real blonde. ❞

❝ I want to listen to the radio! ❞

❝ Gee, it’s amazing the things you find in people’s glove compartments. ❞

❝ Did you see the way I handled those creeps? Pow! Bam! ❞

❝ I’m keeping this one just for myself… maybe.  ❞

❝ I think we can still work it out, don’t you? ❞

❝ I believe I served you with a subpoena once… It was a small subpoena. ❞

❝ Gee, boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. ❞

❝ My boss likes me to wear a smile to work… ❞

❝ No more love. No more crime. No more nothing. I’m through… ❞

❝ Take a break and play a while, doo da, doo da. ❞

❝ Oy. Beauty school is starting to look pretty good about now. ❞

❝ Sweetie, go get mommy’s bazooka. ❞

❝ I struggle to make a good home for you and this is the thanks I get! ❞

❝ It’s you. The way you move… The way you… ❞

❝ It’d be a shame to get blood all over my nice new outfit. ❞

❝ Ready for some slapstick? ❞

❝ I had a kitty once. You know, they don’t always land on their feet.. ❞

❝ We’ve got lots of cash-ching! We’ve got so much cash-ching! ❞

❝ Why won’t you tell me how you broke my hypnosic spell? ❞

❝ You wanna play? Okay, let’s play! ❞

❝ You’re really sick, you know that, boss? ❞

❝ Well, well, well. Looks like someone’s luck ran out. ❞

❝ Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! We-we killed him! ❞

❝ Sometimes, to get where you want to go, you gotta be somebody else for a while. ❞

❝ You just can’t forget who you really are. ❞

❝ Just goes to show you, never send a business man to do a psychopath’s job. ❞

❝ It shouldn’t be too difficult. Just follow the mayhem. ❞

❝ If I had a hammer, I’d hammer the evening, I’d hammer in the morning, all over your skull! ❞

❝ Actually I don’t know, I am rarely in it. ❞

❝ I am to busy doing the job you neglected to do. ❞

❝ Well, you should be more careful, [ NAME ].  ❞

❝ To what do we attribute this sudden cheerful outlook? ❞

❝ We got his credit cards; what’s to worry? ❞

❝ Wait! Want to see a movie? ❞