too swift arrives as tardy as too slow

put yr orientation and favorite frozen drink in the tags

pisces:

Akkadian

Arabic

Aramaic

Church Slavonic

Egyptian (hieroglyphics and Demotic)

Elamite

Ethiopic (Ge’ez)

Etruscan

Gaulish

Georgian

Gothic

Greek

Hebrew

Hittite

Latin

Mayan (various related languages/dialects)

Old Chinese

Old English

Old French

Old Frisian

Old High German

Old Irish

Old Norse

Old Persian

Old Turkic

Sanskrit

Sumerian

Syriac

Ugaritic

So who esle on here is following the AfD Cola Wars™? So far, we’ve had Coca-Cola, Pepsi, fritz-kola, and Vita Cola. 

What’s going on, you ask? Well. 

1) Coca Cola: There was a fake Coca-Cola ad condemning the AfD (Alternative for Germany, our resident right-wing party which is chock-full of actual neo-nazis), which was then posted on social media (German link about the story here):

(For a tranquil/reflective (this word is damn hard to translate!) time: Say no to AfD!)

AfD fans online were outraged and declared they wouldn’t drink Coca-Cola anymore

The “Director Public Affairs & Communications“ at Coca-Cola Deutschland, Patrick Kammerer, retweeted the picture, saying “Not every fake is wrong”; and the official Coca-Cola Germany account retweeted his tweet.

2) Pepsi: Someone at the AfD then digintally created and shared this picture:

(For a tranquil/reflective time: Say yes to AfD!)

Guess who wasn’t happy? The answer on FB from the official Pepsi account said this:

The poster on this picture is definitely not from Pepsi. We emphatically distance outselves from this political appropriation of the Pepsi brand and are looking into taking legal action against the creator for violation of our trademark rights.

3) fritz-kola: In response to Coca-Cola, this guy wanted to boycott them and, on December 6th, tweeted this (German link about it all here):

(After work a #kola)

Apparently, he didn’t know that fritz-kola is about the most politically minded beverage company in all of Germany, and surprise, they’re not fans of the AfD, they’re leftists. On December 7th, this happened on their twitter:

(280 characters aren’t much. but they’re enough for a big thank you! thanks to all the fritz-friends and all the great people out there who stand for lots of #diversity, #tolerance and togetherness! not everyone likes it, but it’s right! #wearemore) (the signs say stuff like “no kola for fascists”, “open eyes intead of blind hate”, “human rights instead of right-wing humans” etc.)

One might have known, considering they tweeted stuff like this in the past:

4) Vita Cola: Vita Cola is an East-German cola brand. On the 9th, Björn Höcke (oder Bernd, wie heißt der denn nu, verdammt!? ;) tweeted the following:

(Picture: There is an alternative to everything, not only in politics…

Text below: In Thuringia, we drink #VitaCola. This soda is by now market leader here, more popular than #CocaCola. Of course I wish lots of success to our local businesses.) 

Well. This is what Vita Cola had to say (German link here):

The statements issued by Björn Höcke on social media were unknown to us beforehand and were neither authorised nor commissioned by us. Moreover, there is no connection at all and therefore no advertising contract between Mr Höcke and the brand Vita Cola. We would also like to note that we do not see these statements ad an advertisement for Vita Cola.

We generally have no influence on personal opinions voiced on Vita Cola online. As brand we are and behave neutrally and will not be instrumentalised for political strife between parties or in connection with other brands. We hereby distance ourselves from any political misappropriation as well. Instead, Vita Cola stands, among other things, for cosmopolitanism and tolerance.”

Yeah. Looks pretty grim for AfD members and fans who want to drink cola whose manufacturers like right-wing ideology. But at least it’s good for their health if they boycott them?

5) afri cola: AfD politician Malte Kaufmann (he who tried fritz kola before) now drinks afri cola (German link) and writes this:

(I now drink another cola every evening and learn something about the political opinions of the manufacturers. Let’s see if #afri cola will make a statement for diversity, humanity, openness & tolerance. Cheers!)

And the response from afri cola when someone told them about it on FB:

(Hello and thanks for the message. afri cola stands for pop culture, i. e. freedom and tolerance. afri will not let itself be warped, used or misappropriated by political or other groups. greetings from afri)

——————

I’d posted this in my drafts last night. And then today when I went online, this had happened (German link): 

6) Sinalco: Before anyone from the AfD could even try to post themselves with a fizzy drink from sinalco, they posted this:

Say no to facism.

“but a lot of us see ao3 as a safe space to get away from that kind of nasty content” - lol you can see the middle of a busy interstate as a safe space all you want too but that doesn’t mean that you get to walk into the road and scream at all the cars going by that they’re the ones infringing on your safe space either

Exactly. Fandom could create spaces where all of the ‘problematic’ fic is hidden by default, unless people go out of their way to find it. Fandom could go back to online platforms with moderated, members-only communities, where content is visible only to people who were vetted to join the communities.

Jacob Seed M/M Fics: 

Animals by @edensgay : [Summary] The Deputy was playing that song again. Jacob was almost certain that the Deputy was trying his own methods of classical conditioning. He had a playlist of ‘Songs to Boink to’ also known as songs to cover up the perpetual wailing that came from the forest. ]

Untitled by @weekend-writer​ : Deputy Dylan!!! A Legend in my eyes!!! [Prompt] “Did you just crack a joke?”

Any and all of @thewhistleblowingtechie‘s fics, which can be found on AO3: HERE. (There are 35!!! With many being Jacob/male Deputy/reader/OC). 

Jacob Seed Gender Neutral Fics:

(I added them to this list too because there are far more and there’s no mention of any gender in them (that I noticed). Given that, I thought you as a reader could determine the character’s sex/gender/sexuality… I hope that’s okay!)

Devotion by @doodwrites : NSFW (eventually - I haven’t seen any really sexual stuff yet, if you’re trying to avoid that) - I can’t say enough about this fic. Not only is it a Choose Your Own Adventure (which I love), with different outcomes, but it’s gender neutral and whatever you decide your character’s sex/gender/sexuality is, it is.

The Hunt by @doodwrites : NSFW - This was a part of a paranormal series, but I’ve linked the Jacob specific one here - he’s a werewolf in this.

Untitled by @doodwrites : [Prompt] Rook finding the way to change those anxious Jacob video broadcasts with the vine of the guy going ‘in all levels except physical I’m a wolf *tiny bark*’ in repeat. The You’re being hunted sign appears right away.

Untitled by @radiojamming : [Prompt] can I request a reader/Jacob fic where they get stuck in the woods or something and have to snuggle for warmth and Jacob is Unhappy™️ about it but secretly loves it 

Untitled by @radiojamming : [Prompt] A fic where Jacob gets sick and the dep has to take care of him. He’s all cranky but loving it.

Untitled by @radiojamming : [Prompt] Jacob goes to the Deputy’s cage, getting them ready for their training only to see they’re sick, high fever.

Untitled by @radiojamming : [Prompt] Au where Rook was a pro wrestler before being a sheriff and just fuckin. Piledrives Jacob from up in a tree 

Untitled by @radiojamming / @darkworkcourier : NSFW - THIS IS IN MY TOP 5 FICS CATEGORY AND EVERYONE SHOULD READ IT, IF THEY LIKE THE SOFT STUFF. [Prompt] okay but soft n loving jake????? that’s that good shit and u r the monarch of soft jacob, so how abt him getting the wind knocked out of him because he almost lost his partner, who he hadn’t actually realized he was as attached to as he is, and the subsequent lovin’

Untitled by @weekend-writer : Sort of NSFW - [Prompt] “Ready or not, here I come.”

There’s reward money involved. A recent update to censorship law raised the maximum reward for reporting illicit online materials to 50k yuan (7000 USD), so some people are reporting porn like crazy right now, and apparently, BL fandoms have been especially targeted, where some even more tame things got maliciously misreported. 

Anyway, it’s a mess. Content creators are just disappearing off the face of the internet left and right. Expect an influx of Chinese porn fics on AO3. 

CTNG news

MSN.com

China is using this act as a way of controling the freedom of speech, it’s not just a matter of “no homo”. They just use the fandom content creators as an easy target and a way to scare people off from writing and publishing things the government doesn’t like.

China is living the Nineteen Eighty-Four novel. Please don’t post chinese fan works, especially not with their original chinese artists/writers right now. You could literally ruin their life.