study of the ancient

Hello, Cascade! Today marks the first day of our very first meme weekend! We thought now felt like the perfect time to get to know all your lovely characters just a little bit more. If you have a busy weekend and can't participate, fear not! This is just the first of what we hope are many meme weekends to come. How it'll work here at Cascade: We'll make an announcement post, just like this one, that has the selected 1-3 ask memes linked for the weekend. If you wish to participate, you'll reblog this post onto any character of yours that you'd like to receive questions. Afterwards, spread the love! Send questions to your fellow muns that you see have reblogged this post, either straight from the dash or by taking a peek at the notes. Meme questions can be sent until Sunday night, but answered whenever. If y'all have any memes you think would be fun to use in the future, please send them our way! Make sure your ask boxes are open, anon is on, and have fun!

The Memes:

Details About Characters

"Hey, hey, hey! You are not losing your mind... you're just in a bit of an overcast season. Nothing to get frazzled over." It was temporary. The pressures of work, managing their own thoughts, and those of a potential situationship of sorts. "You found your way back to each other... that's natural. You like him, yes? Is it possible that you could potentially rewrite a future with them? Sure...but you're the only person who can dictate whether they have the capacity to walk through it with him again." There would never be judgment from her. Relationships and love were tricky things. If the world had figured it out by now, it would be in utopia. "You need to give yourself more grace, Nil."

"... Maybe I should add a stripper or two to deliver the box. Perhaps that'll convince her not to press charges." Would be worth it. Especially if it meant Darlene would back off on airing her dirty laundry for... A week or two. She exhaled uneasily. She has spent years delivering results, especially multiple times per year. Her sales have never failed to be good and her reviews were continuously acclaimed. She knew, deep down, that her contract would still be good. That sooner or later, she'll get out of this slump and write. It was the not knowing when that will happen that was frustrating. "I know you're right. I just... wish it'll be soon. I love all the stories and worlds I've created, and it sucks not being able to properly write them out like I want to."

To  love  someone  so  wholly,  for  them  to  be  the  center  of  your  universe,  and  then  for  them  to  leave  was  a  heartbreak  and  betrayal  that  Cash  still  struggled  with.  Mostly  because  it  turned  his  mother  into  a  villain,  and  from  that  he'd  learned  he  never  wanted  to  be  the  person  to  inflict  that  kind  of  pain  upon  someone.

Yet,  every  time  he  looked  at  Nilay  he  could  see  the  damage  he'd  done,  the  pain  he'd  caused,  and  he  couldn't  find  a  way  to  reconcile  that.  It  was  that  classic  trope  of  hurting  himself  by  hurting  her.  In  some  ways  Cash  wanted  her  to  distance  herself  from  him,  he  wanted  to  push  her  away,  because  he  couldn't  see  a  way  out  or  a  way  to  make  things  right.  Once  something  was  broken  it  could  never  be  made  complete  again.  The  cracks  would  always  be  there  like  scar  tissue  no  matter  how  far  grown  over.

When  they'd  come  together,  usually  by  way  of  tense  emotions  and  frustrations  getting  the  better  of  them,  it  felt  right  when  she  was  in  his  bed  again  or  he  in  hers.  Then  the  time  came  when  they  were  back  in  their  heads  and  out  of  their  bodies  and  everything  was  in  ruin  again.

"Three?  At  one  time?  Nilay..."  It  was  a  worried  look  that  went  her  direction  in  the  midst  of  his  cooking.  In  his  t-shirt  his  arm  was  working  quickly  whisking  the  waffle  batter  together  and  when  it  was  good  he  set  it  aside  and  plugged  in  the  waffle  maker.  "You  ever  think  you're  doing  too  much?  Pushing  too  hard?"  He  was  often  the  voice  that  told  her  to  take  breaks,  to  get  out  of  her  head  and  get  some  air.

It  sounded  like  writer's  block.  Her  head  elsewhere.  Perhaps  even  the  emotional  pain  was  drawing  her  away.  Which  made  him  feel  even  more  guilty  as  he  watched  her  lean  onto  the  island  with  a  glance  her  way.  Taking  in  a  heavy  breath,  Cash  then  greased  the  waffle  maker  and  poured  some  batter  in.  Some  eggs  were  tossed  into  a  pan  and  he  began  pushing  those  around  while  the  first  waffle  cooked.  Right  then  he  could  almost  fool  himself  that  nothing  bad  had  happened,  that  they  were  still  them  from  before  a  few  months  ago.

"Nothing  new  in  my  life.  Finn's  is  Finn's."  A  small  smile  was  flashed  her  way.  Cash  knew  it  wasn't  much  but  there  wasn't  anything  groundbreaking  to  share  in  the  past  few  months.  When  bad  things  happened  he  retreated,  became  someone  that  went  through  the  motions  while  he  processed.  The  waffle  maker  was  flipped  and  soon  after  he  plated  the  eggs.  "It's  just  weird.  For  a  couple  of  years  there  my  life  was  completely  different  and  now  I'm  back  to  this...  emptiness."

"Cash..." Nilay has always kept her hands busy. As a child, it was a means to avoid the worst of her fosters. And while the habit has helped her to accomplish far more than was typically necessary for one her age, it was one she still struggled to break. She wasn't a little kid anymore. She didn't need to always be on the run juggling multiple things at once. Yet it was comforting to know that even when her world's falling apart, she had plenty of things to focus on.

So this being as hard as it was? Well, the answer was standing before her. Even when she couldn't admit how exhausted she was or how she needed to step away, Cash was right there. Ready to guide her and provide her with the rest she knew she needed. So, now, she was at an impasse: the very man who reminded her that she could simply be and not need to always be doing something, was the very man who occupied her thoughts and made it impossible to write.

Tucking her curls behind her ear, she looked up at him. "I'll take a break soon." This certainly felt like old times. "I've... sort of been thinking of taking a sabbatical from the university. I'm not entirely sure when, but production for Daevabad should be starting potentially next year and I want to make sure everything's perfect for it while also figuring out the Amina deal. I'll take things easy soon. I promise."

The idea of a break sounded unlike her. But as Nur got older, ensuring she was able to be with her was a top priority. Time was precious. Nilay knew that all too well.

Then perhaps you should end this mess and try to work on your relationship. The ever-present thought returned. She couldn't count how often she's thought about it, especially after their brief reunions, and how many times she's almost voiced it to him. The uncertainty of if he wanted the same, however, was what kept blocking her. It was agonizing, realizing that merely a year ago, she was so certain that she knew him inside and out, knew his thoughts so clearly, and had nothing to worry about. Only to now look at him and feel as though she was staring at a closed book. To second guess herself on if he held the same feelings and thoughts as her.

Which made the pang in her heart ache worse as he gave her that gentle smile. Followed with his confession, her gaze fell back down to her coffee. It was scary knowing exactly how much they've changed each other. How their entire lives became so different all because they chose to be in each other's life and then intertwine the two together. How much the breakup changed them both entirely and how life no longer felt the same. How utterly bizarre was love and being loved?

As he set down her plate, she slowly made her way over. Being closer to him, walking closer to him, she had the thought to set down her mug with her food and continued over to him. Just wrap her arms around him with her face pressed against his back, holding onto him and not letting go. It took great strength to refrain from doing so as she instead took her seat. Yet she couldn't pull her eyes away from Cash. Watching him for a moment. "Thank you," she offered her own soft smile. Finally pulling away so she could add the syrup, butter, and seasonings to how she liked them.

She froze. Her knife hovering over her waffle as she swallowed thickly. "Easier...?" The small sound that escaped... Was it a humourless laugh or a pain-filled scoff? She couldn't say for certain as she quietly set her knife down. Her lips pressed firmly together. Easier... Sure, she had Nur, the cats, and the dogs. They helped to occupy her thoughts and her time. Yet what about those last few months of the schoolyear? How she struggled being on campus, teaching in the classroom, and grading work because of Cash, of her friendship with her colleague imploding, of the rumours being spread about her and said-colleague? How much of her content did she spend weeks on that shouldn't taken no more than a few days, constantly doing reshoots because she can't focus? How about during her recent book tour for the Amina sequel and how many fans noticed she wasn't entirely all there? How behind is she on her books?