Arcana Simp

Man like Once Upon a Time was really hampered by a lot of things- like coming out at the same time as Grimm, or being owned by Disney and thus restricted to only using the Disney versions of fairytale characters, or being badly written, or being badly written, or being badly written- but damn dude in the fuckable old man cinematic universe they really knocked it out of the park with Mr. Gold. He was sexy, he was powerful, he was greasy, he was unhinged, he was a weird little rat man, he was the universe’s most special little princess, he was a Machiavellian mastermind, he was a bad SNL sketch, he wore tailored suits and wet leather, he used cologne but reeked like a sewer, everyone hated him and wanted to be him, skin like an alligator, hair like a Beatle, served cunt every day in a town of like twelve people, his dick did not work even a little bit, he was the movement, the moment, bitch, lover, child, and mother all in one. We will never see his like again and tbh thank god.

they gave that fifty year old man a fuck ass bob and some skin tight leather pants and he took them and gave us one of the best television performances of the 2010s

date night! i’m bleeding out in your bathtub

this blog is a placeholder for now but please interact valdemar fuckers please im begging

every assassin you've tried to send after me desires me carnally

"i could fix him" good for you i guess. i could be the only thing he's truly afraid of.

"i could fix him" i could break him. i could snap that fucker in half

if u register satanic imagery as any kind of genuine threat... sucks to be you.... devils and flaming skulls are so cool and pretty to look at. youre missing out on all these epic devils and flaming skulls dude

Seeing Prince Philip had died and immediately opening tumblr to see if anyone had made memes about it yet, really says a lot about me as a person.