King of Gondor

What game feels like "home" to you no matter when you come back to it?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

i draw a lot. Don't know if anyone cares or even wants to see this but oh well

Wof dragons I've made. And a fallout 4 Hancock drawing that looks like shit

serrat and doomslayer headcannons

1: serrat will act like a dog sometimes. Like wagging his tail at the doomslayer or dropping random things off at his feet

these are doom the dark ages incorrect quotes, and yes the doomslayer is the one who's insane

kreed maykr: *Gives a bouquet to doomslayer* doomslayer: You know I'm allergic. kreed maykr: That's the point.

doomslayer: You say “Please” and “Thank you” in front of king novik all the time, and they never repeat it. doomslayer: But you call kreed maykr “Ass-faced motherfucker” ONE TIME…

doomslayer: thira , I swear I didn’t know valen was coming over. I always ominously clean my assault weapons on the coffee table like that. It had nothing to do with you!

doomslayer: I’m terrible at expressing myself. valen: Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words! doomslayer: Yes, but my actions are also bad.

kreed maykr: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation? doomslayer: All the time. kreed maykr: Then you should be used to it by now.

ahzrak, talking to doomslayer: With all due respect, which is none…

doomslayer, excitedly: Heeyy!! valen: Hey, someone's excited. kreed maykr, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

valen: doomslayer, no. doomslayer: doomslayer, yes.

doomslayer: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

king novik: *looks at doomslayer* king novik: Baby boy. Baby. king novik: *looks at kreed maykr* king novik: Evil.

ahzrak: doomslayer isn’t answering my messages. valen: Allow me. ahzrak: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi- doomslayer: *replying to message* Hello.

ahzrak: *Gets down on one knee* doomslayer: Oh my god! It’s finally happening! ahzrak: *Collapses* doomslayer: The poison’s kicking in!

doomslayer: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way. valen: But your way is sheer force!

ahzrak: What if mayonnaise came in cans? Kreed maykr: Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal. doomslayer: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

doomslayer: I think I need a hug... valen: Good thing I'm hug shaped! *45 minutes later* doomslayer: You... you can let go now. valen: No, I absolutely cannot.

doomslayer: Hey, kreed maykr. What kind of flowers do you prefer? Kreed maykr: I like sunflowers. doomslayer, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: Well, shit-

doomslayer: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

doomslayer: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?! ahzrak: We don’t do anything with dignity!

King novik, about thira : I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with them is way funnier. doomslayer: That's what any god probably thinks about me.

valen: You kidnapped doomslayer?! That’s illegal! maykr drone: But valen, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing doomslayer, or giving up on our hopes and dreams? valen: Kidnapping doomslayer, kreed maykr! Kreed maykr: valen, listen. However I feel about this, these guys are counting on you to inspire them! valen: What, to kidnap people? Kreed maykr: To work together! valen: To kidnap people?! Kreed maykr: valen, we’ve all agreed that doomslayer is not a people.

doomslayer: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. King novik: We’re not friends. doomslayer, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

doomslayer: What’s up? I’m back. ahzrak: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead. doomslayer: Death is a social construct.

valen: Your smile looks forced. doomslayer: That’s because it is.

king novik: Look, doomslayer, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

doomslayer: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.

doomslayer: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked* Kreed maykr: What did you do?! doomslayer: NOBODY DIED! Kreed maykr: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

valen: So, doomslayer, do you have a crush on anyone? doomslayer: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety.

*doomslayer is laying on the floor with their eyes closed* kreed maykr: Hey, are they sleeping or dead? ahzrak: Hopefully dead, I hated them. kreed maykr: Yeah, me too. doomslayer, sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.

ahzrak: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way. doomslayer: I almost died. ahzrak: That... was my favorite memory.

thira : What's worse than a heartbreak? ahzrak: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. valen: Waking up in the morning. doomslayer: Waking up.

doomslayer: Screw lactose intolerance! I will consume as much dairy as I want! doomslayer 2 hours later, crying on the floor: WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!

doomslayer: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

doomslayer: Life is like maykr drone. It's short.

king novik: That's it, you're grounded! kreed maykr, no adventures for you! ahzrak, no fighting for you! thira , no stealing for you! And doomslayer... oh my god, is there anything that you love? doomslayer: Revenge. king novik: No vengeance for you. doomslayer: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.

thira : You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? doomslayer: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. thira: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. doomslayer: But I heard a siren. king novik: That was valen. valen: Sorry, I got nervous.

ahzrak: Hey, do you know the password to doomslayer’s computer? King novik: Fuck you, ahzrak. ahzrak: Hey!! King novik: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouahzrak". ahzrak: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

doomslayer: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

King novik, on the phone: What’s up, doomslayer? doomslayer: I’m sitting in a pool of blood. King novik: …Um, is it YOUR blood? doomslayer: I think so. King novik: Do you know where the blood’s coming from? doomslayer: Probably the stab wound. King novik: YOU’VE BEEN STABBED?! doomslayer: Oh, yeah, definitely.

doomslayer: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

doomslayer: ahzrak... ahzrak: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

*doomslayer rushes by with an armful of water bottles* king novik: What's going on? valen: doomslayer wouldn't drink water. king novik: ...And? valen: And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle. doomslayer, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

doomslayer: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times. thira: You mean you stabbed them? doomslayer: They ran into my knife.

Kreed maykr: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on doomslayer without them noticing? maykr drone: Hey, doomslayer, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny. doomslayer: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser. keeed maykr: ...

valen, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? doomslayer: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle* doomslayer: doomslayer: It's perfume.

doomslayer: I am darkness. I am a power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- king novik: A doll. Valen: A cinnamon roll. Thira: A sweetheart. doomslayer: doomslayer: ...stop it.

doomslayer: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

king novik: Italics. doomslayer: Yeah, Italians.

doomslayer: If you water water, it grows. kreed maykr: ...What. thira: They've got a point.

doomslayer: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

thira : When do you usually go to sleep? doomslayer: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

doomslayer: I hope no one lowkey hates me. doomslayer: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. doomslayer: Go big or go home.

*the Squad cleaning up* valen: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. Keed maykr, to doomslayer: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

doomslayer, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

doomslayer: Who the fuck- maykr drone: Language! doomslayer: Whom the fuck- maykr drone: No.

doomslayer: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Kidnapper: I have your partner. valen: What? I don't have a partner... Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face? valen: Oh my god, you have doomslayer.

doomslayer: Eat shit and die, maykr drone!!! maykr drone: Eat shit and live, doomslayer.

king novik: I need life advice. doomslayer, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

doomslayer, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. king novik: But how- doomslayer, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? doomslayer: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

doomslayer: I can’t believe my birth certificate says F... doomslayer: ...How did I fail being born?

valen: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. doomslayer: Killed without hesitation.

kreed maykr: You remind me of the ocean. doomslayer: Because I'm deep and mysterious? kreed maykr: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

maykr drone: What the hell is wrong with you? doomslayer: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

King novik, Entering ahzrak's room: doomslayer did it again. Valen: Peace disturbance? King novik: What no- Valen: Arson..? King novik: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- Valen: uh....Attempted murder? King novik: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

king novik: Yes, I'm adopting doomslayer and you cowards can't tell me no!

king novik: Are you a cuddler? doomslayer: I'm a machine of death and destruction. king novik: doomslayer: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

ahzrak: *Locks doomslayer in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child. doomslayer: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

kreed maykr: What's two plus two? doomslayer: Math. kreed maykr: ...I will accept that answer.

doomslayer: *coughs blood* Valen: Don't die, doomslayer! doomslayer: Don't tell me what to do!

thira : A-are you sure this is safe?! doomslayer: Oh, quit being such a baby. It’s perfectly safe! …For me!

doomslayer: thira .. I'm gonna cry! thira: Please don't. doomslayer, crying: Request denied.

doomslayer: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. valen: No, that's not how you make cookies. thira: FLOOR IT!! doomslayer: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? valen: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- doomslayer: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! king novik: DO IT! valen: NO-

king novik, answering the phone: Hello? doomslayer: It’s doomslayer. king novik: What did they do this time? doomslayer: No, it’s me, doomslayer. It’s actually me. king novik: What did you do this time?

king novik, skipping rocks on a lake with doomslayer: It’s such a beautiful evening. doomslayer: Yeah, it is. doomslayer: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

thira: What do you want for breakfast, doomslayer? doomslayer: Gay Cheerios. thira: I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING FRUIT LOOPS THAT!!

valen: Why are you drinking? doomslayer: I drink when I'm depressed. valen: But you're always drinking? doomslayer: *smug grin*

*valen and doomslayer are texting* valen: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone. doomslayer: What did they change my name to? valen: Chosen One. doomslayer: Don’t change it back. valen: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?! doomslayer: I’m the chosen one.

doomslayer: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner. thira: doomslayer, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck. doomslayer: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not. thira: Well, I mean yeah. doomslayer: So come downstairs while they’re still hot. thira: Wait, you just made them? doomslayer: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets. thira: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time doomslayer.

thira: Hey, can I get a sip of that water? doomslayer: It’s not water. thira: Vodka! I like your sty- doomslayer: It’s vinegar. thira: …What? doomslayer: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

doomslayer: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

doomslayer: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. maykr drone: But did I make you cry? doomslayer: *cries on the spot* maykr drone: ...Shit.

king novik: doomslayer, why does your bucket list have ‘Die’ on it? doomslayer: So I can die feeling at least a little bit accomplished.

doomslayer: You can't wake up if you never got to sleep.

valen: doomslayer, what are you doing? doomslayer: Making chocolate pudding. valen: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding? doomslayer: Because I've lost control of my life.

*The Squad is eating dinner* valen: Can you pass the salt? doomslayer: *throws kreed maykr across the table*

king novik: doomslayer, what do you have? doomslayer: A KNIFE! king novik: Okay, have fu- ahzrak: NO!

doomslayer: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference. doomslayer: Anyways, you said valen is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

king novik: Do you take constructive criticism? doomslayer: Not without crying

valen: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material. doomslayer: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

doomslayer: You’re giving me a sticker? king novik: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” doomslayer: I’m not a preschooler. king novik: Fine, I’ll take it back- doomslayer: I earned this, back off!

doomslayer: What? I'm not aggressive! valen: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips? doomslayer: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

king novik: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK! doomslayer: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

doomslayer: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

doomslayer: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to kreed maykr and not do the thing, doomslayer: Well there’s a clear right answer here. doomslayer: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

king novik: doomslayer, are you drinking… drinking hydrogen peroxide?! doomslayer: It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water!

ahzrak: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me. doomslayer: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

doomslayer: It is 6:09 . doomslayer: I am wondering why I’m still alive. doomslayer: Send Wendy’s. king novik: The whole restaurant?!

king novik: You're smiling. What happened? kreed maykr: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? valen: doomslayer tripped and fell down the stairs today.

doomslayer: Cronch. doomslayer: You hear that? That's the sound of me eating sticks. thira: No, don’t— doomslayer: Too late.

doomslayer, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. valen: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? doomslayer: I have depression, what do you think?

doomslayer: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess? king novik: Your life? doomslayer: I- well yes, but-

doomslayer: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.

thira: What are the hardest things to say? kreed maykr: I was wrong. doomslayer: I need help. Valen: Worcestershire sauce.

MAJOR DOOM THE DARK AGES SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!! DONT READ ON IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED OR ARNT DONE

i draw a lot when I'm bored

!!¡SPOILERS!!¡