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Announcing OpenSO alpha testing š§Ŗ Signups are open now!
OpenSO is a revival of FreeSO, a fan-hosted recreation of The Sims Online, upgraded with a modern foundation:
Runs on .NET 10 LTS with the latest MonoGame. GitHub Actions automatically builds client, server, and updated shaders for all platforms.
A C# launcher replacing the old Electron one, with an integrated patcher and self-updater.
Replaced the Mina.NET dependency with a rewritten networking and buffer stack supporting TLS end-to-end encryption.
Updated rendering pipeline: dynamic frame rates >60FPS, resolution scaling, new AA options, and optional post-processing effects for 3D mode.
New features: rebuilt Create-A-Sim with zoom & rotation plus larger icons; edit your Sim's gender, appearance, and skintone at any time from the Select-A-Sim menu; a Social Bunny NPC who shows up to help your Social need when your Sim is alone. š°
Fixed long-standing nitpicks, like the window scaling/mouse glitch.
Always free and open source, with no pay-to-win or donation perks.
OpenSO is early in development, so things may break or be rough around the edges. Expect frequent updates.
Player feedback will be crucial in shaping the game's direction. Once the foundation is tested under a real player load, the beta release can shift focus to new content & gameplay changes while staying faithful to the original game ā as well as events, documentation, tools, and quality-of-life features.
The alpha provides starting funds of $100k to begin building. The testing world, Genesis, will be wiped for the public beta.
Signups are open now and public for anyone who wants to help playtest, report bugs, or contribute ideas and changes.
š Sign up + download: openso.org
š¬ Discord: discord.gg/3U3sqPnPB7
š» Code: github.com/voicemxil/OpenSO
not affiliated with EA, no copyrighted assets included
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
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Announcing OpenSO alpha testing š§Ŗ Signups are open now!
OpenSO is a revival of FreeSO, a fan-hosted recreation of The Sims Online, upgraded with a modern foundation:
Runs on .NET 10 LTS with the latest MonoGame. GitHub Actions automatically builds client, server, and updated shaders for all platforms.
A C# launcher replacing the old Electron one, with an integrated patcher and self-updater.
Replaced the Mina.NET dependency with a rewritten networking and buffer stack supporting TLS end-to-end encryption.
Updated rendering pipeline: dynamic frame rates >60FPS, resolution scaling, new AA options, and optional post-processing effects for 3D mode.
New features: rebuilt Create-A-Sim with zoom & rotation plus larger icons; edit your Sim's gender, appearance, and skintone at any time from the Select-A-Sim menu; a Social Bunny NPC who shows up to help your Social need when your Sim is alone. š°
Fixed long-standing nitpicks, like the window scaling/mouse glitch.
Always free and open source, with no pay-to-win or donation perks.
OpenSO is early in development, so things may break or be rough around the edges. Expect frequent updates.
Player feedback will be crucial in shaping the game's direction. Once the foundation is tested under a real player load, the beta release can shift focus to new content & gameplay changes while staying faithful to the original game ā as well as events, documentation, tools, and quality-of-life features.
The alpha provides starting funds of $100k to begin building. The testing world, Genesis, will be wiped for the public beta.
Signups are open now and public for anyone who wants to help playtest, report bugs, or contribute ideas and changes.
š Sign up + download: openso.org
š¬ Discord: discord.gg/3U3sqPnPB7
š» Code: github.com/voicemxil/OpenSO
not affiliated with EA, no copyrighted assets included
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
Give yourself the treat before you start. I'm serious. And ideally during the task and afterwards too.
Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.
"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.
You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.
(Also read How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis)
I give my students a LOT of techniques for starting writing when it feels overwhelming or daunting, but one of them is exactly this: dopamine load BEFOREHAND. It may sound weird to people on tumblr dot com, but a lot of people seriously struggle with executive dysfunction when it comes to writing literally anything, to the extent that it can cause such symptoms as panic, depression, and AI chatbot use.
I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.
FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!
(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)
Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.
The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tiredāthat will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.
Not every technique works for everyone, but I've seen this one work for many students who are genuinely and seriously disabled by executive dysfunction. And many people find themselves getting more and more excited and engaged in the "difficult" taskābecause the good feelings from the hula hooping carry over, and because they're suddenly able to do the task without feeling pain, and feel accomplishment without feeling pain.
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you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point iām saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you donāt have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when thereās bigger stuff to worry on. iām saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? iām saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. iām saying sheās out of my league but iām still swinging, iām saying yeah iām in a ballgown and itās a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. iām saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.
#iām saying if existence is a void at least iām going down screaming.
itās been 9 years since i wrote this. i was experiencing 24/7 anxiety so badly that i needed serious medication. these days in the back of my car is an āemergency party box.ā when people admit they no longer really celebrate their birthday; i tell them to put the sash on and queue up kesha, weāre going bowling or something. these days i canāt spin around without finding something i am enamored with. these days i list 3 things iām grateful for before i fall asleep. youāre probably one of them, just by virtue of you existing.
at the time i wrote this, i was suffering through a severe panic attack literally every night. i tortured my brother with constant 2 AM calls just to hear someone else breathing, because i couldnāt be alone in the silence.
i rarely wish i was still 23 even though ironically i had more hope back then. what i can tell you is this: i love the same way, but bigger now. iāve worn the velvet cape to several business meetings. i spent thursday in a crop top without caring what my stomach looked like.
i told her i like her; i often dress as a witch. i still got glass in my foot this morning. iāve kissed maybe a thousand people since then and met a million more than that; passing like the shadow of a hammerhead in trains and planes and buses.
i saw you, beloved, there, maybe, on platform in south station. you didnāt speak, but you said: i struggle to give the nothing meaning. the nothing fills up everything. it is just loud and yellowed panicked silence. i canāt stop shaking.
on the roof, birds curl together against the chilled spring wind. the sky outside of the craft store was an iridescent pink. the nothing already had meaning; you are giving it meaning by witnessing.
the act of living, beloved: itās just decoding how to translate it.
Peeling off the broken breastplate of a stoic knight who only fights and never speaks, just to realize thereās nothing in there. Not metaphoricallyāthe armor is literally empty. It doesnāt appear to affect him. If the armor stays mostly in the shape of a knight, he just gets back up to keep fighting. But with the chest plate off he just sits there, equally impervious to curiosity as I reach up into the cavity where his body mightāve gone. Stubbornly, no answers are found anywhere in there.
So I forge him a new breastplate and on the inside, because I know he has plenty of room, I put a little pocket. Not big enough to hold anything functional of course. Just a little extra piece to see what heāll do with it.
He comes back next time with some grievous injury to his nothing, presumably from the massive shredded gash across his thigh plates. He sits and waits. I fix it for him. He is still nothing in there. I decide to add a drawing on the inside, of the type of beast I imagine could rend metal into scraps with a single blow. He puts it back on. He no longer moves as if he is injured.
Over time the interior of the knight becomes decorated with whatever odds and ends I could think to attach to the inside of a guy whoās got room to carry it. What really gets me is that he never removes any of it. Never requests a change. Not even when I installed a curtain rod for a small tapestry, or a bud vase to carry roses for his beloved, or an accordion folder for letters. He didnāt say a word for any of the many, many drawings of mythical beasts that now fight forever inside of his shell.
There are plenty of other forges. Iām not entirely sure why he keeps coming back here anyway. Weāre pretty popular, but he could get his armor fixed a lot quicker (and with fewer ridiculous modifications) literally anywhere else. I asked him if I could get a look at his nothing again. He flipped up his visor and nodded his head so I could take a look. It was the same as it had been, filled with drawings and trinkets and weird little fixtures Iād put in there. I asked if he was annoyed by it, or liked it, or felt anything at all, but he literally only ever says nothing, so Iām not sure why I asked.
Thereās not much room left in his nothing now. When he comes back for repairs Iāve had to fix my own foolish additions. Some of these pieces are intricate and irritating to repair, but I fix them anyway. It feels wrong to take any of it away from him now, even though Iāve been rudely encroaching on his nothingness to the point where itās barely even there. How he squeezes his nothing back into a body so full, Iāll never understand. But itās a game to me now, finding a spot not yet filled and putting something there. A dark part of me wonders if he ever gets filled up completely, if whatever sorcery holds the nothing-knight together may break, and it will all clatter unceremoniously to the floor.
When he hands me his breastplate yet again, it is so shockingly disfigured that I wonder if being made of nothing has somehow kept him alive. No ordinary knight could sustain such injuries. So I fix it. And he waits, unmoving, in a quiet corner of the forge. Itās like heās watching, even though I know the reading glasses I put inside his helmet were just for fun. Iām careful to put it all back exactly the way it was when he last left. Thereās no room to add more this time.
He examines the breastplate, and pauses before putting it back on, like heās looking for something. Is he worried about the fit? But it suits him just as it always did. He calmly points to a little space, about an inch, between a miniature shelf and one of many pockets. Thereās nothing there. I ask him whatās wrong, and again he points. Itās the most emotion Iāve ever seen from him, and itās barely anything at all. I take it to mean he wants something there.
I spend some time engraving a little snail in the gap. He watches, as much as nothing can watch. When Iām finished he holds the breastplate, but he doesnāt put it on right away. I ask him if somethingās still wrong. He says nothing, and puts it on. I tell him I canāt add anything else. Even if he could ask, thereās no room left.
Next time he comes back, thereās nothing wrong with his armorāhe lets me check to make sure. I ask him what heās doing here. Out from one of many pockets, he retrieves a tiny rusted knife. Itās in miserable condition, barely worth saving. I tell him I could make him a nice new one, but Iāll fix it if he likes. He puts it away and reaches around to find something else, a needle and thread. Better condition, but Iām not a sewist and I tell him as much. He puts them away. He then retrieves a little twisted piece of wax paper. I open it. Itās candy. I ask if I can eat it. He says nothing. I eat it. Itās flavored with cinnamon. Iām surprised he let me take it.
He keeps bringing me candy now. His armor is the most laborious to repair out of every client my forge serves, but itās my own fault so I canāt complain. Sometimes he keeps me company while I work. I wonder if he is trying to tell me something when he hands me mints. I wonder again at the lemon lozenges. He stares at me when I eat, as much as nothing can stare.
One day he brings me a little jar of honey. I thank him, I tell him Iāll save it for dinner. He watches me work, he puts his repaired armor back on, and he stays. My shift passes slowly, and when I finally pack up to leave itās dark outside. He follows me out of the forge. I ask him where heās going. He points to the jar in my hand. I ask him if he wants to watch me eat it. He says nothing, but the nothing-knight clearly wants something, so I open the lid and dunk my finger in the honey. I try not to get any on my chin. He stands there, inches away, watching me try to consume this jar of honey without a utensil. It tastes like clovers. About half the jar is left when Iāve finally had enough of pretending to be a bear, but he doesnāt move to leave.
I ask if heās going to follow me home. He says nothing. I tell him he can if he wants to. Again, nothing. I start walking, and he follows at my side. I know heās not going to say anything ever, so I fill the silence. I tell him Iām grateful for the sweets, I tell him about how his various components are made, I tell him Iāve never met anyone made of nothing before. I tell him itās a rare opportunity for a smith to work so much on the inside of something. He says nothing. I tell him again how much I like the candy.
It occurs to me that maybe filling me with sugar is as close as he can get to filling someone elseās empty armor with trinkets. Iām not sure if thatās really why he does it. I tell him I donāt have room to be filled with anything on the inside, not like him. Iām not a container for much besides food. He offers me another piece of candy. Maybe he likes containing something, the way I like to feel full. Maybe itās nothing at all.
ā
I didnāt edit this even a little bit. Thanks for reading!
I think this might be one of the most incredible, unsettling and symbolic photos of todayās America Iāve ever seen. I canāt stop looking at it. Itās perfect.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This is the sort of shit that all public artwork should be. The kind that you can use as a landmark to find your lost buddies. Going like "yeah I'm standing at the front of this building. Under the giant fucking seagull head. You'll know it when you see it."
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romaincrisis
