BOO!

This is one of my favorite tricks, picked up from E.M. Forester and filtered through my own domestic-homebody lens.  Forester says that you should never ever tell us how a character feels; instead, show us what those emotions are doing to a character’s posture and tone and expression.  This makes “I felt sadness” into “my shoulders hunched and I sighed heavily, staring at the ground as my eyes filled with tears.”  Those emotions-as-motions are called objective correlatives.  Honestly, fic writers have gotten the memo on objective correlatives, but sometimes struggle with how to use them.

Objective correlatives can quickly become a) repetitive or b) melodramatic.  On the repetitive end, long scenes of dialogue can quickly turn into “he sighed” and “she nodded” so many times that he starts to feel like a window fan and she like a bobblehead.  On the melodramatic end, a debate about where to eat dinner can start to feel like an episode of Jerry Springer because “he shrieked” while “she clenched her fists” and they both “ground their teeth.”  If you leave the objective correlatives out entirely, then you have what’s known as “floating” dialogue — we get the words themselves but no idea how they’re being said, and feel completely disconnected from the scene.  If you try to get meaning across by telling us the characters’ thoughts instead, this quickly drifts into purple prose.

Instead, have them wash the dishes while they talk.

To be clear: it doesn’t have to be dishes.  They could be folding laundry or sweeping the floor or cooking a meal or making a bed or changing a lightbulb.  The point is to engage your characters in some meaningless, everyday household task that does not directly relate to the subject of the conversation.

This trick gives you a whole wealth of objective correlatives.  If your character is angry, then the way they scrub a bowl will be very different from how they’ll be scrubbing while happy.  If your character is taking a moment to think, then they might splash suds around for a few seconds.  A character who is not that invested in the conversation will be looking at the sink not paying much attention.  A character moderately invested will be looking at the speaker while continuing to scrub a pot.  If the character is suddenly very invested in the conversation, you can convey this by having them set the pot down entirely and give their full attention to the speaker.

A demonstration:

1

“I’m leaving,” Anastasia said.

“What?”  Drizella continued dropping forks into the dishwasher.

2

“I’m leaving,” Anastasia said.

Drizella paused midway through slotting a fork into the dishwasher.  “What?”

3

“I’m leaving,” Anastasia said.

Drizella laughed, not looking up from where she was arranging forks in the dishwasher.  “What?”

4

“I’m leaving,” Anastasia said.

The forks slipped out of Drizella’s hand and clattered onto the floor of the dishwasher.  “What?”

5

“I’m leaving,” Anastasia said.

“What?”  Drizella shoved several forks into the dishwasher with unnecessary force, not seeming to notice when several bounced back out of the silverware rack.

See how cheaply and easily we can get across Drizella’s five different emotions about Anastasia leaving, all by telling the reader how she’s doing the dishes?  And all the while no heads were nodded, no teeth were clenched.

The reason I recommend having it be one of these boring domestic chores instead of, say, scaling a building or picking a lock, is that chores add a sense of realism and are low-stakes enough not to be distracting.  If you add a concurrent task that’s high-stakes, then potentially your readers are going to be so focused on the question of whether your characters will pick the lock in time that they don’t catch the dialogue.  But no one’s going to be on the edge of their seat wondering whether Drizella’s going to have enough clean forks for tomorrow.

And chores are a cheap-n-easy way to add a lot of realism to your story.  So much of the appeal of contemporary superhero stories comes from Spider-Man having to wash his costume in a Queens laundromat or Green Arrow cheating at darts, because those details are fun and interesting and make a story feel “real.”  Actually ask the question of what dishes or clothing or furniture your character owns and how often that stuff gets washed.  That’s how you avoid reality-breaking continuity errors like stating in Chapter 3 that all of your character’s worldly possessions fit in a single backpack and in Chapter 7 having your character find a pair of pants he forgot he owns.  You don’t have to tell the reader what dishes your character owns (please don’t; it’s already bad enough when Tolkien does it) but you should ideally know for yourself.

So if you're reading this and you're like me and your first instinct is "well, I'm not directly in danger," that instinct is taken as permission by Visa.

And if you've read the announcement that Kickstarter has made, you know that it is full of ambiguities that would allow anyone with a malicious interpretation of the policy to have any project they like sabotaged mid or post fundraise, with the money it raised held indefinitely by the payment processor.

Also it's kind of a comical policy on just a pure language level. You can't say DILF on Kickstarter anymore. What are we doing here.

With the push to eradicate objectionable content, the goal is not and has never been to eradicate *harmful* content. It is to ban anything that would make the worst person you have ever met upset. The kindest gentlest softest story you've ever read is somebody else's objectionable content and the forest fire is not going to stop in front of your house to ask your permission if it should burn any further.

It sucks to live in the 2020s where all problems are global and nothing feels like you can ever do anything about it at the individual level. But you can, actually. Just the same way as you'd eat an elephant. Bite by bite.

Giving Kickstarter a piece of your mind lets them know this decision sucks.

Calling your credit card company and lodging an objection against censoring storefronts ties up their phones and costs them money, a thing that will factor into their aggression in stuff like this.

And being a little less afraid. Signal boosting creators when you don't have to. It's all something.

Hey so, I thought maybe we should participate in a blackout day to protest against the new tumblr update.

Let's try March 19. So that people have time to see this and plan for it.

Do not log in or use tumblr for 24 on this day.

Reblog this and make a tag chain to maximise visbility—the more people aware of this awful update, the better.

Circle the date on your calendar, or set a reminder on your phone. As a bonus it will be a good break from social media. Spend the day doing things you like—start that book you've been waiting to read, go outside, watch a good movie... just do anything except open tumblr.

I think we should show tumblr that we are not happy with this update in every possible way we can.

File support tickets with feedback (SEE BELOW ON HOW TO SEND FEEDBACK), post about how this update makes you feel, reblog other's posts about this update, offer as detailed and honest feedback as possible to tumblr—WE DO NOT WANT THIS UPDATE!!

Remember that WE are the end consumers.

WE build their platform, WE fill it with posts, WE are the reason they generate revenue, WE are the reason this platform has power, and for these reasons WE should feel satisfied with the service they provide. ESPECIALLY if you pay for tumblr premium, you are entitled to make a complaint about the platform you are PAYING.

I used to like tumblr and I'd like to cling to it, but this update is just horrible. It makes me not want to continue posting at all. It is utterly demotovating as-is with my being mature labelled, but this update is just intolerable. I do not know how I will feel motivated to post at all in the future if this update is not rolled back.

I know I don't have much reach, especially with a label on, but I hope this reaches at least a few people.

Please participate if you care. Please reblog and tag people you know. Send every bit of feedback to tumblr that you possibly can.

I really don't want to see my once favorite site ruined beyond repair. I really want to continue enjoying this site. I have a community of people here which I have built over years, a community which I deeply love and appreciate and cherish interacting with. My blog thrives on being able to see feedback in reblogs on my post. The whole point of posting is that people see it and engage with it. This update is at best nonsensical and at worst, going to shred off many creators from the platform and rip apart any last bits of fun we have using it.

Tagging everyone I can think of.

@sweethearticism @cupidstrace @madamechrissy @softtashoney @uhnosav @sugurusbadhabit @bluukive @reignpage @kamiflix @satorusdollie @satorus-princess @yenayaps @blkkizzat @indiewritesxoxo @sixxels @realalpacorn @angelscriptures @mididoodles @alygator77 @mimuju @feyrinnn

SEE BELOW for more information on the update & how to send a support ticket to give feedback.

HOW TO SEND FEEDBACK THROUGH SUPPORT TICKETS

Go to tumblr support

Select the category "feedback"

Write in formal, polite tone—try not to sound rude, but constructive and earnest about how dissatisfied you feel about the update and its effects

EXAMPLE: I am writing regarding tumblr's recent update. I am not happy with this feature and do not see myself enjoying the platform with this being implemented. Please rollback this update.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Comment your feedback on tumblr's twitter

Here is the original tumblr post stating the update change

This post by @thatlittleegyptologist explains the effects of the update

how to troubleshoot by yourself when you have a technical problem

what common file types are

some very basics on how to use ""developer tools"" on your computer (because i cant think of a better way to refer to them) like task manager and command prompt (and their mac equivalents, terminal and activity monitor ofc)

how to read and understand a privacy policy and what your personal data is, as well as what it being collected actually means and steps you can take to keep it private

how to understand terms of service (hey. if you have trouble with reading legalese and worry about being able to understand these policies anyways, here's a site that gives basic summaries of privacy policies and ToS)

what a cookie actually is

internet privacy and your digital footprint!! seriously i dont know why we stopped teaching people that they shouldnt be putting their entire real identity online in a world where your online actions can ruin you irl

basic safety measures like antivirus software (and why you should use it or if the built in one on windows or mac is enough for you) and backing up your computer (also a mac guide)

common keyboard shortcuts (and on mac)

as an additional note: things i think everyone should know on computers and the internet but schools may bit hesitant to teach about for whatever moral/legal standards schools pretend to operate on

vpns and adblockers! (btw for most of these where you can pay for things im purposefully not recommending any specific software but seriously just use ublock origin for an adblocker)

how to not get a virus while pirating something

what a temporary email is and when to use one

red flags that you shouldn't trust a website (and how to quickly check the security of a site)

an online compiler so you dont need to download anything or worry about running code directly on your computer if that makes you nervous

a basic video guide to introduce you to python and walk you through beginner steps

a guide to some syntax and commands you should know (this was literally my lifeline in my first CS class)

୨୧ HOW TO CREATE GRADIENT TEXT : A TUTORIAL!

⤷ @tehevegatehe i hope this helps!!! this is for anyone else who needs help with this too!!! :)

(matches this gradient divider set!)

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