APMaffs @apmaffs - Tumblr Blog

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goth-queen

Sometimes I find myself looking at my husband as he sleeps. Appreciating how beautiful he is. Observing every curve of his body. Thinking about how every essence of his being is a pure art God bestowed upon me.

...then he farts nastily in my general direction.

#justsayin

unbreakablemouserat

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (1975-present) Season 37

apmaffs

It's obviously Timon.

#this isn't even a trick question

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landsccape

apmaffs

He got that Barn Owl Booty

#i should keep my damn mouth shut sometimes

egax

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

freefitty

literally has been in my queue for an entire year. you just can’t miss reblogging.

apmaffs

...5 YEARS LATER

I'm finally happy. That is all.

onceiwashere

he’s going The pisstance

he’s going For peed

onceiwashere

sometimes i really do like it here

sweetbirthdaybabyyy

#it's my birthday

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i-am-a-fish

I have an eyelash in my eye :(

could someone please help me by giving me three thousand dollars

i-am-a-fish

something crazy about this post- it was inspired by my real life. I actually have an eyelash in my eye right now, my real eye, while I'm typing this. I also would really like three thousand dollars

spaghettihell

I have 3k but you can’t have it

apmaffs

I have an extra eyelash I'm willing to donate

guerrillatech

ryukiki

gluten-free-pussy

Yes Tumblr is a hellsite but at least we don’t have this

#giving grandma the :D

rubyfunkey

Gay /pos /hj

which part is the half-joke the gay part or the pos part. my friend hannah wants to know

rubyfunkey

hold on anon she has another question

hannahp0calypse

apmaffs

♠️

vaspider

One of the most annoying things about certain posts on any social media post is setting out a boundary about the kind of person you're talking about in that post (for example: "cishet people ages 40-60 that I've talked to") & then having a bunch of people roll up in the notes like "I'm 40, don't lump me in with this!"

Bro, are you a cishet person I talked to? Oh, you're not? Then it's not about you. Relax your butthole, buddy. You don't need to clench every time someone else farts.

chrismsquared

I'm totally stealing that last line. Genius. <3 :D

vaspider

:]

#i assure you #my butthole is always relaxed at this point

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