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art blog(derogatory)
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@aplusbabe

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Behold, a dragon.
One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.
(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)
This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”
Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”
It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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No, I am not 'hoarding craft supplies.' I am sourcing materials for a very big project that will be revealed to me at a later date- perhaps in a dream.
not to be a dirty commie or anything but i don't think any one person should have enough money to solve world hunger and then get to decide not to
favorite artists (2/10): pierre-auguste renoir (1841-1919)
The cruelty of racist white men.
Does anyone else remember when Elon was like "if anyone knows how to end world hunger for 6 billion USD, I'll fund it" and UNICEF was like "we're going to spend a month to make a plan to end world hunger for 6 billion USD and Elon is going to fund it" and Elon was like "actually, nah" and then bought Twitter instead?
I think that was one of the worst things I'll ever see in my life.
I still think that should be the thing for which he's the most famous. It should be brought up every time he's mentioned. In any news article, any interview, any history book. "Elon Musk, who was offered a chance to end world hunger and turned it down." Put it on his fucking gravestone.
I think my least favorite aspect of ADHD is how USELESS afternoon appointments make me. It's not until THREE. I could get SO MUCH DONE until then.
But no.
No I can't.
Because I have an appointment.

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Also, romantic love is great, but it's not the only kind of love, or the only kind of love that matters.
#Repost @gogreensavegreen
You might be more than one. You might be different ones at different times. 🫶🏽🫶🏽 you might not be one of these. There are more roles 💪🏽 but this is an amazing intro.
You can’t just like the idea and envision yourself in one of these roles you have to figure out how to be about it ♥️🫶🏽
Via @deiloh & @fablefulart

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Want to learn something new in 2022??
Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)
40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)
Excellent basic crochet video series
Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)
Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)
How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)
Another drawing character faces video
Literally my favorite art pose hack
Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??
Introduction to flying small aircrafts
French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding
Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)
Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)
Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)
Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:
Calculus 1 (full semester class)
Learn basic statistics (free textbook)
Introduction to college physics (free textbook)
Introduction to accounting (free textbook)
Learn a language:
Ancient Greek
Latin
Spanish
German
Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)
French
Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)
Want to learn something new in 2023??
Cooking with flavor bootcamp (used what I learned in this a LOT this year)
Beekeeping 101
Learn Interior Design from the British Academy of Interior Design (free to audit course - just choose the free option when you register)
Video on learning to read music that actually helped me??
How to use and sew with a sewing machine
How to ride a bike (listen. some of us never learned, and that's okay.)
How to cornrow-braid hair (I have it on good authority that this video is a godsend for doing your baby niece's black hair)
Making mead at home (I actually did this last summer and it was SO good)
How to garden
Basics of snowboarding (proceed with caution)
How to draw for people who (think they) suck at art (I know this website looks like a 2003 monstrosity, but the tutorials are excellent)
Pixel art for beginners so you can make the next great indie game
Go (back) to school
Introduction to Astronomy (high school course - free textbook w/ practice problems)
Principals of Economics (high school course - free textbook w/ practice problems)
Introduction to philosophy (free college course)
Computer science basics (full-semester Harvard course free online)
Learn a language
Japanese for Dummies (link fix from 2022)
Ukrainian
Portuguese (Brazil)
American Sign Language (as somebody who works with Deaf people professionally, I also strongly advise you to read up on Deaf/HoH culture and history!)
Chinese (Mandarin, Simplified)
Quenya (LOTR fantasy elf language)
Want to learn something new in 2024??
Beginner-oriented video on how to sail
This guy has so many videos on baking different types of bread. SO very many.
Coding in Python - one of the most flexible and adaptable high-level programming languages out there - explained through projects making video games
Learn to swim! (for adult learners. I don’t care if you live in Kansas or Mali or wherever. LEARN TO SWIM.)
Learn how quantum mechanics works. Then read some more about it
[Learn about quantum mechanics again, but in a more advanced engineering/mathematics class. Then read more about the math and physics of it]
Poetry Handbook, by Mary Oliver
Something I learned this year: how to sew a quilt (Here’s a very easy beginning pattern that looks amazing and can be done with pre-cut fabric!)
How to hit the ball in softball
Tutorial video on what is under the hood of most (gas) cars + weird engine sounds and what they mean
Full beginner mechanics technical training, if you want to go more in depth
Playlist on how car engine physics work if you want to go ultra in depth
Lecture series on architecture design through study of buildings
How (American income) taxes & tax law work (choose “audit course” at checkout for free class)
Pickleball for beginners (so you can finally join your neighbor/friend/distant cousin who is always insisting you join their team)
+ Para-Pickleball for beginners (for mobility aid users!)
School is so much more fun when there’s no tests:
American Law - Contracts
Shakespeare’s Life and Plays
Fairy Tales: Meanings, Messages, and Morals
Modern Poetry
World History [Part 1, Part 2]
Learn a language:
Arabic + Resource Guide compiled from Reddit (includes info on different dialects)
Chinese (Cantonese) (audio)
Urdu (frequently recommended course on Reddit) + Resource Guide
Yucatec Maya
If you have felt chronically invalidated or don't trust your own decision making skills and want to feel more confident in your own abilities, I would suggest trying some or all of these things;
Find someone you trust and respect to be your sounding board. NOT the person/people who make you feel small and incompetent! The point is to teach your mind and nervous system that your invalidator doesn't have some sort of secret higher knowledge nor a monopoly on logical thinking.
Sit with your decision privately for a while. Don't ask others opinions, don't look for outside validation, don't give yourself the opportunity to be immediately discouraged by the invalidating person/people. Sit with yourself in your quiet moments. Wonder about what that decision might look like and how you might feel after. What do you want? Will it make you happy? Will it make your life better, even a little?
Try recognizing the small, safe decisions you make that end up going right. You tried a new sandwich place and it ended up being really good. You took a chance on that book and you learned a lot. You took a different route to get to work and saw a cool house. You make a TON of decisions every day--there are plenty you have already made that were a good idea!
When you're ready for outside input, start with your trusted source or other supportive environments. Tell someone you trust to not immediately shut you down or dismiss you--a therapist, an online friend, a respected community leader, a kind relative, or even that friendly barista you chat with. Give someone a chance to respond with enthusiasm, thoughtfulness, and reciprocation. There are people who will delight in your successes and support your ideas. Find them in your life!
No self defeating language!! No 'i probably can't do it', no 'but I'm not good at that', no 'i always fail'. Talk about how you feel, not defining reality before it even happens. 'I'm really worried I won't meet my own expectations' or 'in the past, this has been really hard for me'. This opens the door to solutions, support, and reflection with the people you're talking to. It invites them into a conversation about times when they didn't feel confident or let's them suggest things that have helped them in and similar situations in the past! You open a dialogue for yourself instead of entrenching yourself in old stories that might not even be true. Don't stop yourself before you even start.
Pay attention how much YOU notice/don't notice other people in public. Chances are, you are sensitive about feeling judged or silly. You might think that that cashier is rolling their eyes at you, that guy that looked up when you walked in is annoyed you're here. Pay attention to how much YOU think about random strangers. That janitor you saw the other day: do you remember their shoes/hat/nails/etc.? Are you studying and judging the people walking by you on the street? As a general rule, other random people in public are paying about as much attention to you as you are to them. Everyone has stressful lives, a list of things to do, and songs stuck in their own heads. (This is barring things like transphobia, racism, sexism, and other micro/macroaggressions, of course. I acknowledge that this is not a privilege granted to everyone.)
Ask yourself 'what is, realistically, the absolute worst that can happen from this decision?' Especially if the decision is fairly low stakes and non-permanent, like getting a daring haircut or color, trying those new, loud earrings, trying to grow/shave your facial/head/body hair. I find it useful to follow up fearful thoughts with, 'okay, and then what?' (ex. "What if it looks terrible?"-- "Okay, then what?"-- "I'll be embarrassed and people will think I look weird!"-- "Okay, then what?" --"They might stare at me or make a mean comment!"-- "Okay, then what?" "I'll feel bad!"-- "Okay, then what?" Your hair will grow back, people whose opinions you care about won't be cruel and life will move on.)
THEN ask yourself; 'What could go right?' Balance! If you're spiralling or panicking with 'what ifs', try to make the opposite just as proportional and realistic. Even if it's hard to envision yourself succeeding, if your brain says something like; 'I could fail and then lose all my friends and I'll die alone!!' you can always make sure to counter with 'or I could succeed SO well that someone falls in love with me on the spot and I get a million bucks and move to my own private island'. Illustrate how ridiculous both sides of the spectrum are! Put into perspective the likelihood each of these scenarios.
Remember, no one else is you. Other people have knowledge of what worked for them, ideas and world views they are operating on that they will be convinced is the ONLY and BEST way. They. Are not. You. They can advise and suggest and caution, but only YOU can live your life. You will be affected. You know what works and what doesn't (or you can learn). You are the only one you spend every moment of every day with. You are your own closest companion. There is no one who knows more about you than YOU. Other people may have different insights and observations that may help you know yourself better, but they can ALSO have false, ill fitting narratives that have more to do with their trauma or internal story than they actually do with you. Question the stories given to you about yourself. Question when someone defines you, labels you as something that just feels bad--lazy, sloppy, loud, annoying, ditzy. Something in you just balked at that story. Find out why!
Accept that you might not be able to convince/change your invalidator. Look. This person or people might well be someone you love dearly, live with, or has some sort of power over you. You might not want or be able to cut contact. They may be unpredictable, sick, struggling with their own stress, from a completely different culture/mindset/generation. They may even acknowledge that this is something they need to work on but then never do. The only thing you can be certain to have control over changing is yourself. You cannot wait for them to decide that it's important enough to change their behavior because they haven't so far. You don't need to harbor anger or resentment in this process of healing (though, if you do, that's perfectly valid and normal). You don't need to feel like you're gearing up for a confrontation with them. It doesn't need to be about them. This is about you trusting yourself. It's about you living the life that settles you, fills you, grounds you. It's about getting to a place of being comfortable with uncertainty and expansion. You deserve to grow, heal, and change. It's not about them. This isn't about them.
Feel confident in your decision before you tell your invalidator. When you have a network of trusted sounding boards, go to them, talk out the pros and cons, the logistics and your worries. Talk through the logic of it so you know your plan and you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as you can) with your decision. If it's something your invalidator needs to know, make sure you aren't looking for their approval; you're telling them your decision. Be unassailable. Feel calm and confident. Be at a point in your decision that even their worst, most invalidating or dismissive reaction will not sway your resolve.