welcome to my head

I hate the side of me that everyone likes.

So loud and full of fake.

I hate hiding until I crawl under the covers,

And I hate how it starts from the moment I wake.

I wish I could be my favorite parts of me.

Because they're getting easier and easier to ignore.

The only problem with that is,

I hate this side of me,

Some part of me I didn't know myself.

It was reckless and fearless and gallant,

But I swear I never showed this part of me to anyone else.

My pain flowed through my mouth without effort,

Tears and smiles came and left as need be.

I flourished that day when I talked to you.

I swear I've never been so truly

Me.

But as it goes I wasn't enough for you.

And as it goes that was the last day we talked.

I wish I had more to say for that undiscovered part of me,

But before I could discover it,

I found you in some part of me

And I hate it. 

I hate every last bit.

I thought I got rid of you months ago,

Or you got rid of me,

However you see fit.

I swear this has gone on too long,

I swear I want you gone.

I swear I wish I could burn you away

Or hate you within a metal rock song.

I hate how you bear onto me

When all I want to do is let you go.

I hate how I wish you held onto me,

I saw you walk right past me,

Your glance pressed against my black eyes.

You stared at me for the merest second

And didn't bother to say goodbye.

You stepped inches from my body

Lying on the floor.

I begged you and begged you to help me,

I couldn't gather strength to ask for more.

I know you saw me helpless,

I know you heard me gasp for air.

But you brushed me off without a sigh

And looked away without a care.

You said you'd be there when I needed you,

You said you'd never hurt me.

But it's too bad I found out too late