Apatones

Dance on Dance 2

Hi dance fans…word up!

Get down!

And get on the good fooooot!

I hope the first ‘Dance on Dance’ has given you a higher level of dancing ability and made you the envy of everyone on the dance floor – I am positive it has! I have been dancing for as long as I can remember and I can remember stuff from ages ago because I am so clever.

I like dancing so much that I have been literally dancing…

Dance on Dance 1

Hi there, for those of you that don’t know, my surname is Dance. I am sure you will agree that my surname is really cool, which means I am cool as well as handsome and really clever!

That’s right – a triple threat!

But not only am I all of the things mentioned above, I am also a great dancer – Quadruple threat! But I am sure most of you are terrible dancers so this is the first in a series of…

Is This My Bus Stop? Take The Quiz To Find Out!

Travelling. We all do it, some of us because we like to but most of us do it out of necessity. We travel to work, we travel to the shops to buy food like cheese and other food substances that have temporarily slipped my mind. We travel to escape things such as people and a prison sentence. We travel hither and thither without knowing where either of those places actually are.

Personally I like…

Am I a Russian Spy Intent on Causing Social Discord and Subverting Democratic Elections? Take This Quiz and Find Out!

It has been in the news with growing regularity over the past year – Russian spies and secret agents subverting western democracies in order to divide countries. The main tool in these covert operations has been through the use of social media with false news stories and fake social media accounts know as ‘Bots’ spreading disinformation and ‘fake news’.

But in this busy, hectic life it’s hard to…

Am I Currently Asleep? Take This Quiz and Find Out!

Stumble out of bed, stumble into the kitchen, pour myself a cup of ambition, yawning, stretching, tryin’ to come to life – they’re not my words they are the words to a famous song called ‘9 to 5’ by Dolly Partition.

It’s so hard to wake up sometimes, isn’t it? Sometimes the only way I can wake up is to set an alarm – mental! Sometimes I don’t set the alarm and I sleep for aaaaages (roughly 7 and…

My Return To Live Comedy!

For five years I performed stand up comedy around the county and did several shows at the Edinburgh Fringe. Then, ‘snap’, my back went into a 7 month spasm and so obviously I had to stop gigging. I could use this post to write about how having to stop gigging affected me but holy heck, lets not dwell on the past, (one of the many positive things to come out of my enforced retirement was a much…

Top 5 Facial Hair Designs…For Men!

Since man first walked on this Earth he has been growing facial hair, he doesn’t even have to try, he just does it with natural ability. Our ancestors in the northern hemisphere grew it to help combat the cold weather while those in the warmer climates of the southern hemisphere grew facial hair due to the lack of razor blades which weren’t invented until 1901 by a man named King Gillette.

During…

5 Dance Moves You Should Never Attempt in a Pizza Express.

We all love dancing, I know I do. I love dancing so much that I spend roughly 3 hours doing so everyday. In fact, I’m dancing now, nothing too hectic just a gentle Box Step which is commonly used in the Foxtrot and Rumba and consists of one foot going forward-side-together. It is safe to perform dance routines in most places even as this world we live in becomes more dangerous by the moment, I…

Am I Justin Timberlake? Take This Quiz To Find Out.

Hi I am bringing sexy back…or am I? If I was Justin Timberlake the famous pop star then maybe I would, but I am not him and therefore I am not bringing anything back. But I know I am not Justin Timberlake because I am really clever!

But what if I wasn’t so clever? How could I tell if I was JT or not. Maybe some of you out there reading this aren’t sure if you are the world famous mega star,…

20 Quotes That Will Inspire You To Write

“Argh, I am so stuck! I haven’t written for over 12 minutes! I have terrible writers block”.

We’ve all been there, we’ve all suffered from the feeling of emptiness in our brain, when no thoughts manifest no matter how many bongs you inhale or how many cat videos you watch. It is a crippling fear that leaves us with self doubt…I say ‘us’ but what I of course mean is ‘you’. I never suffer from…

Am I Addicted To Throwing Ham At Passing Cars? Take This Quiz and Find Out.

Yo gang, what is up? Life is full of problems and with so much confusion around it is hard to know who we are…who we really are. I know who I am because I am really clever. I am Paul and I am very clever.

With so much going on in our lives many of us take comfort in different ways, these are called ‘vices’. Because these vices make us feel good in this crazy world, some of us become dependant on…