My Guilty Pleasures

Screen, “stay in your lane!”

Laying in my bed, and you're not here.

Your pillow will stay empty.

Your sent will soon fade from my sheets.

Your heat won't find me on cool nights.

Soon I will put your sweater in my closet where I can't see it,

But I'll think of it when I miss you most.

I'll replay every I love you until I can't remember your voice.

I will retrace every path your fingers took on my skin

Until I am tired of torturing myself.

I will ask myself what I did wrong.

Why couldn't you have loved me longer,

But I won't hear your voice

Because you're no longer talking to me.

But I'll remember your good morning texts from before you were mine.

I will remember the back road rides

The orchard at night where we hid and you kissed me under the stars.

I will remember how it felt when you touched me

Like I had not been alive before you.

I will remember every beautiful memory you gave me,

And hope it will last me a lifetime.