a Oh shit uh https://ko-fi.com/anxiousmarsupial yeah that one, I take comms sometimes idk

ellievsbear
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
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if i look back, i am lost
The Bowery Presents
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untitled
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
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art blog(derogatory)
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@anxious-marsupial
a Oh shit uh https://ko-fi.com/anxiousmarsupial yeah that one, I take comms sometimes idk

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just blocked someone for not liking purple. do not fuck with me
Ive somehow discovered egg_irl and im absolutely hate how i relate to like 95% of the posts there
I genuinely fucking hate it because every single post hits the bullseye every single time
You fool. Idiot. Nincompoop. Why do you think that is.
2 years HRT.
Message to everyone: it gets better
(three decades into my life) sorry I wasn’t paying attention, can we start again?
possum spinny time :>

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you've accomplished so much just by making it this far. don't stop now
please don't stop now
jax died before she could come out, and she died before she could become a better person and make any kind of amends with the people she hurt. I don't think the story was written that way by accident
she's horribly repressed and comes from horrible circumstances including homelessness. she also pushed away every hand extended to her and every chance she could have taken to get better. there were a million better decisions she could have made and she did not make them, and she caused an incredible amount of harm along the way. and still the story wants us to believe her worthy of being understood and loved
to come out would be to embody herself, to view herself as a real person, to start to leave the haze of dissociation that allows her to think of herself and everyone else as cartoon archetypes in a false world where nothing matters
she's desperate to stay in this world that she sees as false, where she's a funny cartoon character and she can still brush off the pain she causes as silly cartoon antics
it's exactly this dissociation that allows her not to take her own pain or the pain of others seriously. it was what ultimately led to her death. a jax that cannot come out is also a jax that cannot make amends
something I love about a tragic story, where a character fails to complete the arc that might have satisfied us as the audience, is that it asks us what led to the tragedy
the despair it leaves us with, the satisfaction it denies us, leaves us to yearn for things to have turned out differently. it leaves us thinking about what could have been done, what decisions could have been made, what different circumstances could have prevented the tragedy? dissatisfaction drives us to act
you're not supposed to be satisfied when she dies
I love, by the way, the matter-of-fact cut from her walking away to her already being gone. like many tragedies we experience in our lives, the news comes to us unceremoniously, undramatically, flatly. it arrives well after the moment where we could have been there. in one quiet moment the world shifts underneath our feet. at first it feels like nothing at all until the information percolates through us, manifesting first as a dull ache that feels inadequately small and insignificant
we don't get to ask "what could I have done if I were there," we can only ask "what could I have done before it got this bad?"
when a trans woman in your life commits suicide, she is not going to have tied up all the loose ends first. a trans woman's suicide is not the last page of a full life well lived. it is an abrupt end in the middle of a story that deserved to keep going
people who survive their lowest moments are the ones who get a chance to grow and make amends. far, far too many trans women do not survive
has anyone figured out what the deal is with TMEs
i am supposed to have the energy… to do stuff...?
every? day??
I found this opossum on my notes from three years ago!
BTW if you call yourself a transfeminist you HAVE to get educated on racial intersectionality. It is not optional. The fact that the transfeminist movement is largely on Tumblr, a site that continues to delete every single Black user it possibly can, has made it so that this site is overrun with white transfems who fall into the exact same trap as the tme transmisogynists we speak out on.
NEVER let yourself think that you are immune to bigotry. NEVER. Just because the movement as a whole pledges racial justice, doesn't mean that you aren't actively harming Black people, both in our community and outside of it.

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Thank you all, i needed further explanation - And i do find it might help me!
Hell with it, gonna attempt this particular Hellsite again
"you're so strong" I don't want to be I want to be happy
I want to be able to fall apart and be held and told everything is gonna be ok and I want to be close to the people I love I hate being so far I hate that I can't hug them I hate that it all feels so hopeless I have to keep holding on I know I can make it there but I don't have a place to stay there yet so I have to stay strong but I don't want to be strong I want to cry in someone's arms
I want to be.
I hope all the girls who relate to this find happiness
A little too emotionally compromised to fo through this cycle again
youve all been so nice, though. i cant think of a single genuinely bad thing
just not in a good place and this is a very lonely place to be when you cant bring it the happiness it deserves
love, though, always loved this place and wish you all so well, you all keep having fun
@cosmicholloway
I did start to interpret that request of yours
very late I know, and I'm honestly not sure if ill ever get to finish it, but wanted to send what was there at least
thanks a bunch for the warm fuzzies ;;

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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bug buttons
button buddies
how much are you allowed to store in jars, spread around your house?
As much as you like, but they can wander in at any time to smash the jars and take it
i don’t know how to explain to you that trespassing, breaking and entering, and vandalism would all still be illegal.
Thank you for injecting realism into the world where the economy works like a Zelda game.