Anubis Vignette

Tagged:

RELATIONSHIP REVEALED - Oneshot/Twoshot

Smash, definitely by Hayze57 — Drunken Shane played Smash or Pass with Metros WAGs.

Jane is the throat GOAT by SpaceGhostCoastToCoast92 — text messages between Ilya and Jane got leaked.

Ilya Rozanov's Guide to Skincare Routine | Vogue by CinnamonProse — Ilya showing his skincare routine which also includes Shane’s.

The League’s Worst Kept Secret by v_velour — 3 times strangers found out about not-so-secret Hollanov before fanmail video went viral.

Lily Wants To Be A WAG by harmonyrenjun — Lily wanted to be added into Montreal WAGs group chat.

truth, dare, spin bottles by fllweriesz — drunken Shane accidentally outed them during Bood’s BBQ.

biting my tongue by alexclrmontdiaz — poor Haas accidentally saw Hollanov making out with each other.

Surprise, Cliff! by Lydiawearingacross — Shane wanted to surprise Ilya but ended up getting surprised by Cliff.

The News of the Gala by oh_Halcyon — Shane and Ilya decided to announce the world about their relationship during MHL gala with a little surprise.

and like. LISTEN. shane is a tough, strong dude, okay? he has played a heavy contact sport since he was an itty bitty. he is no shrinking violet. he can take a hit and get back up and keep going. he's no stranger to like. grabbing shoulders and a little playful jostling. but i also feel like his vibe on the team with the metros made him a little untouchable (first with respect that still made him "other" and then with. well.) beyond things like shoulder punches from jj and helmet taps with hayden.

and now he's gotten tossed into this locker room where he is accepted and welcomed but ALSO maybe getting fucking whiplash on the reg from cliff's affection. like hey! thank you for including me! but also you just fucking RAGDOLLED me the SECOND i walked in here today and i am a little turned on and ALARMED about it. just a little.

like hits on the ice? yeah. shane understands those. gets 'em and deals 'em all the time. no big. a little bro shoulder tapping/shaking? yeah sure.

but cliff just fucking. 🗣️HOLL-ZY! MY GUUUY! 🗣️ and that is shane's ONLY warning that he's about to get borderline shaken adult syndrome. everyone else in the locker room including ilya knows to brace or dodge by this point, but shane is still adjusting.

so cliff always walks off looking content and pleased at expressing his Bro Affection™ while shane is left just

However, I do firmly believe that Ilya is actually Grigori's favourite and that this is the main factor in the tension we see between Ilya and his brother. Here's why:

- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."

- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."

- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."

- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"

- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."

- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"

- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."

- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"

- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"

- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."

- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."

- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"

- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."

- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."

- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."

- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."

he puts shane in the car. grabs a black carry case from the house. drives somewhere shane has never been before. arrives (to shanes horror) at a shooting range. they go inside, black carry case in hand. they rent a lane. don yellow safety glasses and protective headphones.

cliff calmly opens the case, withdraws a matte black .45 caliber pistol with his initials engraved on the grip in gold. loads the full clip and hands the gun to shane. stands behind him, hands over his own, as he demonstrates how to use it. where the safety is. how to pull back the hammer. how to grip it just so and not lose it like a fish when it kicks.

then he reels in the target from the end of the lane. pulls the generic silhouette with crosshairs over the head and chest off the mount and pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket and hangs it up in its place. he sends the paper back down to the end of the lane. helps shane set his stance, adjust his grip, line up his shot.

“now take everything you feel in here,” he taps shane’s temple, then his chest, “put it in here,” taps the barrel of the gun, “and send it down there.” points down the lane to his improvised target.

shane inhales. holds it. exhales. pulls the trigger nine times in a row.

the center of the printed out montreal metros logo at the end of the lane is absolutely obliterated.

The Cullens stared at him. Carlisle folded his hands. "What happened?"

"I met a new vampire at the hockey game."

Each of the Cullens had a different reaction. Carlisle blinks patiently, waiting for more information. Esme gasps. Jasper grunts.

Rosalie muttered, "Not again."

Alice shrieked out, "No way!"

Bella simply rolled her eyes, letting Edward in to silently hear some of her thoughts.

Edward immediately frowned. "The arena was full of way too many humans, no vampires. Especially not the blonde hockey player. He's human."

Emmett froze. "You read his mind?"

"Yes."

"Then explain this."

Emmett pointed dramatically at an imaginary whiteboard. "He insulted twenty-three people in under an hour."

"So?"

"Nobody even hit him! Not one. Everyone loved him."

Rosalie buried her face in her hands.

Edward sighed.

"He's just sarcastic."

"No."

Emmett shook his head.

"There's something else. Something different with his voice."

"He's just Russian," Bella offered.

Alice tilted her head. "Do you mean like a gift?"

"Exactly." Emmett pointed triumphantly. "Special chirping powers."

The room went silent.

Carlisle looked exhausted.

friend: oh like romantically?

me: no. like cursed object passed between hands for centuries, they are cosmically linked, probably bonded by blood ritual, I think they’ve fought in a war together in at least three lifetimes, and their souls make direct eye contact every time they breathe in the same room

friend: so… romantically?

People don't like living in Ilya’s mansion, they can feel him there. Then along comes young and hungry rising mlh star Shane Hollander, who after billeting his first year jumps at the chance to buy the Ilya Rosanov's old house. The last great player on the Voyageurs, the one whose death led them to a 20 year losing streak that Shane is there to fix.