such is the way of things

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hey, welcome to my blog

my name is Sirius (like the star)

im genderfluid, so i don have any preferred pronouns

im a minor so no nsfw unless its clearly a joke

on this blog i mostly post abt my life, fandoms, ships, trauma, mental health, and chronic illnesses

i love ask games + and i want friends/moots so my dms are open

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my favorite colors are: brown and green

my aesthetic are: grunge, rockstars gf, teen boy core, chaotic academia, and downtown girl

my favorite ships/fandoms are: johnlock (bbc), wolfstar, hollanov, mauraders in general, project hail mary, oppenheimer, and dead poets society

my favorite author is: Dostoyevsky (my favorite book is note from underground or the idiot)

my main interests are: space, quantum physics, philosophy, language, and psychology

my favorite artist is: andrew wyeth (specifically his painting of perpetual care or her room)

im currently learning: latin, German, Russian, Greek, Spanish, and English

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Right now, my top 10 songs are:☆.｡.:*

-habits by the genevieve strokes -do i ever cross your mind by sombr -do i wanna know? by arctic monkeys -iris by the goo goo dolls -supermodel by maneskin -505 by arctic monkeys -the night we met by lord huron - knee socks by arctic monkeys -sign of the times by harry styles -gossip by maneskin

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this is my obligatory mention of my chronic illnesses/mental health issues because i talk about them alot, and i want to give context behind more of what i'm talking about + i like talking/questions abt them. more info can be found at this post. i am open to questions abt dx process, symptoms, or just more info.

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1: HSD (hEDS) basically my body doesn't produce collagen properly, it makes it too stretchy. This means that i have hypermobility in my joints, joint dislocations, stretchy blood vessels causing dysautonomia, messed up digestion, atrophic scarring, and nerve problems. this condition is also the root of most the other conditions i have.

2: POTS- a condition that causes a bunch of symptoms including (but not limited to) tachycardia, fainting, presyncope, digestive issues, blood pooling, temp regulation issues, fatigue exercise intolerance, orthostatic intolerance, and more

3: NCS- this causes my heart rate a blood pressure to drop extremely low when exposed to certain triggers. this causes fainting, presyncope, nausea, shakiness, and fatigue. triggers vary a lot for everyone but mine include standing, stretching, seeing blood, being really scared or grossed out, seeing piercings being done, heat, standing for long periods of time, and being hungry

4: GERD- because my digestion is slower than everyone else's from HSD, i have constant heart burn. it also cause (for me) pretty bad bloating which i feel like no one ever talks about.

5: Raynuad's syndrome- its a vascular disorder where when my hands get cold the blood vessels contract causes pain, stiffness, and extreme paleness. Basically when my hands get cold (which is always) they get super stiff, white, and they HURT.

6: eczema- im allergic/sensitive/idk what the right word is to cortisol, which is round in sweat and tears. after i cry/get sweaty, especially if im stressed out, i get eczema. therefor making something out of my blood sweat and tears will leave me unconcise and very itchy

7: hypoglycemia- i dont know if this is full on chronic illness, but i have frequent hypoglycemic episodes that we cant figure out why they happen. i've passed out twice because of them, and hey make me super tired and irritable

8: Trauma- (my psyc test came back high for CPTSD but im not diagnosed yet) i went through a very toxic relationship that involved suicide, sh, and ed. It ended with me thinking i had inadvertently killed my best friend, and while we both lived, she is dead to me

9: neurodivergence- I've again been tested for autism and adhd, but i don't have my results back. If i dont have either of those, then my iq (which i haven't been told but is allegedly high) would be the cause (not that standardized tests mean much).