Which of the following does NOT happen in critically acclaimed MMO Final Fantasy XIV?
You're accused of regicide and flee to Fantasy France, where you commit regicide
Alien robot wants to understand humanity so it forces you to do a tournament arc
Postdoc drama kid gachas all your friends into another dimension
Your catgirl friend has vaporized her body and travelled via afterlife twice now
Allowed in Fantasy Japan during their closed country period to be a ghostbuster
Church sucks because they won't let you fuck dragons (free space)
You get so burnt out on your job that you hallucinate a corpse is talking to you
High stakes taco cook-off
Omnicidal maniac who won't stay dead hates you for stealing hat from his clone
Men will do anything but go to therapy, including turn into a dragon
You travel into the past to discover the cause of the apocalypse: a sad bird
Goddess throws a knife at you for blowing her a kiss when you should be fighting