I have never been cunning.
Call me stupid, call me clueless, but I don’t understand games of manipulation. And people seem to be living for these games. They live for drama.
As I grow older, I see the different sides of people, the double faces, how they’re sweet one second, but then twist and turn and smash and burn the next second. It’s an art. To be able to manipulate people and situations to their advantage every time, to act innocent, to create such a well thought out facade, deceiving and leaving people like me to wither away in the crossfire. Because I am not like them. But I am expected to be like them, to manipulate and to be as cunning as them. And sometimes, I think it would probably be easy to drop to their level, to be like them. To let pride and self absorption be the force that drives me.
But it would feel wrong, wholly and completely wrong.
And therefore I am trying to learn to be wise, not deceptive, not cunning, but wise. These situations require a certain wisdom. I don’t want to be walked upon, but I definitely don’t want to drop to their level and walk upon others as they do. I don’t want to be of those who make the lives of others more difficult out of selfishness and a basic lack of consideration. People may lie and cheat and manipulate and move up in the world, but they have no gains where it really matters. Alhamdulillah for knowing what really matters. And I pray Allah keeps me knowing what really matters. If not being like those people means being clueless to these tactics and games, then I’ll take being clueless. I’ll take losing these petty battles in this world, as long as I don’t lose sight of what is important: empathy, kindness, basic human goodness.
The world wants me to be two-faced and selfish, but God tells me to be patient. To be wise, but not to be cunning. Because deception is an evil thing. And something I want no part of.