Peace.

1. What is it you love doing the most and why?

Answered! :)

3. What was the last thing you listened to and how did it make you feel?

I listened to my most favorite Qur’an recitation from my most favorite reciter, Surah Az-Zumar - Idris Abkar. I have probably listened to this recitation every time I’ve messed up, as we all do, or just needed to feel that absolute comforting closeness to Allah. Ayah 53…it just makes my heart tremble with gratitude and love and hope at His beautiful, infinite Mercy. :’)

6. If you could change one thing in the world right now, what would it be?

24. What is the best gift someone got you?

 My family got me tajweed classes to improve my tajweed! Best. Gift. Ever. :’)

1. What is it you love doing the most and why?

I love reflecting. I love thinking. I love being mindful. The days I do these things are good days. I feel like we as a generation are really not getting to know ourselves, our minds, our capabilities because there is so much numbness out there. TV, movies, social media, music, drugs, alcohol, etc. It’s all so…superficial. I really do feel that you need to get away sometimes to really see the immense impact these things have on our mental health. I love being mentally present. I love reflecting on moments that have come to pass, moments that are, and moments that perhaps will be. Albeit, I do have a terrible tendency of overthinking haha, but I like that I get to know my strengths and weaknesses through my own thought processes and working on them. It’s like, now the culture is all be you, forget what the world thinks, you do you. And I think that sucks because we all have biases. There is a sense of arrogance in that line of thought. We all have things we need to learn and unlearn. We have to remember that people do have a right over us to an extent. (And this is why I love Islam, man. It’s timeless. All of these things are addressed in the Qur’an if we only cared to look.) I think I went on like thirty tangents there, but yeah, I love reflecting. On interactions with nature, people, animals, and even with my own self. I really do feel that doing so makes me feel more gratitude and closeness to Allah, and that is a very beautiful and necessary thing indeed. Basically, I love practicing my beautiful religion, day in, day out. Alhamdulillah.

7. What is your favorite quality in a person?

Kindness. Kindness all day, everyday.

22. Speed and adrenaline, or quiet and serene?

Had you asked me that before I had the pleasure of jet skiing in the middle of the ocean, I would’ve said quiet and serene hands down. But man, jet skiing and island hopping was one of the most exhilarating experiences ever and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. My husband was like, lets get a couples ski, and I was like nahhhhh I got this! And boy, did I ever! Our tour guide said that before me, he had never seen a woman, let alone a niqabi reverse parallel park a jet ski…and crazy thing is, this was my very first time on a jet ski! It was a blast. Alhamdulillah for everything, especially these privileged moments of safe adventure and travel.

41. Who is your favorite speaker(s)?

Sometimes, you just gotta be real with you and work on the doing so that you can finally get to the feeling, be it enjoyment, ease, or whatever else you wish for.

These days, I'm just aiming for consistency. In my obligations, in my chores, in my ibadah, in my health. (I wish I could say the same for sleep though lol...)

First comes structure, then comes substance. In order to build a firm structure, you need that initial consistency. I've tried substance, then structure, but I find that I quickly lose structure and my substance begins to dwindle as well, loss of motivation and all that. So I'm just out here trying to be more consistent, organized, and accountable with myself. And inshaAllah that will lead to a stronger ability to self motivate myself even when the structure starts to shake, as it inevitably will.

And it's all because you let it. You let it stay in the first place. Because you wanted to feel that dumb, self righteous emotion. And while you may have been in the complete right, you weren't patient. You weren't kind. You weren't empathetic.

No one benefits from cultivating darkness. It only ever hurts. Yourself and others.

You must be mindful. You must squash evil and negativity right then and there, not leaving any chance for it to linger. And only then will you be able to keep lightness, goodness, and peace within yourself. It requires a strength, one that we absolutely can find if we are willing: in the remembrance of Allah, in remembrance of our limited days, in remembrance of our purpose.

And I have found some of the worst of my days to be days when I was forgetful of myself and forgetful of Him.

I have found that the only way to fill that little hole of seemingly unfillable emptiness that is within us all is to be mindful. 

To think, and not just do.

To remember always. The good things, the blessings, the little and big successes, the obstacles you overcame with the help of God.

To reason. To find purpose in e v e r y t h i n g you do.

To reflect. In all things. Things that have come to pass, things that are, and things that will be (bi’idhnillah).

To repent. To let go of your past and embrace the opportunity you have now. Just like this very second. It’s yours and up to you what you make of it.

To forgive yourself and to forgive others. To let things go. To be better and hold yourself to that high standard from here on out cause you’re worth it. No matter the past, no matter the mistakes, you realize your worth in the sight of God. 

I have found that even in miserably attempting to do all the above, even with all my flaws, I am still capable of the greatness that I look up to in the best of mankind, the best of Muslims. Capable of, and not at all close to perfecting. And that still gives me hope. Because you know what the most beautiful thing about all this is? 

Allah does not expect perfection either from me, nor from you. As long as I even attempt the above with sincerity, I can be from amongst those whom Allah loves.