some of you people are so annoying. i mean me too but good lord

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@another-place-to-fall
some of you people are so annoying. i mean me too but good lord

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two and a half minutes of people pointing out river's failures and fuck-ups
at this point what witchcraft has to be done to see daeron the daring on screen
Ethan Hawke for CBS Sunday Morning

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every year when the met gala rolls around Iβm like what do they do if they have to go to the bathroom
I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best
Heβs literally just telling it like it is
the thing is river cartwright is kind of like if a jenga tower was a person
like river goes into season 1 with a set of certainties about himself and his place in the world (the jenga blocks, if you will). he's extremely confident in himself and his skills and place in the world. and each season so far has been slowly removing one of these things and making said jenga tower more and more imbalanced. in s1 and s2 this certainty is I am Good at My Job. after stansted it's still feasible for him to believe this but after the thing with sid and the code september in s2 (also a season in which he doesn't have much of a part in the final defeating of the season's big bad iirc, he actually makes things worse) that's not so certain anymore. move on to s3 and the certainty is We are the Good Guys. which for obvious reasons is no longer really the truth after s3, and made worse by the fact that the person to really put the final nail in the coffin of that specific fact is his grandfather. which brings us to s4's certainty, I Know Who I Am - he loses both david (a foundational model for himself) and there is also the obvious revelation there which fucks things up even worse. in s5 the certainty/jenga block is less a fact and more that he is hanging onto louisa as the only person he really has to talk to anymore after losing david, who has also been around since the beginning, except he also kind of torpedoes that himself (unintentionally). by the end of s5 absolutely none of those things are true OR certain anymore !! so no wonder he immediately jumps for 'i don't belong in slough house because i'm really fucking good' after doing one (1) thing right in s5 he desperately needs confirmation of any one of these things so as soon as there's even a shred of evidence he clings to it (1 single jenga block left in this tower. idk . you get it)
Something I like about River is that he is written as this sort of generic archetype of a spy thriller protagonist, and he is simultaneously very attached to the fantasy of actually being Generic Spy Protagonist, which aaaalmost gives him a sort of genre awareness, except he never seems to figure out that he has been dropped into the wrong genre. And he just. Cannot adjust. So he keeps on doing stuff that seems incredibly stupid and impulsive, because it would work if he were the protagonist in a Bond thriller, but instead he falls flat on his face every time.
It also then makes it funnier how heβs kind of like, βbut guys Iβm the main character,β and everyone else is like, βyou fucking narcissist,β because tbh none of them are wrong. He is the main character, he just canβt accept that being the main character is not always an aspirational role.
But anyway, this is also why Iβm really not bothered by stuff like River having a surprise evil dad and whatnot because thatβs exactly the type of outlandish backstory a generic spy protagonist would have.

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back on my bullshit here's more
sometimes you just gotta close your eyes and listen to the lord of the rings original score
(Smugly after failing at a task) and they said it could be done.
theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

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GO FERB GO!!!πͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺπͺ